Whiskers & Purrs

I Gots Cooties.

Hi. This is Freddy speakin'.  Uh, I don't know how to tell you peoples on the innernets this but...uh...I think I gots me some cooties.  It's kinda skeery.  See, I was lovin' on mommy last night 'fore she falled asleep.  We was kissin' and stuff and she was scratchin' my butt-tocks when she said "Freddy!  What on earth?!?...The fur on you hind leg is gone!...You must have cooties!!!" 

Now I ain't exzactly sure what cooties is and why they eated all the hairs on my hind leg.  Are they like pets?  Do I needs to feed 'em?  Was they hungry and that's why they had to eat my hairs?  Do they need to be petted and licked?  I wonner if they poop in the litter box or "go" somewhere else?  This is a lotta responsibility for a little boy like me!  I've asked my brothers and sisters and they all say they ain't never had them no hair-eatin' cooties.  I don't know what to do.  Mommy said we must see Aunt Doktor Dugan rights away.  I'll ask her!  Aunt Doktor Dugan knows everything and I won't have to worry 'bout my cooties 'cause she will take care of 'em!

Very truly yours,
Freddy

One Word Wednesday...Pussicatification

To all the people on the innernets,

This here is Miss Elizabeth Taylor speakin'.  Mommy says that I gits to pick the one word for our One Word Wednesday thingy.  Today's word is "pussicatification".  Now there are some peoples out there that may not unnerstand that word.  Them is the people that don't have no sense. The peoples that do unnerstand are the peoples that really really REALLY matter in the world. 

Pussicatification is the process of pussy cats makin' stuff right...ya know...leavin' their mark on the world.  For examples...in our house, it's really easy to see the results of pussicatification...kitty cat hair has been strategically placed on every flat/non-flat/semi-flat surface in the house.  That's the pussicatification of our house.  Do not even think 'bout suckin' up the kitty cat hair we have worked so hard to place with the big loud sucker-upper ...we will come right behind you and pussicatify everything you have worked so hard to clean.

Another type of pussicatification is the strategic placement of tinkles on as many surfaces in the house and/or your mommy as you can find.  Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III is the master of tinkle pussicatification in our house.  Let's see...mommy's pillows, mommy's bed, mommy's clothes, mommy's leg, the couch, the chairs, the dining room table, the dining room chairs, the hot thingy's on the stove, the kitchen sink...I think you git my drift...there ain't a place in the house that the Senator ain't tried to pussicatify.

Other examples of pussicatification are the very strategic and well-thought-out fingernail skratches we leave on our furniture...interior dekoratin' just ain't complete without our artistic touch. Then there's the very-important "scent" of the house...this must be pussicatified in order for a home to have that "lived-in" feel to it.  All 12 of us work together on that one to ensure we have a constant and consistent aroma from the 473 pounds of poo we manufacture every single day.

That's it for now...gotta go do me some pussicatifyin' right now!

Very truly yours,
Miss Elizabeth Taylor

A Message For Mommy From "Anonymous"

Dearest Mommy,

We knows you ain't been feelin' good but we have now had 'nuff of this stuff.  Time to quit feelin' sorry for yourself and git back to bein' a good mommy.  We have decided to take some action.  We know you noticed this mornin' that a little surprise had been leaved for you...you remember...you had picked out your undies and most favoritest bosom holder and leaved it on the vanity when you was takin' a shower...remember how somebody had made a "mistake" and tinkled on 'em by the time you gotted outta the shower?  Guess what...ANONYMOUS has striked again...This wasn't no mistake.  A few of us gotted together and decided to send you a message...START PAYIN' ATTENTION TO US OR YOUR PILLOW WILL BE NEXT!

Very truly yours,

Anonymous

An Update On Felix And His Pooper

Hi to all the peoples on the innernets.  First I wanna say thanks to all the very extra specially nice people on the innernets. We have received LOTSA emails askin' 'bout my pooper.  It sure makes me and mommy feel real warm and fuzzy in our insides.  We is real thankful for people just like y'all. 

We ain't got a real update yet about my pooper...we has been tryin' some stuff.  It has worked a little bit but, for the most part, it just still ain't quite right.  I'm feelin' a little better...shoot...what am I thinkin'...I've been feelin' good!  I was chasin' me some of them women cats in this house just yesterday...had to git me a little somethin' somethin' from Fergie...dang...she's hot!  We had a good time playin' and then kissin' afterwards.

So, here's the deal...we tried somethin' mommy calls "medicine"...I call it poison.  You pusscats have probably heard of it...it's called "flagyl" (or metronidozole if you're super-high-fallootin).  It has helped me a little bit.  Plus, mommy has been givin' me something called "Vetasyl" in my suppers...I ain't sure what it is 'zactly but I can't taste it...as long as it does not interfere with my Fancy Feast Experience, it's okay with me.

I gots to go back to the Veterinary Referral & Critical Care Hospital (VRCC) on Friday, February 1 at 9:00 in the mornin' to see Aunt Doktor Davies.  She is probably gonna do somethin' called an endoscopoopy. Now I know that sounds all skeery and everything but me and mommy have had us a long long LONG talk 'bout it.  See, like I've telled y'all before, Aunt Doktor Davies is the worlds bestest pooper fixer-upper.  And, mommy says that once Aunt Doktor Davies finds out what's wrong, she'll help fix it and then I will feel good all the dang time.  So...I ain't too skeerd 'bout it. Mommy is a little skeerd...she don't think I know that every time she has taked one of us to VRCC, it's usally real bad...so bad that we have to go to heaven.  See, VRCC is a special place.  It's where little people like us go when we is in trouble...they know how to fix stuff real good.  But, like mommy telled me, sometimes there just ain't no way to fix the stuff that is bad.  But, I keep tryin' to tell mommy that ain't gonna happen this time. Please, everybody, tell mommy that it's gonna be okay, 'kay?  She's gonna be crazier than a loon by Friday mornin' if you don't.

Okay, that's it for now.  Thanks again for all them nice emails and comments.  We is gonna keep 'em for ever and ever and EVER!

Very truly yours,
Felix the Magical Cat

We Need A New Roof???

To all you peoples on the innernets, this is Felix speakin'.  Well, I'm just 'bout as confused as I have ever been in my whole life.  Mommy has been real real sick this weekend.  We've been tryin' to help her out 'cause we must make sure she's strong 'nuff to open up them cans of Fancy Feast 2 times every single day.  Well, she just ain't a gittin' any better.  I just heard her cryin' on the phone to somebody sayin' she's got "shingles"...uh, mommy, please focus on gittin' better and stop worryin' 'bout the roof!!! 
Very truly yours,
Felix the Magical Cat

A Bad Day

Hi.  This is Mazie Grace speakin'.  We have had us a bad day.  Mommy has been real real sick...ya know, makin' vomit and stuff.  It's been real skeery and we've been busy takin' care of her.  We is just way too tired to write much today...please check back in on Sunday...we'll have lots to write 'bout then.

Very truly yours,

Mazie Grace, Nurse Extraordinare

Mommy Is Sad.

Dear Sweet Angel Lucy,

Mommy is really sad today...It just dawned on me that it has been 4 months since you had to leave us to go to heaven.  Sometimes I just can't get it straight in my head that you aren't snoozing on mommy's pillow, waiting for supper  and a glorious tummy rub.  I miss you so much, little one...my very best friend in the world.  How I would give anything to just hear your purr and cranky meow just one more time.  Yesterday I was driving to work and it just hit me...that awful, sad realization that you are gone.  Right there, in front of God and everybody, mommy just started crying like a big ol' doofus.  It just happened that a county policeman was in the lane next to me as we pulled up to a stop light.  He rolled down his window and asked if I was okay...I'm thinking maybe you sent that nice man to check on me.

Somehow, deep down inside, mommy knows that you are still with us.  Oh how I hope you are!  Please keep watch over mommy, your brothers and sisters and the nice kitties that visit us on the blog.  Somehow the world seems a little brighter just knowing that you are watching over us.

Please never leave us.

Love,
Mommy

A Very Important Date

Dear Peoples on the Innernets,

We wants to bring to your attention a very extra super-important date.  Mommy is all excited 'bout it and is makin' some BIG plans.  It's called "SUPER Innernational Pajama Day" and it's on Sunday February 3.  Now we is kinda excited 'bout this ourselves.  Here's why...all kinds of good stuff happens when mommy is in her pajamas. 

First, when mommy is in her pajamas, she is usually home.  Now she ain't right so there might be a time when she forgits and leaves the house in her pajamas but that ain't happened YET that we is aware of.  And, when mommy is home in her pajamas, it means there ain't nothin' goin' on in the world to her but US!!!  She is usually only innerested in scratchin' our stuff, givin' us kisses, rubbin' our ears and talkin' to us in that special "mommy loves us" tone.  Ain't no cleanin', compooterin', workin' in the yard or stressin' out 'cause of that person named "work" we was tellin' you 'bout.  Pajama wearin' days mean ain't nothin' goin' on but mommy layin' in bed with us, watchin' old black and white movies, doin' somethin' she calls "nittin"...we call it "playin' with strings", drinkin' hot chokits and LOVIN' on us - the most important peoples in the world to mommy!

So...it's real important that all you pussycats make sure your humans knows 'bout this very important holiday...make sure they git ready to wear them pajamas and do nothin' but pay attention to YOU the whole dang day!!!

Very truly yours,

The Whiskers & Purrs Gang

What's Your Name, Pussycat?

To all the peoples on the innernets,

We are so excited!  We was tagged by our very good friends, Sammy & Miles, to tell y'all about our names.  This is called a MEME.  Here's the rules...

1. Post a link to the kitty who tagged you...in our case, it was Sammy & Miles...and post the rules on your blog.
2. List your real name, how you got your real name, nicknames you like/tolerate and nicknames you wish your humans would stop calling you.
3. Tag several kitties and write a comment on their blog to let them know they have been tagged. 

It's that easy!  So, here it goes:

Hi.  This is Buzzy speakin'.  My real name is Mr. Buzzy Randolph Graves III.  I ain't got no nicknames other than Buzz-o-licious, Fuzzy Buzzy and Buzzy Bear and I would rather have Aunt Doktor Dugan stick a thermomotator into my you-know-what than be called any of them names.

Hi.  My real name is Mademoiselle Coco Chanel.  I am beautiful and oh, so very shy!  An acceptable nickname that I have is "Coco the PussyCat".  One that is absolutely, positively NOT acceptable is "Loco Coco".  That is insultin' to a woman of high-caliber such as my fine pussycat self.  Another one that I will not even acknowledge is "Cuckoo Coco".  I will tinkle on the pillow of anyone that dares to call me such an insultin' name!

Hi to all you peoples on the innernet!  It's 'bout time I gots to write somethin' on this here blog.  My real name is Miss Elsie Fallulah Graves.  My friends and mommy call me "Fallulah".  I ain't got no nicknames - good nor bad.  I'm just Elsie Fallulah.  When I was borned, I only had me one nose hole and a big ol' honkin' tooth stickin' outta my mouth like a unicorn's horn.  Mommy gots my nose and my teeth fixed...I didn't need to git my bosoms fixed though...they is just fine...all 37 of 'em!  Hubba Hubba!

My name is Miss Elizabeth Taylor.  The nicknames I think are just fine are "Hotness", "Sweet Thang", "Sexpot", "Hubba Hubbaness"...you git my drift!   Sometimes I will answer to "Elizabiff Taylor"...not everyday...just on the days I feel like it.  But I'm tellin' you...do NOT call me just "Elizabeth"...my name is "Elizabeth Taylor"...you can't use one name without the other. 

Hi.  My name is Felix the Magical Cat.  That is my real name.  When mommy first meeted me, she was callin' me "Lord Leonard of the Land of Fancy Feast"...can you imagine???  I finally gots her to unnerstand that my name is Felix and to not EVER NEVER call me that Lord Leonard mess again!  My favoritist nickname is "Studly One".  And, all them little girls in the house call me "Mr. Big"...hubba hubba!  But, only the little girls can call me that...definitely NOT mommy!  Ewwww...

Hi.  My name is Fergie the Duchess of Huntsmoor.  I'mma beautiful redheaded girl.  Acceptable nicknames are Mrs. Fergie Fergison and Fergolicious.  It is not acceptable to EVER NEVER EVER to call me Ferg.  Felix and only Felix can call me "Miss Hot Thang"...Hubba Hubba!

Y'all all know me!  I'm Mr. Freddy Astaire Graves III!  I started out with Aunt Doktor Dugan and all them nice people that work with her callin' me "Sprout"...then mommy started callin' me Richie.  Well, none of them was right!  I'm Freddy!!!  An acceptable nickname is "Ready Freddy"...a not so acceptable nickname is "Mr. Stinky Stinkerson"...I can't help it if I have gots to pass gas!  Do NOT make fun of me 'cause of my signature scent!!!

Hello.  My name is Mr. Georgie Porgie Puddinandpie.  All my friends call me either Georgie or Georgie P.  My nickname is "little shy boy".  I don't like it.  No, I don't like it at all.  I am shy but I ain't little and I ain't a boy...I'm a man, dang it!  Oh, and by the way, when I kiss the girls, I don't make 'em cry!  I likes me some women and they like me, too!  Hubba Hubba!

This here is your Senator speakin'...Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III.  Nicknames I like are Mr. Senator, Senator, The Royal Elected One and Your Majesty.  Names I don't like is Hank, Hey You and Doofus...although, I will answer to ANYTHING you might want to call me.

Hi. My name is Jimmy Durante Graves III.   I gots my name 'cause I gots me a big nose.  Mommy says my name fits me PERFIKTLY.  My favorite nicknames is Jimmy-Jimmy, Jiminy Cricket and Jimmy Changas.  I absolutely HATE to be called "Mr. Tooty Tooterson"...I can't help if I gots to pass some gas every once in a while...Stop embarassin' me, mommy!

Hello to everyone on the innernets.  My name is Mrs. Lilly White.  I do not gots me a nickname.  There are no other acceptable names for me accept "Mrs. Lilly White".  Sometimes mommy calls me "Silly Lilly".  That is absolutely postividly not okay.  How dare anyone call me silly!  I am a proper lady.  Plus, you must ALWAYS call me by my full name...which is, of course, Mrs. Lilly White.

My name is Miss Mazie Grace.  I started life out as "Nellie".  See, I was/am blind and I keeped runnin' into walls and stuff.  My foster mom and dad had to keep sayin' "Whoa, Nellie" everytime I'd fall off of or walk into somethin'.  But, then I had my eyeball operation and now I can sorta kinda almost see.  So, my mommy named me Mazie Grace...cause I once was blind but now I can see...git it???  Amazing Grace???!!!  Please do not every ever NEVER call me Crazy Mazie.  I will scratch your eyes out if you do.

We is now taggin' the followin' wonnerful pusscats:

Kellie the Orange Cat
Bonnie Underfoot and Victor Tabbycat
Rocky from Artsy Catsy

The New Blankit

Hi.  This is Miss Elizabeth Taylor speakin' to all you peoples on the innernets.  Mommy went to the store and buyed a new blankit.  It is mine...all mine.  Ain't nobody else can lay on it, sniff it, rub up against it or tinkle on it.  It's mine mine mine mine MINE!  Now it ain't no magical blankit...I knows I gots to share that...but it's pink and swirly and cute and looks just perfikt with my HOTNESS!

Very truly yours,
Miss Elizabeth Taylor