With all the bad stuff goin' on in the world of food, we have been strongly "encouragin" mommy to not bring us Fancy Feasts...yes, that's right, we have been askin' mommy to NOT bring us anymore Fancy Feasts. Uh, hello...we ain't innerested in dyin' any time soon and since you humans can't git anything right, we just thought we would stand a better chance of stayin' alive if we didn't let ya'll fix us anything in the way of stinky foods to eat. So...we still need to eat somethin' delicious every day and the next best thing to delicious stinky canned food is...DEAD BIRDS, DEAD SQUIRRELS...uh, ya'll know how mommy feels 'bout that one...DEAD MOUSIES...I think you git our drift.
So...we have been instructin' mommy to go git us some birdies. She is pretty lame when it comes to killin' stuff so we told her to leave that part to us. All she has to do is go git us some birdies to eat for supper. So...yesterday she left the house to go to "work" and she had strict instructions to not bother comin' home if she didn't have us somethin' delicious in the way feathery, "chirpy" goodness. She got to her office and saw somebody in the parkin' lot bendin' down lookin' at somethin'...
Mommy said to herself, "Oh Lord, please don't let this be another cat...the police will come cart me away if I bring any more furry people into my house!" Luckily for mommy, it wasn't a cat...
She stopped and asked the man that was lookin' at "it" what "it" was...he said, "It's a parakeet!...Look at it!"
The nice man in the parkin' lot said "we've gotta help him...he's real hungry and probably cold. He must've got away from his human. What can we do?"
Well, now, the correct answer to that was "Oh, mister nice man, I can take him home and have my "kids" take care of him. He will be nice and warm (in their tummies)...(and tastey) and my kids will know exactly what to do with him."
But...did mommy use the correct answer...NO! She said "oh, I know somebody that can bring us a cage and some food right away. I will call her fast so we can save the little birdy." Mommy then called our Aunt Virginia to come save the little birdy, who, by the way, now has the name of Bobby the Birdy. Once they have names, forgit it...they ain't gonna be supper. So, Aunt Virginia came and bringed Bobby a cage and food. And, a very nice lady that works with Mommy said she'd like to have him for a pet! A PET!!! For pete's sake, people, there is cats a dyin' from bad cat food all over the country. Can't you cut us a break and give us a chance to live??? Here's a picture of Bobby sittin' on the nice lady's desk waitin' on her to take him to his new home:
Bobby the Birdy would've been SO tastey with a little bit of ketchup and cheese to dip him in! DANG! We missed another good chance to have REAL cat food. First it was Stanley the Squirrel and now this!
Mommy, it was good of you to stop to git the birdy but BAD of you to not bring him home for a snack. Are you ever gonna learn???