Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III Has A Hissy Fit

This here is Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III speakin'.  I is mad.  Real. Mad.  I have had 'nuff of the abuse and neglect that I git every single day of my life.  Tonight, I needed to take a tinkle.  Now there ain't nothin' wrong with takin' a tinkle when you gotta go. Everybody does it.  Somebody please sue me 'cause I just happened to be on the big bed when I knowed I had to go.  So I very quietly scratched on the bedspread and then let 'er rip.  Shoot me 'cause mother nature called and I listened right where I was.  I GOT YELLED AT TONIGHT BY MY MEAN HURTFUL MOMMY.  So she had to wash the sheets, the bedspread, the pillow and the big fantastical magical blanket...is that gonna kill her???  I had to tinkle, dang it!  Mommy don't  deserve to have such a sopissticated man such as myself to call her little boy.  My feelin's is hurt and I ain't a gonna talk to mommy again ever, never, ever.

Very truly yours,
Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III