An Offer Of Help For Britney Spears
Hello. This is Mrs. Lilly White speakin'. First of all, I want you all to be aware that I am still very very VERY beautiful and also very much a lady...ain't nothin' changed in that department.
Secondly, I want to say that I am sick and tired of hearin' 'bout Britney...or as Perez would say "Unfitney". She just ain't no lady and it is a waste of my ladylike time to have to see her without her undies (GASP!), gittin' nekid on TV (SOB!) and doin' all them other unladylike things.
In a tribute to the wonderosity that is ME, I want to extend an offer of help and guidance to Britney. I am willin' to counsel her on the followin':
- The art of wearin' panties
- How to not look like a skank
- How to enjoy nip without lookin' like a ho
- How to speak like a lady and not use the "ding dang y'all" phrase
- How to dress right and cover up all your privates
I know she talked to Dr. Phil yesterday...uh, excuse me, what on EARTH does he know 'bout anything...he ain't even a real doktor! If Britney wants some REAL help and is innerested and willin' to git down to work, I will be here for her. She can contact me at Mrs. Lilly White
Very truly yours,
Mrs. Lilly White
I heart you Miss Lilly!
Also please also let her know about these things as well.
Ladies do not smack gum all the time.
Telling he those fugly boots must go. There is so much nice footwear out there.
That you cannot condemn the Paparazzi, when you let them know where you are going to be, and then sleep with members of it.
It is not lady like to be so jealous of all the attention your baby sister is getting and go and pull a stunt to get the media focus be put back on you.
Posted by: Jeanine | January 06, 2008 at 01:13 PM
Dad calls her "skankobitchney" and now her 16 year old sisfur is pregnant. And der mom was set to publish a book on parenting? More like a book on how not to parent.
Posted by: Zippy, Sadie & Speedy | January 06, 2008 at 01:53 PM
Dear Miss Lilly, we've tagged you to participate in the "7 Weird Things About Me" meme so everykitty can learn more about you! Come read about it in our post today on our blog!
Rocky
& everykitty at Artsy Catsy
Posted by: Artsy Catsy | January 06, 2008 at 03:21 PM
Mrs. Lilly White,you are so right. We are all so tired of hearing about that sad, sad person. I'm sure you could help her out a lot, though. I hope she gets in touch with you, you'd be much more help than that TV doctor.
Posted by: Buddy & Frankie's person | January 06, 2008 at 11:43 PM
Miss Lilly White, we think you would be a lot of help to her. And the Mom is writing a book! Pooey on her!
Your FL furiends,
Posted by: Samantha & Tigger | January 07, 2008 at 12:01 AM