Whiskers & Purrs

A Present For Mommy

Hi.  This is Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III speakin'.  I just wanted all you peoples on the innernets know that I made a wonnerful present for my mommy.  I am now officially sure that I am her most favoritist person in this house.  I thought I would share this whole 'xperience with all you other cats on the innernets in the hopes it would inspire you to do the same thing.  Mommy was just so happy when she realized all the hard work I did to make this present for her.

See, in the middle of the night when mommy and all them other cats was sleepin', I sneeked downstairs.  Mommy always takes her shoes off when she comes into the house.  Well, I know how hard mommy has been workin' lately and I wanted her to start her day off today with a little pat on the back and a warm fuzzy feelin' in her heart.

So...I had to git real creative and use some yoga positions to do it, but after a lotta hard work and gruntin'...I made the biggest most stinkiest poop right inside one of her shoes!  It was the most perfect thing...all I needed was a big bright red bow to put on her shoe to make the bestest present she has ever received.

And...you shoulda heard how happy she was when she went to put her shoes on this mornin'!  I didn't even hafta sign my name or nothin' on it...the first thing she said when she saw it was "OH HENRY!!!".  I think she cried a little bit 'cause of all her happiness and warm fuzzy feelin's!

So, all you other kitties out there, give it a thought and see if you can't leave your mommy a surprise just like me!  You'll be surprised at how good you will feel 'bout yourself by giving such a heartfelt gift like I did.

Very truly yours,

Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III

A Pawlitikal Statement From Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III

To all the peoples on the innernets,

This here is Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III.  With all the talk on CNN 'bout the carcasses in Iowa yesterday, I just thinked that maybe I should clear up all the confusion.

I ain't sure why all of this is goin' on.  There just ain't no reason for everybody to be thinkin' 'bout votin'  for Hillary, Obama, Juicianni, or Hickupaby.  I'm the dang man for the job, y'all.  Here's why:

1. I'll make sure there's access to FREE NIP for every single Feline American.
2. We will put an end to homelessness...it takes a Village, but we'll find homes for every puss cat in America.
3. Fancy Feast will be free.
4. Mommy's will go to jail if they don't give you good ear skratchin's and belly rubs every day.
5. The sun will shine every day so we can all nap in a sun beam for at least 23 hours each day.
6. Everybody will be encouraged to think outsida the box...I've been doin' that my whole life...you'd be surprised at how good it will make you feel 'bout yourself.  Shoot...you might even be able to be a Senator one day yourself 'cause of it!
7. Tinklin' on your mommy's pillow will NOT be a crime.
8. Tinklin' on your mommy's favoritest chair will NOT be a crime.
9. Poopin' in the floor right in front of company that don't have cats and don't unnerstand the "thinkin' outsida the box" concept will NOT be a crime.
10. All vetroregugitarians will be required to learn to speak "Cat" just like Aunt Doktor Dugan does.

So, there y'all go.  10 reasons you just gotta vote for me, Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III.  I'm the man for the job.  The world will be a perfikt place once I'm moved on up from just a Senator to President.

Very truly yours,

Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves, III

Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III Has A Hissy Fit

This here is Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III speakin'.  I is mad.  Real. Mad.  I have had 'nuff of the abuse and neglect that I git every single day of my life.  Tonight, I needed to take a tinkle.  Now there ain't nothin' wrong with takin' a tinkle when you gotta go. Everybody does it.  Somebody please sue me 'cause I just happened to be on the big bed when I knowed I had to go.  So I very quietly scratched on the bedspread and then let 'er rip.  Shoot me 'cause mother nature called and I listened right where I was.  I GOT YELLED AT TONIGHT BY MY MEAN HURTFUL MOMMY.  So she had to wash the sheets, the bedspread, the pillow and the big fantastical magical blanket...is that gonna kill her???  I had to tinkle, dang it!  Mommy don't  deserve to have such a sopissticated man such as myself to call her little boy.  My feelin's is hurt and I ain't a gonna talk to mommy again ever, never, ever.

Very truly yours,
Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III

The Senator Speaks

To all the peoples on the innernets, this is your Senator a speakin'. 

I have lots to say today, so go git some hot choklit and pizza, sit back and be prepared to have some real deep thinkin' comin' your way.

First of all, I'm real upset 'bout a few things and I just gotta git 'em off of my chest.  That man named Dog Chapman said some real bad and real dumb things.  He should be ashamed.  But what can you xpect from somebody named Dog?  Honestly, when's the last time somebody named "Cat" said anything dumb and stupid like that?  I ain't sayin' no more on that subject...just think 'bout it for a minute.

Next, I would like to make it clear that I don't like nobody sniffin', touchin', lookin' at or even thinkin' 'bout my butt-tocks.  Stop it people!  In the past 2 days, all of my brothers and sisters have been gittin' just a little too close to my very extra special private areas.  I have slapped you all silly before and I will do it again if you keep tryin' to check out my family jewels, you little bunch of perverts.

And finally, I'm real sick and tired of hearin' 'bout the prezidinchul 'lekshun.  I am the most important pawatician in the whole world.  Why Coco would say she's votin' for Obama Obama Obama is beyond me.  She just ain't right.  I'm mad at her now forever and ever.

Now, onto some good news...mommy has been real tired lately.  She had a real bad week and it ended with our thing that blows out warm air and keeps the house warm goin' on the blink.  She was very tired and stressed out by the time Friday got here.  She went to bed real real early last night.  I was worried 'bout her.  I curled up next to her to keep her warm.  I checked on her about eleventy-five times throughout the night.  She was sleepin' real good around 2:30 in the mornin' and I could tell she needed to know I was right there with her.  So, I gots real real close...I purred real real loud...then...I climbed up on her chest and wiped my super wet, super cold and slimy nose right on her lips!  Well, as you might imagine, she was so excited and happy that she woke right up!  I just stun myself sometimes with all the smart and thoughtful things I do every day for my mommy.

Very truly yours,
Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III

The Senator Meditates Before Supper

The Senator Meditates Before Supper

Hello to all of my peoples. This here is Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III. I wanted to take moment to share with you my thoughts...uh, well, I guess I don't have any thoughts but if I did, they would be real important and you would want to read them.

Back to my naps...

Very truly yours,
Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III

The Senator Conducts An Inspection...

Before anyone is allowed to get too attached to the new scratchin' post...Henry must inspect it to make sure it meets his high Senatorial Standards...

Ahhh...the new scratchin' post passes the inspection with flyin' colors...Accordin' to the Senator, the cubby hole will make a GREAT new place to pee!!!

The Senator

Hi.  This is your Senator a speakin'.  I am workin' today.  This is a pikchur of your tax dollars hard at work...

 

Don't see nothin'?  Look closer...

Unlike SOME people in this house...I don't sleep on the job...

This is why I am the senator in this house and my brothers and sisters are just "the little people"...

Very truly yours,

Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III

Dang...I'm Dreamy

- Get Your Own

I Know You Want to Kiss Me On The Lips

Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves, III

Well, there's not really much I need to say...look at me...I'm dang wonderful.  I just know that mommy loves me more than them other cats that live in my house.  And, I mean, who could really blame her?  What's not to love?  Everything about me screams "sopisstication" and class.  Dang...I'm hot...Okay, gotta go lick some stuff.

Very truly yours,

Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves, III 

Thinkin' Outside Of The Box

Today is day 2 of me sharin' all my senatorin' wisdom with ya'll.  Ya know, one of my most favoritest thangs in the world to do is poop.  Mommy says it's how I express my creativity.  I call it "Thinkin' outside of the Box". 

Sometimes, when I feel like 'spressin myself, I think outside the box in my favorite corner of the livin' room.  All the other cats in the house unnerstand that this is my special corner and they can't even go near it.

Other times, when I want to share my little creative self with mommy first thing in the mornin', I think outside of the box at the bottom of the stairs.  That way, she not only sees my creativity first thing when she gets up, she usually steps in it, too! 

Then, there are times I need to get mommy's attention when she comes home from work.  So, I leave a little bit of my creativity right in front of the door so she "gets it" right when she gets home.

And then, there's my most extra special favorite place...any time day or night when I feel like lettin' 'er rip, I head straight for the bathtub and get creative all over the place!

So, to all the people in the world that have voted for me, I encourage you all to take it from me, your loyal and hard workin' Senator, try thinkin' outside of the box for a while and see how much better you'll feel.  For everybody that ain't been votin' for me, just watch where you step 'cause you just never know where I'll feel like thinkin' outside of the box next!

Very Truly Yours,

Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves, III