Dearest peoples on the innernets,
This is Miss Elsie Fallulah Graves speakin'. Today is Top Cat Tuesday...I'm the Top Cat so...it's my turn to talk. Today I want to address the mean evil gossipy roomers that have been on the innernets 'bout me.
Yesterday, Mazie Grace made a few statements 'bout some things she says she saw...I would like to remind you of a couple of things:
- I didn't give him no headbutts and purrs...I didn't do it, didn't do it, DIDN'T DO IT!
- Mazie Grace is still blind as a bat...how could she see anything? She had her most recent eyeball operation back in May. It worked for a little while but now she is back to walkin' into stuff...how could she see me givin' anybody head butts...that's assumin' that I did?
- Gossipin' and spreadin' roomers is bad bad bad!
- Little Joey is just tryin' to be cuter than me and get all of the attention...I do not like him...even though he is kinda cute and can be so sweet that I want to kiss him....OOPS! I did not mean to say that...strike that! It was off the record!
- I am not a marshmellow on the insides...I am a tough chick inside and out.
- It's my job as Top Cat to keep all the little squirts in line...sometimes I gots to hiss and bop people in the head...it's the only way they will learn how to be good little cats like me.
- I am sure there is other things I can say in my own defense but I just can't think of 'em right now...
Just remember...you can't always believe all the stuff you read on the innernets or see on TV...remember the whole Balloon Boy incident??? That was all a big hoax and so is this.
I am very upset right now. I am gonna go make myself feel better by drownin' my sorrow in Fancy Feast and Crunchies.
Very truly yours,
Miss Elsie Fallulah Graves
Top Cat
