Whiskers & Purrs

A message from Jimmy Durante Graves III

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Jimmy Durante Graves III speakin'.  I just wanted to take a minute and tell everybody on the innernets somethin' real big...real big and importants...tonight me and mommy was kissin'.  It was a real nice kissin' and lovin' session.  While we was kissin' and she was scratchin' my ears and my tush, she told me somethin' big...I mean to tell you REAL big...

She said "Jimmy Durante Graves III, you are so sweet that if you git any sweeterer, the whole world is gonna have to have insulin just to be able to be 'round you!"  Now listen...I ain't so sure what insulin is but I know if the whole world is gonna need it, this must be B.I.G!...

Gosh...I sure hope I don't git to be any sweeter...

Very truly yours,
Jimmy Durante Graves III

Top Cat Tuesday

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Elsie Fallulah Graves speakin'.  Since I am now the Top Cat for the Whiskers & Purrs Gang, I have decided that it is very important for me to address my peoples at least weekly.  So, from now ons, we are gonna have Top Cat Tuesday as my forum for me to git my message out and lead my peoples.

On this first Top Cat Tuesday, I just wanted to say that I am personally gittin' tired of the that little mommy-hoggin' monkey named Little Joey Cartwright Graves III.  As y'all knows, mommy rescued this little squirt when he was only 2 weeks old.  He is now almost 6 weeks old...in the 4 weeks he has been here, he has successfully stealed mommy away from us.  All she does is talk 'bout how cute he is and oh, did he eat enough and oh, is Joey lonely? 

Mommy, on behalfs of all the Whiskers & Purrs Gang, just remember he AIN'T stayin' with us.  He has gots a forever home with our neighbors and will be movin' real real SOON.  You need to think 'bout the fact that your favorite little Joey will be gone and then you will be in a house full of cats that are all mad at you 'cause you have ignored us for a whole dang month...

Don't burn no bridges, mommy...remember who has been with you the longest...or you is gonna pay a big bad penalty.  Snap out of your infatuation with the little mommy-hoggin' monkey and pay some attention to US!  I hate to have to be all mean and everything but...as the Top Cat, it's my job to look after my peoples.

Very truly yours,
Elsie Fallulah Graves
Top Cat for the Whiskers & Purrs Gang

Mazie Monday!

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Mazie Grace speakin'. Today is Mazie Monday!  You know, with all the bad news we is all hearin' every single day, I'm startin' to git a little bit depressed.  There just don't seem to be much to look forward to what with all the mean and bad things that are happenin'.

So...I have decided with today's Mazie Monday, I would share a little love and happiness with all of the peoples on the innernets.  See, there's lotsa love in the Whiskers & Purrs House.  Me and my brothers and sisters are tight...they are my homey's.  Me and Freddie particularly love each others lots.  We kiss every time we git a chance. 

I know this is a Monday and all...mommy says that Monday's pretty much suck.  I think if you take a minute and watch this here video, it just might help you git through a sucky Monday and maybe even smile a little bits!

Remember, since it's Mazie Monday, if you're a cat your beans have to stop what they is doin' when you walk into a room and hum "Hail to the Chief".

I hope all of y'all have a wonnerful Mazie Monday!

Very truly yours,
Mazie Grace

Meet the Senator Sunday...what in the world is goin' on in South Carolina?

 
The Senator is Aggrivated!

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III speakin'.  Today is Sunday...and we all knows that means it's time for Meet the Senator Sunday...FINALLY!!!  It has been weeks and weeks and weeks since I have been able to post anything.  That would be because my mommy sucks.  But, she's helpin' me today so at least I gots that!

There's somethin' on my mind that I just have to write 'bout.   I'm very aggrivated and mad 'bout somethin'.  See, the other night, President Obama gived a speech.  Durin' that speech, South Carolina Congressman Joe Wilson got all redneckified and yelled out "You lie!" at the President.  Now seriously, Mr. Wilson, was that really necessary?  Did screechin' out at the top of your lungs like that make you feel all important and smart and stuff?  Did you not know that you would make yourself and the peoples you represent look like a bunch of hayseed country bumpkins? 

Mr. Wilson, you has gots to git your emotions unner controls.  Take me, for examples.  I may not agree with everything my mommy does or says or thinks.  But...I don't just start screamin' at the top of my lungs in front of millions of peoples.  I communicate in many other ways.  Let's say that her policy is to leave us for a whole dang week to go to San Francrisco for work.  I do not agree with that policy.  She says she is workin' but I KNOW FOR SURE she was havin' some funs, too.  There was definitely some fibbin' goin' ons.  My way of communicatin' my displeasure and disagreement with her policy was to pee on stuff.  It was fine that she leaved us...while she was away, every square inch of the house was peed on...by me.  Trust me, Mr. Wilson, when she returned, she gotted the message and unnerstood the error in her ways.  Mr. Wilson, you must learn to more effectively communicate like I do...gittin' all red in the face and screamin' at the most powerful man on the planet ain't exactly what I would call smart.

I just feel so bad for all them peoples in South Carolina.  Today's Boston Herald says it all...the headline from one of their articles is "Why Blame Joe Wilson...His home state is just south of civilized"...Mr. Wilson, you is bringin' all kinds of embarassment to your peoples.  How much more can they take?  First the governor has problems keepin' his pants on with a woman named Miss Argen Tina and now their Congressman has a problem keepin' his mouth shut.  What on earth is next from South Carolina?  I git skeert just thinkin' 'bout it.   You politicians in South Carolina need to make a note to remind yourselfs...PANTS ON, MOUTH SHUT!

That is all I gots to say for this week's "Meet the Senator Sunday".  Stay tuned to your TV 'cause I feel sure that within just a few more days, somethin' else ennertainin' will happen in South Carolina.

Very truly yours,
Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III

We have a mean ol' mommy!

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Georgie Porgie Puddinandpie speakin'.  Well, mommy is finally home after bein' away for a long long LONG time.  She promises she ain't goin' no where else for a whiles.  I don't know...I ain't buyin' it.  She leaves us all the time and then when she's here, she's in the livin' room with baby Joey!  I agree with Elsie Fallulah...Little Joey is a mommy hoggin' monkey.  I want him to go far aways.

Since today is Saturday, I'mma gonna celebrate by kissin' me some womens, sleepin' in the sunshine and maybe, just maybe, watchin' mommy work in the front yard.  I think I am still mad at her for leavin' us so much...not sure I'm gonna be willin' to make her feel good 'bout havin' me soopervisin' her from the window.  I think I'm gonna ignore her...just like she ignores us.  Mean ol' mommy!

Very truly yours,
Georgie Porgie Puddinandpie

Good News!

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is all of us speakin'.  Guess what?  We gots good news the other day!  Last week when mommy was in San Francrisco, she gotted a call from the rescue group that taked Eddie the Dog for us.  Eddie the Dog was adopted by a wonnerful elderly couple!!!  The man told mommy that Eddie was already bein' spoiled rotten!!!  Ain't that wonnerful news?

We are so proud 'cause in the past month, we have founded homes for Thelma Louise Graves, Eddie the Dog and Little Joey Cartwright Graves III.  We are very thankful that everything has worked out for these little furry ones!

Now we have to be honest...we did not care for Eddie 'cause we all knowed he wanted to eat us for a snack.  BUT...that was just the way mother nature made him.  He was a real good doglet and mommy falled in love with him real hard.  She is so thankful for that wonnerful couple that adopted Eddie. 

Eddie, we do not miss you but mommy sure does...just know that we would've gived you a home with lotsa love if we could have.  But...you are in doglet paradise.  Live long and stay well, sweet boy.

Very truly yours,
The Whiskers & Purrs Gang

A Buddin' Romance?

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Mademoiselle Coco Chanel speakin'.  Yesterday I kissed Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III on the lips.  I did not have my mouth open, though.  I am too much of a lady to do that kind of stuff...yet. 

I'm feelin' a little shy and embarrassed 'bout it today...I have snuggled with the Senator before but I ain't never kissed him smack-dab on the lips or nothin'.  I wonder when I'll see him again?  Wonder if he'll call me today?  What if he starts kissin' Miss Elizabeth Taylor or some other womans?  Now I'm all nervous and stressed out!  I ain't never gonna kiss me any boys again!

Very truly yours,
Mademoiselle Coco Chanel

The Senator prepares for Fall

 

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III speakin'.  I am very real excited that it is almost time for Fall!  It is my most favoritest time of the year!  To help everybody start gittin' into the spirit, I thoughted I would put on my favorite Fall outfit and hopefully cheer everybody up after a long hot summer!  (Not to mention that I become a real chick magnet when I put on one of my fancy outfits!  Hubba Hubba!)  Before we knows it, it will be time for Halloweens, Thanksgivin' and the big-daddy of 'em all...time for Santa Claws to come visit!  I've already started makin' my list of presents I want from Mr. Claws...Lord knows I have beened a very good boy...this Christmas should be a very real good one!

I hope everybody has a very good Wednesday and that you ain't too distracted by my Fall Cheeriness!

Very truly yours,
Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III

Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III likes little tiny nipple-topped bottles

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III speakin'.  It has been a very very VERY long time since I have been able to post anything...for a long time, I was a little skeert 'bout postin' anything...what with me bein' showed on National TV bein' 'toxicated on the nips and all.  And then, it was showed again on National TV this past Saturday night.  Can't you dang papparazzi leave a brother alone?   I am a little embarrassed but I have decided that I ain't done nothin' wrongs...I wasn't drivin' a car or nothin' and I wasn't sharin' my nips with any little kids...I was enjoyin' a nip party in the privacy of my own home.  What is wrong with that?

I wanted to let ya'll know that not only has mommy been neglectfuls of us and our bloggy, but...she also has been abusive in other ways.  She bringed Little Joey Cartwright back into the house (gag me) and has been dotin' on him left and right.  She was fixin' his suppers when I realized that he gits his supper out of a little bottle with a nipple on it.  I just happen to love me little bottles with nipples on 'em.  So, when mommy wasn't lookin', I jumped up on the counter and put the nipple in my mouth and runned off with the bottle!!!  Oh, it made mommy mad mad MAD!  She started chasin' me through the house...the faster she runned, the faster I runned with the nipple-topped bottle in my mouth!  It was very real excitin'!  And then, well dear peoples, the rest was very dramaticals and mean...mommy yelled at me.  I mean to tell you, she yelled at me like she ain't never yelled befores.  I was heart broked.  She grabbed the bottle with the nipple outta my mouth and fussed at me...big times. 

I ain't never been yelled at like that befores.  I am so hurt.  I looked at her with my big green eyes and then just walked away with my head down...devastated.  I ain't sure but I think maybe I might need me some therapy after that tramatical experience.  At a bare minimums, I will need to pee on some stuff for at least the next month.

Mommy, the only message I gots for you is that maybe you should start payin' a little bit of attention to the rest of us, too...we know Joey needs a lot of help (dang ol' mommy hog) but we still need you, too.  And we don't need you yellin' at us, either!  You could make it up to me by fixin' me my very own nipple-topped bottle with that warm and tasty supper in it...Mmmmmmm...I might be able to forgive you then.

Until then, I ain't speakin' to you or that little snotty baby.

Very truly yours,
Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III

Mazie Monday!

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

It's me, Mazie Grace speakin' and...today is Mazie Monday!  I'm wonnerin' if anybody is still out there...it has been SO very long since we have been able post anything on our bloggy.  Don't even git me started 'bout how aggrivated all of us are 'bout that!  Mommy had a big long trip to San Francrisco for her job.  She was gone all of last week and then had to go to her mom and dad's house over the weekend 'cause her mom is very real sick.  So...that leaved no time for us.  I ain't never feeled so neglected in my whole life!

I am happy to report that today I received an award!!!  See, mommy bringed home the little ugly mommy hog...you know, the one named "Little Joey Cartwright Graves III"...He is now 4 weeks old and weighs one pound and 2 ounces!  Mommy brought him to me and, while she was holdin' him, I had the funniest feelin' hit the insides of my tummy...I just wanted to give him a bath!  I wanted to give him a head butt, too.  And, I wanted to snuggle him a little bit.  So...I DID!  Mommy wouldn't let me bathe his very extra special private places but she did let me wash his ears, his throat, the back of his head and his tummy.  Mommy said that I was a very good girl and that she was givin' me the "BEST LITTLE GIRL IN THE WHISKERS & PURRS HOUSE AWARD" for today!!!   I am very real prouds! 

Mommy said that Elsie Fallulah Graves would git honorable mention 'cause she gived Little Joey two gigantical head butts.  Elsie was a bottle baby once...she knows what Little Joey is goin' through.  She's a very good girl but...not as good as me today!

Of course, I almost gotted into some troubles...after I gived Little Joey a bath, he started snoopin' 'round my stuff and wanted to suck on one of my bosoms!  I was a little aggrivated with that so I gave him a whap on the head...without my claws just a big BOP to tell him "No means No, little kid!"

And so, dear innernet friends, that's today's Mazie Monday.  We is gonna try to make sure mommy helps us with the bloggy the rest of this week. 

I hope you all have a wonnerful Mazie Monday!

Very truly yours,
Mazie Grace