Whiskers & Purrs

Mommy went and done somethin' stupids...

 

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Mademoiselle Coco Chanel speakin'.  All of us here in the Whiskers & Purrs House is very real aggrivateds with mommy.  She went and did somethin' real stupid last nights that completely screwed up our very important schedule.  It is just yet another exzample of how inconsiderables she is.

First she worked real late at her office.  How could she do that when she knows she has starvin' childrens at home?

Secondly, once she finally got home, she stopped and talked to the neighbors that had also just gotted home instead of instantly comin' insides to feed us!

And, finally, when she finally had enough sense to come in from the outsides, she put the key in the lock...turned it...and then THIS happened:

Can you beleaf that?  She went and broked the key off INSIDE the lock!  She just stood there...for like...EVER...starin' at the key thinkin'..."What in the world am I goin' to do?"

Well, she did have enough sense to go to the car and turn the heat on...and then she called AAA.  They not only unlock car doors but they unlock house locks, too.  Thank goodness they do 'cause we was well on our way to starvin' to death.  Can you beleaf that it was almost 8:30 pm before we got to eat our suppers...

It just goes to show you that good help is hard to finds.

Very truly yours,
Mademoiselle Coco Chanel

PS...we think maybe the Senator might just be a little bit betters...please keep sayin' prayers for him 'cause he's gots a long way to go before he is all betters.  He is still on his medicines and mommy is still havin' to syringe feed him.  But...last night he seemed to be a little less congested and actually played with a toy for a little whiles!

 

 

 

BREAKING NEWS: Virginia Senator arrested for domestic violence-related incident

RICHMOND, Virginia (Cat News Network) -- The Cat News Network has just confirmed that Virginia Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III (D-VA) has been arrested on assualt charges stemming from a domestic violence-related incident that occurred today in his primary residence, The Whiskers & Purrs House, located in Richmond, Virginia. 

Details of the incident are still being clarified.  It has been confirmed that the Senator's mommy, Mommy Jenny, had traveled home after a long week of moving her mom and dad into a new house far, far away.  While Mommy Jenny was checking her normally boring Facebook page, the Senator decided to sit down in the most coveted spot in the house - on the back of her desk chair.  At the same time, the Senator's baby sister, Mazie Grace, decided that she wanted to sit on the back of the desk chair, too.  Unfortunately, Mazie Grace is blind-as-a-bat and was not aware that the Senator had already called "dibs" on the spot. 

What happened next is still a bit sketchy but, we have confirmed that when Mazie Grace jumped onto the back of the chair, the Senator began barking like a seal, leading some to suspect nip intoxication.  Toxicology test results are currently pending.  After barking like a seal, the Senator began to swing his left front paw wildly.  Although he missed Mazie Grace by a mile, he nailed his mommy smack-dab in the ear.  All of his claws hooked onto Mommy Jenny's ear.  The Senator then began to pull his paw away which caused his mommy's ear to rip.  As you might imagine, Mommy Jenny cussed like a sailor as she realized that the Senator had almost ripped her ear off...(okay, the cussing like the sailor part is true.  The "almost ripped her ear off" part is for dramatic effect.)

Mommy Jenny took herself to the nearest Patient First clinic because she was afraid of infection and...it was bleeding like a son-of-a-gun and she wasn't sure if she needed stitches.  She has now returned home, stitchless but with antibiotics, and is resting comfortably.

The Senator is currently being detained in the spare bedroom until he learns his lesson.  No court date has been set.  The Cat News Network will keep you up to date on these rapidly changing events as we receive new information.  Stay tuned for more breaking news.

The hurty-back mystery is solved: Mommy's kidney is stoned.

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Mazie Grace speakin'.  Well, my in-your-face conversation with mommy yesterday worked!  I must really be one tough and powerful chick!  Mommy went to see the doctor after complainin' 'bout her hurty back for three of the longest weeks of my life.  Guess what???  Her kidney is stoned!  Gosh...mommy, why do you let your kidney smoke weed?

Mommy:  Mazie!!!  Honey, please be careful with what you say!  Mommy's kidney is not stoned...nobody is smoking weed...the doctor thinks I might have a kidney stone...big difference!  They don't know for sure but they think I might have little tiny stones in my kidney which is causing my hurty-back. 

Mazie Grace:  Mommy, why are you puttin' rocks in your kidney?  What's wrong with you?

Mommy:  Mazie, I didn't put them in there...they just sorta formed.

Mazie Grace:  I thoughted rocks were formed in prehistorical days, Mommy.  Are you really that old?

Mommy:  Well, Mazie Grace, there are days I feel prehistoric.  Maybe that's the problem.

And so, there you have it, dear peoples on the innernets, the mystery of mommy's hurty-back has been solved.  She is old and her kidney is stoned.

Very truly yours,
Mazie Grace

Too-Tired Tuesday

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Mazie Grace speakin'.  I am tired...V.E.R.Y. tired.  I am just weared out from worryin' 'bout mommy and her back.  It is still very hurty.  She has let this go on for three long weeks...just moanin' and groanin' and whinin'.  ENOUGH!  Mommy, go to the doctor or stop complainin' 'bout your hurty-ness. 

I'm too tired to listen to your complainin'.  Fix it or keep quiet.

Very truly yours,
Mazie Grace

Christmas Parade

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

Yesterday mommy was in the Richmond Christmas Parade with a lot of the peoples she works with.  She said it was very very cold but a lot of fun!  The company mommy works for supports the Meals on Wheels people in town.  They sponsor the MOW float. 

We think the float turned out very real pritty.

Mommy walked alongside the float so her co-workers could ride.  She taked lotsa cool pictures...like this one for Sauer's Flavorings Company sign:

And this one of a freaky clown that kinda gived mommy the creeps... 

  
Mommy and all her co-worker friends had a very good time!

This is what we did to celebrate the holiday season yesterday while mommy was out spreadin' joy and cheer...

We are hopin' that yesterday's big event will cause mommy to git in the Christmas spirit...we ain't holdin' our breaths, though!

Very truly yours,
The Whiskers & Purrs Gang

A message for mommy...

   

GO TO THE DANG DOCTOR FOR YOUR HURTY BACK NOW!

Very truly yours,
Your Chidren in the Whiskers & Purrs Gang

We are worried 'bout mommy's hurty back

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Fergie the Duchess of Huntsmoor speakin'.  Today our post will be short...mommy still has the hurty inside her back.  We must tend to her....on tops of all them other things we do for her!  We are worried because it is very important that she feels better so that she will be strong enough to open them Fancy Feast cans and scoop poops.

Also, we is gonna make her go see the Mommy Vet very real soon.  See, she is real good 'bout makin' us go see the vet when we is sick but...she really sucks when she needs to go see her vet.  That ain't right.  We is gonna look on the innernets to see if there's a carrier we could shove her in and take her ourselves.  Does anybody know if there is such a thing?

Very truly yours,
The Whiskers & Purrs Gang 

Mommy went and did somethin' stupid...

 
James Bond unnerneath the garden bench back in the summer

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Elsie Fallulah Graves speakin'.  Our mommy has screwed-up...screwed-up B.I.G.  Remember how we have been tellin' you 'bout "James Bond"?  James Bond is the kitty that showed up a couple of days after Felix went to heaven.  Mommy has been tryin' to rescue him.  He is very smart...and sneaky, too.  We is pritty sure that he was dumped...used to have a home but abandoned when his mommy and daddy moved away...(no offense but we think his former mommy and daddy are loser jerks!).  James is now completely freaked out 'cause he's on the streets alone.  Mommy has been feedin' him in the trap and finally got him to freely go in and out of the trap for supper. 

So...yesterday mornin' mommy set the trap.  I watched her from our bedroom window...she put the stinky food in the trap just like she has been doin' every day since August.  I waited and waited...and finally, James Bond showed up.  He went right inside the trap and...BANG...the door shut and he was inside!

Oh...you just can't imagine the joy and happiness we all feeled.  Mommy went runnin' outside to git James Bond.  He was SO mad...bangin' his head up against the trap.  Mommy tried to talk with him but he was not innerested in any conversation. 

Mommy went to pick up the trap...and...this is where mommy screwed up...B.I.G.  See, mommy buyed a trap when James showed up.  It is a collapsable trap and mommy had to put it together when she got it.  What mommy didn't realize is that she put the trap together WRONG!!!  So...when she went to pick up James Bond in the trap...the back end came off and within 'bout 5 seconds, James was outta the trap and gone.

I just couldn't believe my eyes...James was gone in an instant.  Mommy cried.  She feels awful and is so very worried.  She left the trap set out but it is not set.  She took the food out and set it in front in the hopes James would come back at some point to eat but he never did.  Before she goes to work today, mommy is gonna set out a whole big can of salmon...Mmmm...tastey...in the hopes that it will lure him back.  She's gonna give him a break from the trap and just set the food in front of it.

Oh, James Bond, we is so worried 'bout you.  Please know that mommy is just tryin' to help you.  Please, please PUH-LEEZ come back and at least eat some supper...'kay?  It just ain't gonna be right until you do.

Very truly yours,
Elsie Fallulah Graves

Mommy is leavin' us.

To all the peoples on the innernets, this is Fergie the Duchess of Huntsmoor speakin'.  Mommy don't think we know it yet but she's goin' to leave us for 3 WHOLE DAYS!  We are sad.  Who is gonna love on us?...and scratch our stuff...and give us Fancy Feast and Temptations?

We are sad and depressed.

Very truly yours,
Fergie the Duchess of Huntsmoor

Mazie Grace's Secret

Hi to all the peoples on the innernets.  This is Mazie Grace speakin'.  Yesterday we had lots of thunders and lightnings.  I was skeert.  Mommy picked me up and snuggled up with me.  While we was snugglin', mommy telled me somethin' real wonnerful.  She telled me to keep it a secret, so please don't tell nobody.

She said, "Mazie Grace, outta all the little girls in the whole world named Mazie Grace, you is the most beautiful and I love you more than any other Mazie Grace that has ever been."

People, this is B.I.G.  Why, that made me feel so warm and cozy in my insides, I wasn't skeert no more.  I curlt up on mommy's sewin' basket and dreamed 'bout how much I am loved.

Life. Is. Good.

Very truly yours,
Mazie Grace