Whiskers & Purrs

Dear Jesus, Part 2

Dear Jesus,

This is Mazie Grace a speakin'.  Again, I'm pretty sure you already know that with you bein' Jesus and all.  I just wanted to thank you for not lettin' me die on the operatin' table today.  I'm still breathin' but, boy, oh boy, do I ever have me a headache!

I'm all woozy and stuff.  I can't seem to git my legs to go in the direck shun my eyes is a lookin'.  Mommy says that won't last for much longer. 

I'm really hungry but I just can't sit still long enoughs to eat...here's a picture of me snarfin' up some deliciousness...mommy says I look like I'm a makin' a big steamin' pile of vomit...silly mommy...this is what a person looks like after their mommy has half-starved them to death over night.

I just have one question for ya, Jesus...why did Dr. Blair put this fugly bonnet on me???  I mean, really, Jesus, this thing is awful. 

It has been a rough day...Mommy & Dr. Blair say it will be all worff it.  I hope they knows what they is talkin' 'bout...I really do 'cause I'm the one with the busted-up eyeballs and lampshade on my head.

Help me out, Jesus...I need a break.

Very truly yours,

Mazie Grace 

Dear Jesus...

Dear Jesus,

This is Mazie Grace a speakin'...'course you know that already 'cause you is Jesus.  I am skeerd...REAL skeerd.  I gots to have my eyeball operation today.  I don't unnerstand why I gots to go through this.  Why do I have to go to the hospital?  Why do my eyes have to be all funky and everythang?  It just ain't right.

Please let this be over real soon, 'kay?  I miss Buzzy and mommy both. Plus, I'm real hungry...mommy was mean and taked all my suppers away after midnight. 

Today is just not a good day.

Very truly yours,

Mazie Grace

A Real Busy Saturday Mornin'

Hi.  This Georgie Porgie Puddinandpie a speakin'.  We is REAL busy today.  You can tell by the serious look on our faces.  We don't have time for foolishness. 

Elizabeth, you is goofin' off...we got stuff to do...STOP IT!

Just 'cause you is pretty don't mean you can goof off...we gots a whole house to patrol and protect.  Plus, we got all kinds of bugs and squirrels and chipmunks to git rid of and you gotta do your part.  Bein' pretty don't mean nothin'....DID YOU HEEAAARRR ME???

<SIGH>...Findin' good help is real hard these days...

Busy Buzzy!

I is very busy doin' some TOP SECRET stuff.  Please do not disturb me unless you is bringin' one of the followin':

1.  Fresh Nips
2.  Fresh Fancy Feast
3.  A Butt Scratchin'
4.  Good Old Fashioned Back Rubs

Very truly yours,

Buzzy Graves IV

Sammy The Squirrel

DANG!!!  Check out Sammy the Squirrel showin' us his junk!  Good Grief, Sammy!  This site is rated PG!!!  If you click on the picture, you'll get a close up shot of Sammy's stuff...of course, that would mean you are a pervert...but, whatever makes you happy...I guess.

A Message From Fergie & Mazie Grace

Hi.  This is Fergie & Mazie Grace a speakin'.  We is not happy. 

First, a message from Fergie, the Duchess of Huntsmoor:

Mommy did somethin' awful to me yesterday.  She shoved me into a box and taked me far far away to The Evil Awful Place.  When we gots to The Evil Awful Place my Aunt Dr. Dugan was there.  I thoughts to myself, "Whew!  At least Aunt Dr. Dugan won't let anything bad happen and maybe she'll rescue me from my incompetent mommy."  Well...comes to find out, Aunt Dr. Dugan runs The Evil Awful Place.  And, what's worser is that Aunt Dr. Dugan did an Evil Awful Thing to me and MOMMY PAID HER TO DO IT! 

See...my buttocks have been real sore and itchy.  So Aunt Dr. Dugan put some gloves on and sticked her finger into my you-know-what and squeezed some stuff.  IT HURT BAD, PEOPLE!  Plus...I was real embarrassed.  I mean, I just couldn't believe that I was at The Evil Awful Place gettin' The Evil Awful Thing done to me and MY MONEY was bein' spent to have it done.  Plus, Aunt Dr. Dugan told mommy that I am F-A-T!  She said I had gained a whole pound in 6 months...well EXCUSE me!  Have you EVER heard of such awfulness!!!  Aunt Dr. Dugan keeped apologizin' for it.  She said that it was for my own good and that my buttocks would feel lots better.  Okay, so 24-hours later, I would have to say that she's right...my buttocks feel better but my feelin's is hurt - plus...I ain't F-A-T!  I is a big-boned woman.  That just ain't no way to treat a refined and sopissticated lady like me and I ain't never ever gonna forgit it.
Very truly yours,
Fergie, The Duchess of Huntsmoor

And now, a message from Mazie Grace:

I is skeered.  I gots to have me an operation next Thursday.  Mommy taked me to see Unkle Dr. Blair yesterday.  He said he just wanted to do a check-up on my eyes since he operated to take my cataracts off a year ago...I know that it was really just that he wanted to see ME...he's got the hots for me and wants to kiss me right on the lips.  His pet name for me is "Peanut"...TeeHee!  Womens know these things, ya know?  I mean, he can say he just wants to look at my eyes but I know he's just been itchin' to love on me...and honestly, who wouldn't want to love all over me and kiss me on the lips? 

Anyways, back to the story...once Unkle Dr. Blair got over seein' my beauty and innate foxiness, he did look at my eyes.  He said he didn't think I could see out of my right funky eye.  He said I have somethin' called an "adhesion" and that he could fix it...again, I really think he just wants me to come see him again...but whatever.  He said he would operate on my eyes and then I'd be able to see real good.  So, mommy and me talked about it and we agreed that she would take me back on Thursday, June 28.  I'll spend the whole day with Unkle Dr. Blair and then mommy will come pick me up and we'll go home and I'll be able to see. 

I'm a little skeered, though, cause mommy won't be able to be with me when Unkle Dr. Blair is cuttin' my eyeballs open.  But, she says that he will give me some fun drugs to make me feel all woozy and I'll go to the sleepy place and dream while it's all a goin' on.  She says before I knows it, she'll be back to take me back home with all of my brothers and sisters. 

So everybody on the innernets please think of me on Thursday mornin' and say lots of prayers to the big cat in the sky that I will be okay and also that Unkle Dr. Blair will be able to contain himself and not go completely nutso over my beauty and innate foxiness.
Very truly yours,
Mazie Grace

ZZZZZZzzzz

DO NOT DISTURB!

Bein' hot can wear a girl out.  I gots to take me a nap.

Very truly yours,

Fergie, The Duchess of Huntsmoor

Mazie Grace, Her Tongue and One Very Funky Eyeball...

 

Hi.  This is Mazie Grace a speakin'.  I is busy.  Do not disturb me.  There's some serious lickin' goin' on.

Very truly yours,
Mazie Grace

Super Cute!

Hi.  It's just me, Georgie Porgie Puddinandpie.  Just wanted to remind all of ya'll that I'm cute...SUPER cute.  Mommy says that I have me some bedroom eyes...EWWWW... mommy's ain't supposed to talk to their kids like that.  I feel like I need a bath now...GROSS!

Very truly yours,

Georgie P. Puddinandpie

Does She Walk, Does She Talk...My Fergie Is A Centerfold!