Whiskers & Purrs

The Dark Side of Miss Elizabeth Taylor

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Miss Elizabeth Taylor speakin'.  I do not like Mazie Grace.  She gits on my nerves.  She actually thinks it's okay for her to sleep on MY bed...uh, I mean, mommy's bed.  AND what's worser is that she thinks it's okay to try to snuggle up with MY big sister, Elsie.  Elsie and me snuggle all the time...she is mine, mine, MINE!  Mazie is not allowed to snuggle and git close to MY ELSIE!  Git away, snotty little girl!  I will stick my fingernails in you if you git any closerer...I am gonna turn my lasers on you and vaporize you off the planet...that will teach YOU a lesson 'bout innerlopin' in my territory!

Very truly yours,
Miss Elizabeth Taylor

Miss Elizabeth Taylor Lasers

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Miss Elizabeth Taylor speakin'.  Mommy had been workin' in the yard.  It was gittin' darks so I decided to help her out by turnin' on my lasers.  See...I am not always a mean girl...I can be nice when I want some Temptations...uh...I mean, when I want to.

Very truly yours,
Miss Elizabeth Taylor

Wordless Wednesday

 
Miss Elizabeth Taylor havin' her way with Georgie Porgie Puddinanpie

It just ain't easy bein' me...

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Miss Elizabeth Taylor speakin'.  Ya know...it just ain't easy bein' me, what with me bein' so beautifuls and all.  I mean I gots to git up in the mornin'...be beautifuls and then I gots to keep bein' beautiful the whole dang day long.  It's just very drainin'.  So...today I'm gonna take it easy and git my beauty rests.

Very truly yours,
Miss Elizabeth Taylor

Lady Clairol

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Miss Elizabeth Taylor speakin'.  I think I'm gonna bleach my hair blonde and change my name to Marilyn.  I'm tired of bein' Miss Elizabeth Taylor.  They say that blondes have more fun...and that's what I'm all 'bout...havin' fun.

I just need to git mommy to buy me some Lady Clairol hair color...and then let the good times roll!

Very truly yours,
Miss Elizabeth Taylor

Miss Elizabeth Taylor is butt-ugly on the inside.

Miss Elizabeth Taylor...
pritty on the outside, butt-ugly on the inside

Hi.  This is all of us speakin'.  Uh...everybody is layin' kinda low tonight...mommy is very extra cranky.  See...Elizabeth Taylor has been extra mean to Mazie Grace tonight.  She has spended the whole night stickin' her fingernails into Mazie.  Mommy has fussed at her and fussed at her.  She cut all of Elizabeth's fingernails off... but she is still pickin' on Mazie.  Mommy said the next time she tried to hurt Mazie, Elizabeth was gonna go into a time out inside the cat carrier...

Elizabeth Taylor, you gots to stop bein' mean to Mazie Grace.  There just ain't no reason for you to be so awful to her.  She is blind and your pickin' on her lets everybody see that you might be real purty on the outside but you is butt-ugly on the inside.  STOP IT.  You run the risk of bein' kicked outta the Whiskers & Purrs Gang if you keep it up.  We is all gonna take up for Mazie Grace and beat the livin' bejeezuz outta you if you keep this meanness up.  We ain't gonna play nice with you no more.  STOP IT.  STOP IT.  STOP IT!

Very truly yours,
The Whiskers & Purrs Gang

It's all right there in black and white...

Miss Elizabeth Taylor and Miss Elsie Fallulah Graves share a snuggle.

 

Miss Pouty Poutterson

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Miss Elizabeth Taylor speakin'.  I would like to say that my feelin's have been hurt.  I ain't been gittin' no attention from anybody this week.  I am beautiful and deserve better treatment than this. 

Very truly yours,

Elizabeth Taylor Toes on Tuesday

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

Even my toes are beautiful.  It's just SO good to be me!

Very truly yours,
Miss Elizabeth Taylor

Rest In Peace, Sweet Prince

Dearest friends on the innernets,

This is Elizabeth Taylor speakin'.  Last night, my dear friend, Paul Newman, went to heaven.  He was a very good guy.  We liked him very much in our house.  He made real good movies.  Mommy likes his salad dressin' a lot.  Plus, we like his cat food...MMmmmm...tastey!  It don't have no corn or wheat in it.  Aunt Doktor Dugan says them is bad things for kitties...so...Paul Newman made sure they wasn't in the crunchies he made for us kitties.

Watch over us all from heaven, Paul. 

Very truly yours,
Elizabeth Taylor