Dearest peoples on the innernets,
This is Mazie Grace speakin'. Today is Mazie Monday! I am very worried this mornin'...sweet little Thelma Louise went to have her operation this today so she won't have no more babies...and...well...I am sad to report that sweet Thelma Louise is already gonna have babies right now. Mommy talked with the vetroregurgitarian and they agreed that Thelma's babies will probably go to heaven instead of bein' borned. We are sorry, sweet Thelma Louise...we know you is a good mommy but there are so many homeless animals that need homes. The lovin' thing to do is to let them go to heaven. We wish we lived in a world where every little person had a home with someone to love them and no abuse...but...that just ain't the case.
Everybody, please say a prayer for our sweet girl. We are so relieved that mommy could snatch her off the street. We just want her to be okay. We are gonna give her lots of loves and do everything within our power to make sure she has the best life evers...'cause she deserves only the very very best.
Very truly yours,
Mazie Grace
