A Pawlitikal Statement From Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III
To all the peoples on the innernets,
This here is Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III. With all the talk on CNN 'bout the carcasses in Iowa yesterday, I just thinked that maybe I should clear up all the confusion.
I ain't sure why all of this is goin' on. There just ain't no reason for everybody to be thinkin' 'bout votin' for Hillary, Obama, Juicianni, or Hickupaby. I'm the dang man for the job, y'all. Here's why:
- I'll make sure there's access to FREE NIP for every single Feline American.
- We will put an end to homelessness...it takes a Village, but we'll find homes for every puss cat in America.
- Fancy Feast will be free.
- Mommy's will go to jail if they don't give you good ear skratchin's and belly rubs every day.
- The sun will shine every day so we can all nap in a sun beam for at least 23 hours each day.
- Everybody will be encouraged to think outsida the box...I've been doin' that my whole life...you'd be surprised at how good it will make you feel 'bout yourself. Shoot...you might even be able to be a Senator one day yourself 'cause of it!
- Tinklin' on your mommy's pillow will NOT be a crime.
- Tinklin' on your mommy's favoritest chair will NOT be a crime.
- Poopin' in the floor right in front of company that don't have cats and don't unnerstand the "thinkin' outsida the box" concept will NOT be a crime.
- All vetroregugitarians will be required to learn to speak "Cat" just like Aunt Doktor Dugan does.
So, there y'all go. 10 reasons you just gotta vote for me, Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III. I'm the man for the job. The world will be a perfikt place once I'm moved on up from just a Senator to President.
Very truly yours,
Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves, III
I like your platform!
Posted by: Parker | January 04, 2008 at 06:25 AM
Sounds like a good list of reasons to be purresident to us.
Posted by: Beau Beau & Angie | January 04, 2008 at 07:51 AM
That sounds like a candidate for me!
Posted by: Tybalt | January 04, 2008 at 11:25 AM
Senator Graves, you've got our 15 votes! Maybe you should just think outsida the box and overthrow the current administration and replace it with your fine catministration before some other scary human is in charge of us! Maybe then our humans would stop staring at those TV carcasses and pay attention to us!
Rocky
Posted by: Artsy Catsy | January 04, 2008 at 12:36 PM
Well put, senator.
Posted by: Daisy the Curly Cat | January 04, 2008 at 01:17 PM
What a convincin speech! Didja know Chey, Cato, and Skittles are purring for purresident too? Whichefur of you is lected, the rest should get to play in the cabinet.
Posted by: Victor Tabbycat | January 04, 2008 at 02:50 PM
I'd vote fur yas.
Posted by: Egypt (a.k.a. Egee Peege) | January 04, 2008 at 11:10 PM
G'day
Well we can't vote for you 'cos we live in Australia, but we sure like some of your ideas. Free nip and free food - you just can't go wrong with great ideas like those!
Purrs & Headbutts
Gypsy & Tasha
Posted by: Gypsy & Tasha | January 05, 2008 at 02:15 AM
Mine mommie is laffin an she wants to vote fur a cat fur purrsie-dent instead of a skeery hooman.
ur's platform seems furry sound, it actshully addresses tha reely impawtant stuff. we's didn't heer any of tha hoomans at tha carcasses talk about poop boxes or ear skratchings or Fancy Feast. But one fing, Senator, what is ur's stand on Temptashuns????
Purrs, KC
Posted by: KC | January 05, 2008 at 03:02 AM
Those are 10 very good reasons to vote for your Senator Henry! Good job.
Your FL furiends,
Posted by: Samantha & Tigger | January 06, 2008 at 01:54 AM