Whiskers & Purrs

We Need A New Roof???

To all you peoples on the innernets, this is Felix speakin'.  Well, I'm just 'bout as confused as I have ever been in my whole life.  Mommy has been real real sick this weekend.  We've been tryin' to help her out 'cause we must make sure she's strong 'nuff to open up them cans of Fancy Feast 2 times every single day.  Well, she just ain't a gittin' any better.  I just heard her cryin' on the phone to somebody sayin' she's got "shingles"...uh, mommy, please focus on gittin' better and stop worryin' 'bout the roof!!! 
Very truly yours,
Felix the Magical Cat

Mommy's Nurses

Hi.  This is Freddy speakin'.  Mommy ain't been feelin' so good.  She's had somethin' called a sinus headache.  I ain't sure what that is but it sure has made her awful cranky and sleepy.  Me and all my brothers and sisters have been takin' care of her.  Several of us have gots assigned jobs to see if we can help mommy feel better.  Here's some of the things we've been doin' to watch over mommy and try to make her happy:

I've gots the most important job of all...waitin' 'til she falls asleep and then givin' her kisses right on the lips and passin' gas in her face.  I know how much she loves it when I do that...I guess you could say it's my signature move...it makes her so happy!  I just hope it makes her mean ol' headache go away.

Mazie Grace, Jimmy and Buzzy know how much mommy loves to clean out the litter boxes so they all went #2 at the same time!  You shoulda seen how fast mommy got outta the bed to go clean them boxes!  It sure did make her happy!

And, of course, knowin' just how very much mommy likes to clean up stuff, Georgie made a big pile of steamin' vomit just after mommy got back in the bed after cleanin' up the #2 stuff.  Gosh, she sure did enjoy that, too!

We're just positive that mommy's gonna wake up feelin' lots better today!  But, if she don't, we're gonna be right here to watch over her!

Very truly yours,
Freddy Astaire Graves III

Sadness Comin' Out All Over The Place

  We is sad.  Mommy is gone.  We ain't sure if she's ever a comin' back.  At least we gots Aunt Sally to take care of us.  It just ain't right that we gots to be lonely all the time.  I mean, what with us be so full of goodness and sweet things...don't you think we deserves us something better than bein' all by ourselves with nobody to rub our tummies and scratch some stuff?

I'm so hurt...I'm a gonna go tinkle on somethin' to make myself feel better.

Very Truly Yours,
Mazie Grace

Lord Help Us!

<SIGH>...Mommy buyed a new camera...she is takin' pikchurs of EVERYTHING!  Talk about gittin' on our nerves...

Here's a pikchur of Fergie lookin' all full of cuteness and everything...
 

And here's a pikchur of Fergie takin' a bath.

Here's a picture of Mazie Grace a sayin'..."I didn't give you permission to take my pikchur.  Stop it!  I'm not talkin' to you..."

I told you...stop it!  I'm not a talkin' to you.  I is on strike!

And here's a pikchur of Lucy lookin' all cozy and delicious...

We hope she gits tired of this pikchur takin' thing soon...this is aggrivatin'.

Purrs & Kisses,
The Kids 

Poor Mommy

Hello.  This is Buzzy a speakin'.  Me an a bunch of my brothers and sisters decided to take a snoozy-kinda nap tonight.  It was really nice.  It was my big sister, Lucy, me, Mrs. Lilly White, Fergie the Duchess of Huntsmoor and Felix.  We was all cozy and makin' some snores when Mommy came in...she looked sad 'cause there was no room for her to snuggle up with us.  She had to sleep in the spare bedroom...how sad. I will miss her.  Oh well. Back to my snoozy-purry-nap!

Good Mommy/Bad Mommy

  With all the bad stuff goin' on in the world of food, we have been strongly "encouragin" mommy to not bring us Fancy Feasts...yes, that's right, we have been askin' mommy to NOT bring us anymore Fancy Feasts.  Uh, hello...we ain't innerested in dyin' any time soon and since you humans can't git anything right, we just thought we would stand a better chance of stayin' alive if we didn't let ya'll fix us anything in the way of stinky foods to eat.  So...we still need to eat somethin' delicious every day and the next best thing to delicious stinky canned food is...DEAD BIRDS, DEAD SQUIRRELS...uh, ya'll know how mommy feels 'bout that one...DEAD MOUSIES...I think you git our drift.

So...we have been instructin' mommy to go git us some birdies.  She is pretty lame when it comes to killin' stuff so we told her to leave that part to us. All she has to do is go git us some birdies to eat for supper.  So...yesterday she left the house to go to "work" and she had strict instructions to not bother comin' home if she didn't have us somethin' delicious in the way feathery, "chirpy" goodness. She got to her office and saw somebody in the parkin' lot bendin' down lookin' at somethin'...

Mommy said to herself, "Oh Lord, please don't let this be another cat...the police will come cart me away if I bring any more furry people into my house!"  Luckily for mommy, it wasn't a cat...

She stopped and asked the man that was lookin' at "it" what "it" was...he said, "It's a parakeet!...Look at it!"

The nice man in the parkin' lot said "we've gotta help him...he's real hungry and probably cold.  He must've got away from his human. What can we do?"

Well, now, the correct answer to that was "Oh, mister nice man, I can take him home and have my "kids" take care of him.  He will be nice and warm (in their tummies)...(and tastey) and my kids will know exactly what to do with him."

But...did mommy use the correct answer...NO!  She said "oh, I know somebody that can bring us a cage and some food right away.  I will call her fast so we can save the little birdy."  Mommy then called our Aunt Virginia to come save the little birdy, who, by the way, now has the name of Bobby the Birdy.  Once they have names, forgit it...they ain't gonna be supper.  So, Aunt Virginia came and bringed Bobby a cage and food.  And, a very nice lady that works with Mommy said she'd like to have him for a pet!  A PET!!!  For pete's sake, people, there is cats a dyin' from bad cat food all over the country.  Can't you cut us a break and give us a chance to live???  Here's a picture of Bobby sittin' on the nice lady's desk waitin' on her to take him to his new home:

Bobby the Birdy would've been SO tastey with a little bit of ketchup and cheese to dip him in!  DANG!  We missed another good chance to have REAL cat food.  First it was Stanley the Squirrel and now this!

Mommy, it was good of you to stop to git the birdy but BAD of you to not bring him home for a snack.  Are you ever gonna learn???

Mommy Does Not Suck.

We don't think mommy sucks.  We love her.  Stop sayin' bad things 'bout her.  She's the only mommy we have.  Who cleans up our poop and vomit?  Who gives us Fancy Feast?  Who skratches our stuff?  Who cries when we is sick? Who doesn't git mad when we make mistakes in the floor?

You cats is the ones that suck, not mommy.

Very truly yours,

Buzzy & Mazie

Mommy Sucks!

We have some very bad news and it's ALL mommy's fault.  See, Stanley the Squirrel went inside the trap last night.  She told us he was gonna be fine and would go to the park to live today.  So, we was happy for him.  But...this mornin' when we was eatin' our breakfast and doin' some meditatin' and lickin' some stuff before we all lined up to take our turn poopin' in the box, we heard a loud BANG and then somebody squeakin'.  Then...it just got real real REAL quiet.  We knowed that somethin' bad was a happenin.

Well, when mommy leaved the house to go to work to earn money so she could buy us Fancy Feast and nip, she saw what had happened...Stanley had a brother named Earl...Earl the Squirrel...and mommy had secretly, without our permission, had the evil squirrel trapper-guy to put out a 2nd trap that was like a gigantic mousie trap.  So Earl the Squirrel decided to come into the attic after a night of hard partyin' and chasin' girl squirrels...and...you can figure out the rest...Earl was hangin' by his neck off the side of the house just like ol' Saddam the Squirrel.

Now mommy put up a good act...pretendin' that she was upset and all.  She called the squirrel trappin-guy and fussed at him.  She told him to come git his trap, shove it where the sun don't shine, git off of our property and never ever ever come back again but...I really think it was just an act.  She is mean.  At least Stanley has moved to the park.  But, poor Earl the Squirrel is now in Squirrel Heaven all because mommy is evil.

We is gonna have a moment of silence tomorrow mornin' at 7:37 AM.  That's the exact time that mommy had Earl the Squirrel 'sassinated.  We will have coverage of the moment of silence tomorrow live on CNN...the Cat News Network.

An innocent life was taken, all because mommy SUCKS!

Mommy LOVES US...She REALLY REALLY Loves US!!!

This morning somethin' wunnerful happened!  We was able to talk with a human and she unnerstood us and we unnerstood her!  Her name is Dawn.  This picture is one of her lovin' on a Llama!!!  She is an angel on the earth.  You really really really need to visit her web site!  Here's her web address: http://www.dawnallen.org/  She's got real nice pictures of all kinds of animals on it!  We partikularly like May and Nikita...they is pretty pretty pretty!  Mommy says that Angel Dawn is just like Dr. Doolittle!!!

See, this mornin' mommy told us that we might have an angel start talkin' with us.  And don't you know, all of a sudden, we started hearin' an angel's voice talkin' to us!  She wasn't here in the house with us, but we could hear her talkin'...kinda weird!  First she started askin' Lucy how she felt.  Lucy told her pretty good but it hurt sometimes to breathe.  Then, the angel told Lucy how very much mommy loved her.  And then, the angel talked to Felix and asked him some questions.  He told her that he loved mommy a lot.  The angel asked him if he had ever had a home before and he told her no.  He had always been on his own until he met mommy.  He 'splained that when he was a baby, he had been real real sick...somethin' to do with his breathin'...mommy thinks he probably had a real bad upper respiratory 'fection or somethin' like it.  He also had somethin' wrong with his ears that still sorta bothers him...somethin' like scar tissue in his ears that still hurts.  But, the angel told mommy that Felix is real happy and loves her LOTS! 

Before you know it, the angel started talkin' to Henry...now this is funny...the angel told mommy that "Henry wasn't very bright"...LOL!!!  That's what we've been sayin' all along!!!  Next thing we knowed, the angel was talkin' to Mazie Grace.  She asked Mazie how her eyes were feelin'.  Mazie 'splained to her that she could see better than she could before but she really couldn't see outta her right eye and the left eye was like lookin' outta pin hole. 

Oh, an one thing we forgot...the angel also talked with Ricky.  He said to tell mommy that he was still with us and unnerstood why mommy let all of us move into HIS house.  He also said mommy will never EVER find another cuddler like him.  That's funny 'cause them's the very words mommy has said before!

And, at the end of it all, the Angel said that mommy really really really loves ALL of us...no matter what!  Dang...that's BIG!  She really loves us and is happy we are her kids!

Now mommy says she knows there is people that will say she is nutso crazy...out there...looney tunes.  But, we don't care 'cause we believe!  :-)  And, there's a certain part of our 'natomy that people that make fun of mommy and us can kiss!  Ain't nobody's business but ours. 

We hope the angel knows how much we liked her!  And, we hope the angel will talk with us again...it was nice to have somebody unnerstand what we was sayin'! 

Thank you, Angel Dawn.  You is very special!!!

Purrs & Headbutts!

   

A Message From Mommy

Dearest Little Ones,

I'm at work today and not having much fun.  On days like this, the only thing that keeps me going is knowing that I have 11 little noses to kiss when I get home.  I've been reading your blog with much admiration and interest...you certainly are an expressive bunch of intellectual kitties!  I am so thankful for each of you...you teach me something knew every day...

Lucy, my sweet Goosey Lucy!  I love your cranky "MEOW's" and wonderful headbutts.  You really are my very best friend in the whole wide world!  You've been with me for a long time and I cannot remember what it was like to not have you to come home to at the end of the day.  You nearly went to heaven to be with Ricky last year.  Honey, I'm so glad you stayed with me.  I would be so lost without you.  Thank you so much for being my sweet girl!

Elsie, I love your determination...when you first came to me, you weighed only 11 ounces.  So tiny and starving yet determined to live.  You've grown up to be such a beautiful young lady...and oh so very smart and sassy!  I love you and your boogers!  :-)

Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III, I love every single thing about you...your sweet face and poofy cheeks, your manly little swagger when you walk, the way you serenade me when I "serve" you your most favorite supper - AD, your creativeness in leaving me little "masterpieces" in very special places around the house...such as the bathtub drain, the glorious headbutts you give me in the middle of the night and how sweet you are with all of the other kids in the house.

Felix, my very special boy, you are such a wonderful gift to me.  And you showed up just as my poor little Ricky was so sick and on his way to heaven.  I just know that somehow he sent you to take care of me.  You were so skinny and tired when you came to live with us.  I will never forget how you could eat more food than any other living being I had ever seen!  11 cans of Fancy Feast in one single day!!!  You take care of all the other little ones in the house...they all adore you just the way I do.  And, you take care of me, too!  I can't tell you how much I absolutely love it when you walk on my sore back.  It helps me feel much better everytime!  You're so good to all of us.  I love you so very much!

Fergie, you are such a beautiful and sweet little girl!  I never will forget the first time I saw you!  Those big eyes and loud purr told me that you were mine!  I love all the little "Fergie noises" you make and how gentle you are with the other kitties in the house.  You are such a good girl and I love you very much!

Mrs. Lilly White, you are oh so beautiful.  I've never met such a proper and sweet young lady!  I've become addicted your "night-night" kisses and warm headbutts when I wake up in the morning.  You've taught me so much about being polite and nice to everyone...even those I don't like!

Mademoiselle Coco Chanel, you are gorgeous and sweet and very, very shy.  I just know that one day you are going to let me pick you up and give you kisses!  I know it's kind of scary to let go and trust Mommy when she wants to pick you up...but I promise, I will never ever let anything bad happen to you.  I just want you to be happy and know how much I love you!

Georgie Porgie Puddinandpie, you are a very special yellow boy!  You know, I have a very special place in my heart for yellow boys.  You are so shy and sweet...I love it when you come to me and let me rub your tummy.  Your soft purrs and gentle headbutts make my heart melt!

Miss Elizabeth Taylor...talk about beauty!  WOW!!!  As my Grandpa Spencer would say, you are a WOW WOW!  You are wise and sweet...you make mommy's day when you stand on your hind legs and give me a sweet "meow"...asking me to pick you up.  Your cuddles and purrs make me so happy!!!  I love you very much!

Mazie Grace, you have completely won my heart.  Now the first week that you lived with me, I have to tell you, was a total nightmare!  I had a hard time loving you because you were such a little ball of claws, hisses and bites!  But, once you realized that all the kids in my house just wanted to be your friend and I just wanted to give you Fancy Feast, you became the sweet little girl that you are now!  I love love love your gentle taps on my big ol' butt while I'm fixing your supper.  And, I can hardly wait for your sweet licks on my face when I lay down at night.  I'm so happy you adopted me!

Buzzie, my sweet little buzzie...you have a very special place in my heart!  Your shyness breaks my heart.  I love when you finally give in and let me hold you and scratch your ears!  I would give anything to help you understand that I will always watch over you and never let any harm come your way.  You are safe now, sweet one, so please know that mommy loves you and just wants you to always have a full belly and a warm place to sleep and purr!

Ricky, my sweetest angel cat, Ricky.   Honey, I hope you somehow know how much I miss you every day.  Oh how I hated to let you go.  But your tummy hurt so bad, I just couldn't let you suffer.  I would give everything I have in this world just to be able to hold you and hear you purr again.  I know you are still with me, sweetheart, I feel you everyday.  Please never leave me and know that you will always be my sweet Ricky-Cat.  I love you!

I love you all...and couldn't manage to get up in the mornings without you.

Lots of love and headbutts,

Mommy