Mazie Grace's Rules of the Road
Dearest peoples on the innernets,
This is Mazie Grace speakin'. As y'all knows, I am a very special girl. I gots a lot of things goin' against me...I am what is called "blind as a bat". But even though I gots some struggles, I gits around pritty good and am a very real happy girl. With that said, I gots some rules that I make mommy live by. I thought I would share them with you in case any of you might wanna adopt them.
Rule #1
If mommy is walkin' down the stairs, I must stop whatevers I'm doin' and run as fast as I can down the steps. I MUST git to the bottom before she does. The world WILL end if she gits there before me. If it means I have to run unnerneath her feets, between feets or even on tops of her feets AND...even if she falls down the steps in the process, I must git to the bottom before she does.
Rule #2
I like to jump. Jump on things, over things, under things and even just in the middle of the air...I just like to jump. Sometimes I like to jump up on the counter next to the sink when mommy is washin' the dishes so I can supervise. A few times when I have jumped, I have missed the counter 'cause I can't really see it and I jump right into the sink full of soapy water and dishes. The rule is that mommy MUST stop what she is doin' and wrap me up in a towel and tell me how sorry she is. See, it's her fault I missed the counter 'cause if she wasn't washin' the dishes, I wouldn't need to supervise.
Rule #3
Every night 'bout 9 o'clock, I MUST take a nap on mommy's lap. Don't matter what she's doin', I gots to be on her lap sleepin'. Like Rule #1, the world WILL end if I ain't doin' this at 9:00 pm. If she's "nittin'", readin', surfin' the innernets, or anything else, she must stop. I jump up on her lap and fall sound asleep. She is not allowed to disturb me for any reason...and I do mean NO REASON. She must go to the bathroom before 9:00 pm. She is not allowed to go once I am asleeps.
Rule #4
I prefer to drink my waters outta the spigot. I would prefer she would leave the water runnin' all day every day, but she refuses. It is a real problem. I don't like to drink waters outta the bowl. Every time mommy goes to brush her teeths, wash her face or take a bath, I run and start drinkin' the waters as they are pourin' outta the thing. Why can't she leave the water runnin' for me all the time? I think mommy is unreasonable on this Rule.
Rule #5
Mommy is never allowed to sneeze, cough or blow her nose. Them are noises that disturb me. Any time she makes any of them noises, I fuss at her. I meow very loudly and make sure that I give her some chatterin', too. Mommy can be very rude.
That is all of my rules for now. I am sure I will be addin' to 'em. I will be sure to share any new rules as I make 'em up.
Very truly yours,
Mazie Grace
Mazie Grace
Those are fabulous roolz and I fink yoo r absoolootely rite to keep yur Mommy to each and efurry one of dem roolz...
purrs,
Posted by: abby | October 15, 2008 at 12:59 PM
Dat is good rules, we hafta keep dem beans in line. Just think of all da bad stuff dat could happen if yoo din't haf dem rules!
Posted by: Zippy, Sadie & Speedy | October 15, 2008 at 01:17 PM
Mazie Grace, you are very smart to put your rules in writing and publish them. This way, your mom will have no excuse for breaking any rule. Ever!
Posted by: Daisy | October 15, 2008 at 01:37 PM
those are purrfekly akseptable rules Maize Grace.
Posted by: The Meezers | October 15, 2008 at 01:45 PM
Those are some good rules. We practice rules nos. 1-3. We'll have to try no. 4. As for no. 5, sneezing and coughing doesn't bother us too much...
Posted by: The Island Cats | October 15, 2008 at 02:00 PM
You certainly do have a number of rules. I hope that means you are keeping your people in line!
Posted by: Cheysuli | October 15, 2008 at 02:08 PM
Those are excellent rules, Mazie Grace :-) I am especially glad that you make your Mommy adhere to Rules 1 and 3. I would hate for the world to end.
Posted by: Sunnys Mommy | October 15, 2008 at 02:29 PM
haha Miss Mazie Grace Them iz some very serious rules.And even funniers is that it sounds like your Momma follows them.. how do you make her do that???
I do not think you should run under your Mommas feets while walking down the stairs, this might not be very good fro your Momma and hence not good for you!!
But I must admit I like to make sure I iz always walking in front of my Momma when we is walking down the hall :)
V-V
Posted by: Vampy Vic | October 15, 2008 at 05:15 PM
Mazie Grace, we think Rule #2 is especially impawtant, because we know getting wet is horrible! We would not want to jump into a soapy wet sink full of dirty dishes, ever!
Posted by: Gandalf and Grayson | October 15, 2008 at 05:35 PM
Oh my dear, I do believe we have some of those same rules here as well! Maybe you kitties need to print them out and post them somewhere in the house so we humoms and hudads can remember them! ;o)
Posted by: Whimpurr | October 15, 2008 at 09:32 PM
Mazie Grace, You are truly amazing! Those are good sensible rules. If your mom makes you fall in a sinkful of soapy water, it is her duty to stop everything and apologize. Same goes, if she gets in your way and falls downstairs. Before she is carried out on a stretcher, she must apologize. Keep her in line.
Posted by: Jan's funny farm | October 15, 2008 at 10:14 PM
I drinks water from the tap too, so mum has to leave the one in the bath dribbling all the time. I chatter at her too when she coughs, but only at the wee clear the thoat before the big cough cough.
I likes to run past her and jumps on the bed when she is least expecting it.
Smooches to you Miss Maizie Grace.
Posted by: Poppy Q | October 16, 2008 at 07:03 AM