BREAKING NEWS: Elizabeth Taylor Issues a Statement

Dear Peoples on the Innernets,

This is Miss Elizabeth Taylor speakin'.  Yesterday I was throwed into jail for absolutely no reason.  I was accused of doin' somethin' that I didn't do.  Yes, I know mommy sawed me stickin' my fingernails right into Mazie Grace, but it was Mazie's fault, not mine.  It ain't my fault that she gits on my nerves and makes me want to beat the livin' bejeezuz outta her.

I was throwed into the spare bedroom all by myself.  I didn't have nobody to kiss me or lick the insides of my ears.  I didn't have nobody tellin' me how beeyooteeful I am.  I was abandoned wiff only a bowl of crunchies and a poop box.  I only had a comfy bed and soft-cozy-comfy chair to sleep on...not my usual blankies and pillows.  This is cruel and unusual punishment for a gorgeous woman such as myself.  I just ain't used to these kinds of horrible conditions. 

Mommy said I had to tell Mazie Grace that I was sorry for bein' mean to her.  I think she oughta haff to tell me she's sorry for makin' me wanna strangle her.  It's all her fault.  Mommy says I sound like OJ.  I don't know what that means but I do know that I am just too beeyooteeful and wonnerful to haff to sit in jail.

Very truly yours,
Miss Elizabeth Taylor

Comments

[Karen Jo]

Now, Miss Elizabeth Taylor, you know perfectly well that you should be nice to Mazie Grace and not stick your fingernails in her. You will just have to stay locked up until you change your attitude.

[Faz the Cat]

Cat prison - how scary. I didn't know they existed! I think I better be good from now on. FAZ

[Parker]

Locked in solitary! Yikes, you poor baby! I think that being nice to Mazie might be the way to get out of jail!

[TT&TOT; Gang]

Miss Elizabeth Taylor, we thinks you should say you is sorry right now even if you don't mean it so you can get out of jail! We has had to learn to keep our claws to ourselves no matter how much we drive each other crazy!

[Mickey]

Miss Elizabeth Taylor,the Fact is you did it. Mom's do not care if it was justified or not.Besides, sticking nails in somecat is not the answer.You need to learn how to voice your displeasure.You need to apologize to Mazie Grace then you can be free :)
Purrs Mickey

[Sammy and Miles Meezer]

oh Miss Elizabeth Taylor, Maizie Grace can't help the way she is, just like Sammy can't help it that I want to smack him every time I see him. well, most of the time. - Miles

[Zippy, Sadie & Speedy]

Hmph, sisfurs is a pain in da butt~Zippy
Now now, yoo know dat sticking yoor fingernails into yoor sisfur was da wrong thing to do. Yoo know what dey say "don't do da crime if yoo can't do da time". Da best thing to do is to walk away, remember, yoo are a lady not some rassler!

[Daisy]

Just say you are sorry real quick and get it over with. Then you can be free!

[Samantha & Tigger]

Poor Miss Elizabeth Taylor!! Unfortunately, the only way out of the prison is to be nice and say you are sorry!! You have to be nice to your sister Mazie Grace.
Your FL furiends,

[Hendrix]

wow, this is when I'm glad I'm an only kitty! you got put in solitary by yourself! mommy said when she and her brother fought, they both got sent to their rooms. i think if mazie was annoying you, she too should have to go into solitary.
if you apologize (even if you don't mean it) and bat your lashes and cock your head like you're sad and sorry, you may get a "truce" snack from your mommy...

[Tybalt]

Oh, Miss Elizabeth Taylor . . . that sounds dreadful! Sometimes a kitty just has to swallow his or her pride and apologize, so that the punishment will end. Be brave, Miss Elizabeth, and apologize to Mazie Grace (whether she deserves it or not) and then you will be freed from your prison. Purrrs!

[HRH Yao-Lin]

Dearest Elizabeth,

When I read yesterday's news, I just knew that you had done nothing wrong. There are always two sides to every story and I think that you were judged guilty before you had a chance to speak.

I suggest hiring a top notch lawer and having the human and the other cat thrown in jail as punishment.

x

[Sultanfus and Guy]

Kitty prison sounds awful. You have to make sure you do your attacks when no one is watching then you can't get in trouble. Thats what I do.he he.

[Sophia]

Oh dear... that's not good.

[Eric and Flynn]

Well Miss Elizabeth Taylor, the best fing you can do is apologise to Maizie Grace and hope that it is accepted so you can be let out of purrizen again. It's not nice to attack yer sisfurr. We tried to visit you yesterday, but we kept getting a page of adverts up when we clicked the link.It's ok today though.