Hi. This is Elsie Fallulah Graves speakin'. I have decided that I am going to take it easy today...sleep late, sniff some nips, dream 'bout my Anderson Cooper and relax. With all the stress of worryin' 'bout mommy leavin' us for a whole week, I need to have some "me" time. It's important for a womans to take keer of herself. Today is gonna be all 'bout me me ME!
That's it for now. Nighty-night!
Very truly yours,
Miss Elsie Fallulah Graves
To all the peoples on the innernets, this is Elsie Fallulah speakin'. I gots me a confession to make. I is in love. It all started 'bout a month ago. The first time I saw him, I knew it was love at first site. You all probably know him...his name is Anderson Cooper. He is the hotness. I watch him on TV every night at 10:00 PM on CNN. Here is why I love him:
Yes, I love me my Anderson Cooper. I'm sure he would love me, too, if we could just ever meet.
Very truly yours,
Miss Elsie Fallulah Graves
Hi everybody on the innernets. This is Elsie Fallulah speakin'. I just wanted to tell y'all that, if you've got a spare minute, we sure would appreciate it if you peoples would say a prayer for Felix. Today he's gots to go back to see Aunt Doktor Davies for her to check him out and see how he is doin'. We is all still a little worried. He's better in some ways...for 'zample, he don't cry out in pain no more. But, in a some ways, he's still the same. He's gonna spend the whole day up at VRCC gittin' a physical, blood work and somethin' called ultrasound to see into his insides.
I'mma gonna sit right here and say prayers all day long until he comes back.
Very truly yours,
Elsie Fallulah Graves
To all the peoples on the innernets, this is Elsie Fallulah speakin'. I would just like to say that I hope all of y'all had a real good weekend while I was at home feelin' real real REAL bad. I gots me lots of boogers...mommy says it's an upper respiratory infection. Felix gots it first...then 7 more of us gots it. Then the last remainin' 4 of us gots it. Our whole house has now gots the boogers. I am real tired of not bein' able to breathe. Since I can't smell nothin', I ain't been eatin' my foods so...mommy has been syringe feedin' me...now let me tell you - that ain't no kinda fun. It really upsets me...a lot. Tell me what kinda person would enjoy havin' their supper squirted down their throat!
Like Georgie said last week...boogers ain't no kinda fun. Them boogers...they just ain't your friend.
Very truly yours,
Elsie Fallulah Graves
Hi. This is Elsie Fallulah speakin'. I am tired...sick and tired of hearin' 'bout the 'lekshun. We gots our big vote on Tuesday here in Virginia. Me and all my brothers and sisters are sendin' mommy to vote for us. We is all sick and tired of this mess and just feel like it ain't worth our time to fool with it.
We knows who we ain't votin' for...you know...the other side. But we ain't sure who we is votin' for yet...ya know, the one on our side. It just gives me a headache.
Not only do we haffta deal with all the Prezidenchul stuff, but we gots to deal wiff our very own pawatishun, Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III...this mornin' he taked a big stinky dump right in the bathtub...he was mumblin' somethin' 'bout how we all needed to start thinkin' outside of the box...whatever that means. He ain't right...it just goes to prove that most of them pawatishuns got a few screws loose.
Will somebody wake me up when it's all over?
Very truly yours,
Elsie Fallulah Graves
This is Elsie Fallulah speakin'. I know me and you ain't been the best of friends...but I wanted to let you know how sad I am that you is sick and in the hospital. Since you is always tryin' to git all up into my business, I thought maybe you might enjoy gittin' a Hubba Hubba picture of me...maybe it will make you feel better. I hope so. I do look kinda hot in this picture, don't I? You can even see the little polka dots that is on my arm...mommy says that's where the angels kissed me before I leaved heaven to come down here to live with her.
Mommy says you might git to come home today...me and all our brothers and sisters have our paws crossed that you will. It just ain't right here without you. We will give you lots of gentle head butts and kisses the minute you git here.
Hurry up and git here, 'kay? We all love you and miss you an awful awful lot.
Very truly yours,
Elsie Fallulah Graves
Hi. This is Elsie Fallulah speakin'. I've been thinkin' 'bout my big sister, Lucy, today...a very lot. I miss her...a very big lot. She was my bestest friend. This is a pikchur of me and her when I was just a little squirt...I was only 'bout 6 weeks old here. I was super-little and she was super-big then. She hated me...hated my guts. But...over time, she realized that I was a-okay.
When I was little, I followed her everywhere. It made her so mad...I didn't do it to make her mad...it's just that I wanted to be like her...do everything she did, the way she did it and when she did it. Even though she hated me, it was good to just be near her and hear her purr and duck when she went to slap me upside the head.
This is a pikchur of Lucy the very first time she ever laid eyes on me...see, I was a bottle baby...mommy had to feed me a bottle every 3 hours. Since I was so little and Lucy & Ricky was so big, mommy made me a groovy little apartment in this here big carrier. You can hardly see me in it 'cause of Lucy's big you-know-what...she was definitely a plus-size model back in them days.
I'd give anything to have Lucy here with us again. I miss her headbutts and face washes. I just miss her. DANG OL' CANCER! Why'd you have to take my big sister away?
Very truly yours,
Elsie Fallulah Graves
Me and you ain't been real good friends since you moved in. See, the only boy that I have ever loved was Ricky. He was the first boy I ever meeted. He hated me. It kinda hurt my feelin's 'cause he always swatted me and runned away from me when all I ever wanted was a headbutt and a kiss.
So, I kinda taked my hurted feelin's out on you. But, I'm startin' to kinda git butterflies in my tummy when you walk by and I've even been makin' googley eyes at you...I don't think you've figured it out yet...'specially since I've spent the whole time you've been here hissin' at ya and swattin' you upside the head when I think you is tryin' to git all up into my business.
Let's be friends now, 'kay? Maybe we could make headbutts or somethin'...If you like me, too, meet me unnerneath the dinin' room table after supper tonight. I'll keep my paws crossed that you will forgive me for every hiss, spit, growl and swat.
Very truly yours,
Elsie Fallulah Graves
