« February 2011 | Main | April 2011 »
Dearest peoples on the innernets,
This is Miss Elizabeth Taylor speakin'. I am sad to report the beautiful womans I am named after went to heaven today. I am sads. She was a beauty on the insides and the outsides. We will miss her.
Very truly yours,
Miss Elizabeth Taylor
| | | |
|
Dearest peoples on the innernets,
This is Elsie Fallulah Graves speakin' and today is Top Cat Tuesday. Peoples...I'm a little bit embarrassamicated. I had to break the news to mommy that I am havin' another Unfortunate Tushy Incident. I don't feel so goods. My tushy is all reds and sore and swoled ups. It hurts to walk, sit or lay downs. Mommy is takin' me to the V E T this mornin'. I am sads.
Please say a prayer for me.
Very truly yours,
Miss Elsie Fallulah Graves
| | | |
|
Dearest peoples on the innernets,
This here is Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III a speakin'...it's now time for Meet the Senator Sunday. Peoples, I'm mads...just 'bout as mads as I have ever been in my whole entire lifes. I'm mads 'bout this here ignoramus:
Mr. Malomar Gatoffee
First of alls, dude, have you ever thought 'bout maybe takin' a bath and cleanin' up a little bits? Did your mommy not teach you anything 'bout groomin' your stuff?
Secondly, YOU SUCK. There comes a time when us politicians need to be able to admit that it's time to go. And, dude, IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO GO...go FAR AWAYS.
Thirdly, I'm really disgusterated that we gots to take time to focus on YOUR DUMB BEHIND when we need to be focusin' all of our eneriges on them poor people in Japans. YOU SUCK. YOU SUCK. YOU SUCK! GO AWAY NOW!
And, finallys, have you ever noticed how much you look like this guy...
Yeah, you two looks just alikes...you know...kinda like you just crawled out from unnerneath a flat rock or somethin'...I tell you what, Mr. Malomar Gatoffee...you better high-tail it outs of LibbieYa right nows 'cause we is comin' for you...and we is gonna open up a big ol' can of whoop-ass all over you.
So...maybe you can go join Mr. Osama bin Laden and you two can become roomies in a deep dark cave somewheres...right where you belongs...unnerneath a big ol' rock where only the creepy crawlies lives.
You is a big ol' creep, Mr. Malomar Gatoffee.
Very truly yours,
Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III
PS...YOU SUCK!
| | | |
|
Dearest peoples on the innernets,
This is Fergie the Duchess of Huntsmoor speakin'. I'm tireds...real tireds. It has been a very real busy week...what with all the birthday celebrations and the bangin' noises comin' from what used to be our kitchen...I'm just weareded outs. I am gonna make sleeps all day on Saturday. I might not even git ups to eat!...Well...that might be takin' it just a little too fars. But...I'm gonna snooze and nap and make dreams as much as I can today and I encourage all the peoples on the innernets to do the same thing!...Well...except for our beans that need to be fixin' our suppers and givin' us massajes and tummy rubs and stuff.
Hope you all have a snoozy weekend!
Very truly yours,
Fergie the Duchess of Huntsmoor
| | | |
|
RICHMOND, Virginia (Cat News Network) -- The Cat News Network (CNN) has just received breaking news that Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III (D-VA) has actually used the litterbox instead of taking a whizz on the floor. An unnamed source inside the Whiskers & Purrs House told CNN "Dang...I've lived here since December and I ain't never seen Henry use the litter box. He usually just let's 'er rip wherever he is and mommy hasta come clean it up. Dang...this has me a little spooked! Maybe the world is gonna end...I'm skeert!"
Local papparrazzi caught Graves in the litter box around 3:45 pm. Upon realizing he was being photographed, the Senator high-tailed it out of the box as fast as he could.
Graves has a long history of battling his mommy regarding litterbox issues. Stating that he prefers to "do my thinkin' outsida the box", Graves has found very creative avenues to express himself: mommy's pillow, mommy's clothes, the water bowl, the bottom of the stairs, smack-dab in front of the door, etc.
Today's development in the bathroom habits of the Senator could signal a change in his policy and possibly a switch in parties. CNN will keep you up to date on these rapidly changing events as we receive new information. Stay tuned for more breaking news.
| | | |
|
Dearest peoples on the innernets,
This is Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III speakin' and...TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY! WOOHOO! Because I am such a high-powered and inflewinchal Senator, I'm gonna declare that everybody on the innernets will join me in gittin' their partay on and fire up Peaches & Herb and shake their groove thangs all day longs!
And, while you're at it, sniff some nips, eat some Fancy Feets & Temptations and have your beans scratch your stuff. It's gonna be a wild day on the innernets as we celebrate the wonnerful birth of ME!
Have a rockin' good time and partay like the rockstars you are!
Very truly yours,
Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III
| | | |
|
Dearest peoples on the innernets,
This is Mazie Grace speakin' and...TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!!! WooHoo!!! Everybody is invited to come the Whiskers & Purrs House to eat Temptations, Fancy Feets, drink Tuna Juice Tini's and sniff some serious nips!
Bein' 5 years old is GREAT! Come help me git my par-tay on!
Very truly yours,
Mazie Grace
PS...guess who has a big gigantical birthday TOMORROW in the Whiskers & Purrs House!?!?
| | | |
|
Dearest peoples on the innernets,
This is Mazie Grace speakin' and today is Mazie Monday! Peoples...I only gots one thing to say...there's only TWO MORE DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY! Woo Hoo! I can hardly waits! I git to spend the WHOLE day with all of my adopterated babies...Little Joey, Buddy and Holly! Plus, I git to eats all the tunas, Temptations and Fancy Feets that I wants! And...mommy is gonna be availables to scratch and rub everything I gots! I am SO exciteds!
Now, don't let all this excitements cause you to forgits that on Mazie Monday, your beans have to stop what they is doin' when you walk into the room and hum "Hail to the Chief".
Very truly yours,
Mazie Grace
| | | |
|
Dearest Lucy & Ricky,
Another year has passed and today is your birthday...18 years ago today, you was borned. You both have been up in heaven for what feels like a long long time but all of us and mommy think 'bout you all the time. Even those of us that never meeted you knows all 'bout your wonnerfulness and what brave little soldiers you was. We know you still watch over us and make sure that we is all okays. We just want you to know how special we all think you is....you did a very good job at gittin' mommy trained. Today we want to remember your very special birthday and we want you to know that we all miss you. So, Lucy & Ricky, this is all for you. We post your story every year on your birthday...we want everybody on the innernets to know how wonnerful and special you was and how much you are still loved today.
Love,
The Whiskers & Purrs Gang
It was March 1993. The winter had been hard and she knew she needed to find shelter soon. It was almost time for her babies to come. She had gone several days without food and her belly ached from hunger. But she knew that she didn't have much time so she searched day and night for the right spot...a place where they would be warm and safe. Food could wait one more day. The sky had been gray all week...no sunshine to warm her tired body...then it started to snow. It snowed hard...sometimes so hard that she couldn't see her way ahead but she kept moving...kept searching for just the right spot.
After days of roaming, she finally found it...it was a boat that had been covered with a bright blue tarp for the winter. She struggled so hard...it took all of her strength to tear it off but she did it...found a little spot where she could crawl under the tarp. And, finally, after a very long journey she rested.
Within just a matter of hours, they came...four beautiful kittens. They nursed and she bathed them but she was so tired and cold. The babies slept, unaware of how tired their mommy was...unaware of how much danger was ahead. She struggled to keep warm but finally she just had no more strength. She passed quietly while the babies slept. Now they were all alone.
He was inside wondering when the snow would ever stop. It was very strange for that much snow to hit Richmond...especially in March. The tulips and daffodils were already in bloom but buried under more than 7 inches of snow. As he looked out the window, he noticed the tarp from his prized boat had blown partially off. Must've been that blasted storm. So, he suited up and headed out to check on it and put the tarp safely back on.
At first he thought it was birds chirping. Could birds have gotten underneath the tarp? As he lifted the tarp, he saw her. She was laying on her side. He thought she was just sleeping but when he touched her, he realized she was long gone. Within a split second he understood that the sound he had heard was not birds...it was two of the smallest kittens he had ever seen screaming at the top of their tiny lungs. He quickly took them and rushed them into the barn where it was warm and dry. Once they were settled, he realized he had to tend to their mommy. So, he gently lifted her and the two other babies out of the boat. "Poor little things," he thought, "they never had a chance in this storm."
And that was the beginning for Lucy Margarite and Ricky Eugene Graves. Once the storm subsided, the old farmer called the Humane Society and they gladly took the two little babies in and promised to find a home for them...six weeks later they became my very best friends.
Happy Birthday my sweet angel cats. I miss you both so much. Today, just like every March 13th for the past 18 years, I am going to celebrate all that you taught me every day we were all together. Please keep watching over us all. I love and miss you.
Love,
Mommy
| | | |
|
Dearest peoples on the innernets,
This is Mazie Grace speakin'...mommy sneaked and taked this picture of Buddy & Holly. I sure do loves them and I am so prouds. Me and mommy was talkin'...this picture reminds her of this song...
I hope you all have a wonnerful Saturday. Please be sure to say some prayers for them poor peoples and poor animals in Japan.
Very truly yours,
Mazie Grace
| | | |
|
