Whiskers & Purrs

Could This Be Love?

Hello to all the peoples on the innernets.  This is Freddy Astaire Graves III speakin'.  I want to tell all you peoples a very important thing...over the weekend, I officially discovered that Mazie Grace is a girl...a real womans with the Hotness!  Dang...see, I'm just a little squirt.  I ain't even a year old yet.  Up until now, Mazie Grace was just a real cool cat that I like to play with...ya know...chase toys and bat balls 'round the room with.

But...after this weekend...well...it just ain't never gonna be the same.  Me an Mazie Grace started kissin'...ya know...swappin' spit.  Dang...she's a real good spit swapper!  She might be blind as a bat but she's got some real womanly ways...if you know what I'mma talkin' 'bout.  It kinda skeers me a little bit...does this mean I'mma grown up?

Yep...Mazie Grace is one fine womans.

Very truly yours,
Freddy Astaire Graves III

Boogers is gonna happen...git over it.

Hi.  This is Freddie Astaire Graves III speakin'.  Mommy gots mad at me yesterday and I don't think it's fair.  She came home after spendin' the whole day playin' with that person named "Work".  She had played so hard at Work's house that she was all tired and cranky.  She fixed herself some supper and, of course, I had to inspect it and make sure it didn't have no poison in it AND make sure it wasn't somethin' I wanted to slurp and lick and snack on.  See, mommy don't particularly like it when I do my inspections.  She just don't seem to unnerstand that I'mma doin' this for her own good.  She's pritty ungrateful about it, to tell you the truth.  Well, she had fixed everything and had turned her back to do somethin' at the sink.  So, I figured I'd do my investigatin' when she wasn't lookin'...what mommy don't know, won't hurt her, right?

So, I jumped up on the table and carefully sniffed and licked and sampled her suppers...just as she turned around, unfortunately I had me a Booger Attack.  You know, all 12 of us have gots the boogers.  Sometimes them mean ol' boogers hit you and you just gotsta sneeze.  So...just when mommy saw me samplin'...I mean, inspectin' her supper I had to make a big ol' sneezie.  She fussed and fussed and fussed at me.  And then, she throwed her plate of supper into the garbage disposal thingy that makes a big loud skeery noise.  There is people starvin' in China and mommy throwed that perfectly good plate of supper away!!!  That's just wrong, people.  I don't particularly think it was a big deal but mommy sure did git herself upset.  I just don't git it...boogers is gonna happen...boogers is a part of life.  Just git over it, mommy.

Very truly yours,
Freddy Astaire Graves III

Life. Is. Good!

Hi.  This is Freddy Astaire Graves III speakin'.  I am a very happy cat.  I love to git me some lovin' from mommy.  Every night before bedtime, I jump up on her lap and we kiss.  She kisses me and scratches all my stuff...

I really really REALLY like it when she scratches my ears JUST LIKE THIS!!!...Dang...it's wonnerful!

Life. Is. Good.

Very truly yours,
Freddy Astaire Graves III

I Gots Cooties.

Hi. This is Freddy speakin'.  Uh, I don't know how to tell you peoples on the innernets this but...uh...I think I gots me some cooties.  It's kinda skeery.  See, I was lovin' on mommy last night 'fore she falled asleep.  We was kissin' and stuff and she was scratchin' my butt-tocks when she said "Freddy!  What on earth?!?...The fur on you hind leg is gone!...You must have cooties!!!" 

Now I ain't exzactly sure what cooties is and why they eated all the hairs on my hind leg.  Are they like pets?  Do I needs to feed 'em?  Was they hungry and that's why they had to eat my hairs?  Do they need to be petted and licked?  I wonner if they poop in the litter box or "go" somewhere else?  This is a lotta responsibility for a little boy like me!  I've asked my brothers and sisters and they all say they ain't never had them no hair-eatin' cooties.  I don't know what to do.  Mommy said we must see Aunt Doktor Dugan rights away.  I'll ask her!  Aunt Doktor Dugan knows everything and I won't have to worry 'bout my cooties 'cause she will take care of 'em!

Very truly yours,
Freddy

We Gots Into Trouble!

Dear Peoples on the Innernets,

This is Mazie Grace speakin'.  We is in trouble.  Dang.  See, every night all of us cats cuddle up with mommy.  She thinks it's 'cause we wanna be with her and snuggle with her...well...that ain't 'zactly right.  See, we knows that as soon as mommy goes to sleep, we can play and do all them things she tells us not to do...'cause what mommy don't know won't hurt her...or us, right?  So we do everything we can to encourage her to go to the sleepy man's house and snooze!

Well, last night was just like all them other ones.  Mommy got into bed, turned the TV on and started nittin'.  She don't like us playin' with the strings she uses.  In fact, believe it or not, she fusses at us when we try to chew on or play with her strings!  That don't 'zactly seem right to us and it makes us mad, but that's a whole other story for another day.  Anyways...we did our usual purrin' and headbuttin' and snugglin' up next to her in the hopes she would go on to sleeps...IT WORKED!  See, mommy sleeps like a dead person and don't hear nothin'.  So, we can swing from the chandeliers if we want and she will never know it!  And, let me tell you, last night was one fine party at the Whiskers & Purrs house!  Dang...we breaked out the nip and everything! 

This mornin' when mommy waked up, we heard "WHAT IN THE WORLD!  WHO DID THIS???" bein' screamed from her bedroom...somebody must've gotted themselves over the Nip Legal Limit and went plum crazy.  All them strings that mommy had been nittin' was a big ol' fuzzy mess.  It was very dramatical.  She is real real REAL mad.  She said she was sure it was me, Jimmy and Freddy 'cause we is "always doin' stuff like this"...uh, 'xcuse me...ain't everybody innoncent until proved guilty??? 

We just all meeted unnerneath the dinin' room table.  We have decided that the best thing is to stay outta her way all day, but if we gots to run into mommy, we gots to look real pitiful and cute.  Oh, and we gots to purr real loud any time we see her.  That always gits her.

I wonner if any other kitties git into trouble like we do...if you have any suggestions as to how we can manage our mommy better, please let us know.

Very truly yours,
Mazie Grace

Dancin' With The Stars...

Hi.  This is Freddy speakin'. First of all, ain't I cute?  I just love to lay like this in bed with mommy...I wiggle and squirm and purr every night just like this.  Mommy says I look like a cartoon cat...what is that?  Does anybody know?  I think it means "brilliant and sopissticated". 

Last night we watched a real old movie that was in black & white...it had some man named "Fred Astaire" and a girl named "Ginger Rogers" in it...dang...how come he stealed my name like that???  He couldn't dance nearly as good as me...mommy says I should be on "Dancin' with the Stars"...maybe next season...I'll have to figure out which one of my sisters will be on the show with me...maybe Miss Elizabeth Taylor.  I'll keep you all posted.  Okay, back to my wigglin', squirmin' and purrin'.

Very truly yours,
Freddy Astaire Graves, III

PS...From Freddy

PS...I forgots to tell y'all that in 2 1/2 weeks I have gained a whole big pound!  Life. Is. Good!

 

Freddy Pays A Visit To Aunt Doktor Dugan

Hi.  This is Freddy speakin'.  I just wanted to let everybody on the innernets know that I was real real skeerd today.  See, mommy didn't know it but I heard her talkin' to Aunt Doktor Dugan on the phone today.  I heard her say, "okay, I'll bring Freddy by at 12:15"...now let me tell you peoples, my heart breaked.  She was gonna take me back.  I just couldn't believe it.  I was gonna have to go back into the kitty condo and poop in front of the window again.  I was so very sad.  See, I've had the poops and been makin' vomit a lot in the past few days...I guess it made mommy mad or somethin'.  All I knowed was that she picked me up and put me in the carrier...you know, the one she brought me home in...and put me in the car.

I gots to admit that it was fun to see Aunt Doktor Dugan and all them nice peoples that work for her again!  They is some real good people there!  While I was there, I forgetted all 'bout the fact that mommy was abandonin' me.  See...here's a picture of me just chillin' out in one of the exam rooms.  Aunt Doktor Dugan has these real cool cubby holes where little squirts like me can hide when we is skeerd.  She leeved a cool toy for me to play with...mommy said it was somethin' called an ink pen...all I knowed was that it was Lots. Of. Fun!!!  When Aunt Doktor Dugan came back into the room, she squeezed around on my tummy and taked my temperature...she must really love me a lot...the way she was a squeezin' on me and scratchin' my ears and belly...dang...she was treatin' me good!

I was enjoyin' all that scratchin' and squeezin so much...and then the next thing I knowed, Aunt Doktor Dugan leaved the room!  I don't know where she went!  I figured she was goin' to git the kitty condo for me.  But...she came back in the room and had some bottles of stuff and started tellin' mommy some instructions...

The next thing I knowed, mommy was puttin' me back in the carrier and we was on our way back home!!!  SHE WASN'T ABANDONIN' ME!!! Now I'm back at home and mommy has instructions on the medicines she is supposed to give me to make my pooper work right.  I AM SO HAPPY!!!  I don't have to move back into the kitty condo and poop in public anymore!  I can stay here with all my friends and poop in private!

Very truly yours,
Mr. Freddy Astaire Graves III

Freddy Is Tired Of Waitin' On Santa Claws

Hi.  This is Freddy speakin'.  Who is this man named "Santa Claws" and why do we gots to wait on him?  I is tired of waitin'...wake me up when he gits here.

Very truly yours,
Three Finger Freddy Astaire Graves III

A Message For Aunt Doktor Dugan & All Them Nice Peoples That Work With Her

Dear Aunt Doktor Dugan and all them nice peoples that work with her,

This here is Freddy Astaire Graves III speakin'.  Today is my one week anniversary of bein' in my forever home.  Dang...life is GOOD people!  In this first week I've already made 'bout a gazillion friends...I like ALL of my brothers and sisters and ALL of 'em like me, too!  I've also eated 4733 cans of Fancy Feast...of course, my mommy did NOT buy them from Ukrop's...(read 'bout that mess here)...I've also had my very first ever kiss from a real live girl!...Hubba Hubba...I likes me some Mazie Grace!  I've sleeped every single night on the big bed with mommy and all them other cats...it's got a magical blanket on it that is warm and toasty...I can't control myself when I'm on it...I just gots to sing my purry song the minute I step on it.  I've runned up and down the stairs about 73,257 times.  Gosh...runnin' up and down the stairs is a whole lots better than livin' in the kitty condo.  Plus...now when I make poops, I don't gots to do it the window at Aunt Doktor Dugan's office...the kitty condo was smack-dab up against the window and I couldn't git me no privacy.  Now there's about eleventy-three litter boxes for me to poop in and they all have gots covers on 'em so I can concentrate when I'mma doin' my business!

I guess all I've gots to say, Aunt Doktor Dugan, is that I'm happy...REAL happy.  Thanks for helpin' me find my forever family.

Very truly yours,
Three-Finger Freddy Astaire Graves III