To all my friends on the innernets. This is Felix speakin'. Well, let's just say things ain't goin' so hot. I am still in the hospital. The peoples here are nice...'cept for them awful things they are doin' to me. Let me just say right now that I unnerstand what an enema is...Enemas ain't your friend no matter what the vetroregurgitarian says. They is so bad that I can't even write 'bout it on this here blog. I ain't never poo'd so much in my whole life. I'm startin' to wonner just how much poo I really have in my insides?!? This just ain't normal, y'all. I mean, it's just the terriblest thing I have ever heard of and it's happenin' me to me about eleventy three times a day! And, what's worse is that mommy is payin' 'em to do it to me!
Speakin' of mommy...after she leaved me here this mornin', she had the nerve to come visit. I figured if I played my cards right, she might take me home....so...when I saw her ...I jumped up on her lap and gived her kisses and started droolin' on her. I mean, hey, I'll suck up if it means I git to go home to my womens. Then I started makin' bread on her lap...that always gits her...
Then, I jumped up on her shoulder and started tellin' 'bout them awful things they is doin' to me here...
Do you know what she said? "I know it's awful, little man, but it's for the best...we've gotta find out what's wrong with your pooper." In other words...sorry, Jack, you ain't comin' home tonight!
Well, I'll show you, I ain't gonna talk to you no more tonight, Mommy. That's it. You is outta my will. I'm done with you. I am gonna pee on your pillow if I EVER git outta this place. Hmph...I bet Aunt Doktor Davies would just LOVE to have me as her little boy...you just wait...I'm gonna show you...
I am sad...'cause I just wanna go home.
Please say a prayer for me.
Very truly yours,
Felix
