Whiskers & Purrs

A message from Thelma Louise

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

Hi.  My name is Thelma Louise.  There was some confusion 'bout my name...mommy Jenny thoughted my name might be Betty but I set her straight on that right away.  I am Thelma.  Thelma Louise.  Mommy Jenny tricked me today.  She is in West Virginia visitin' her family.  Her mommy is very very sick.  I have been showin' up every day there and mommy Jenny's dad has been feedin' me for several months.  This mornin' it was pourin' the rain and I was soakin' wet.  I went to eat and before I knowed it, mommy Jenny had scooped me up and put me in a carrier.  That made me very mads and very very skeert.

I went to the vet and...well...I got all kinds of tests runned on me and they squeezed just 'bout everything I got...includin' some stuff I don't think they should've been squeezin'.  I'm pretty sure they drained out all of my bloods.  It made me very mads.  They will git the test results on Saturday mornin'.  I also gotted all of my shots.  I'm spendin' the night in the vet's office and tomorrow mommy Jenny will pick me up.  We will spend the night and travel on Sunday to Virginia where the Whiskers & Purrs Gang live.  On Monday, mommy Jenny says I will have me a operation.  Aunt Doktor Dugan is gonna fix it so I can do IT with boys and not have to worry 'bout makin' babies.  That sounds WONNERFULS!  I've already had me a couple of litters of babies...I'm tired of that mess!

We don't think I'll be livin' in the Whiskers & Purrs House forevers.  Mommy Jenny is gonna try to help find me a wonnerful home.  Until that happens, though, mommy Jenny will "foster" me and make sure I gots everything I could ever need and want...includin' kisses, tummy rubs and somethin' called "Temptations"...I ain't never had me none of them things...I hope they are as good as everybody says.  I'm very thankfuls to have a safe place to sleep...I am so very tired of sleepin' in bushes and weeds and always havin' to look over my shoulder outta fear. 

I hope that all of you nice peoples on the innernets will be my friend and say prayers that I find me a very real nice home soons.

Very truly yours,
Thelma Louise

Rumor has it...

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is all of us speakin'...today we are very upsetted.  There are lotsa rumors swirlin' 'round on the innernets that mommy rescued not only:

Thelma Louise

but also a dreaded D - O - G! 

Here is the D - O - G's picture:
 

We ain't been able to confirm the dog part of this story...we have no idea what mommy intends to do with the D - O - G if she did, indeed, rescue him.  So...stay tuned...check back here for the official confirmation as to whether the D - O - G is coming back home with mommy.  Mommy will be fired from her job at the Whiskers & Purrs House if she brings the D - O - G.

Very truly yours,
The very upsetted Whiskers & Purrs Gang

Fergie needs some advice...

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Fergie the Duchess speakin'.  I am tryin' to git my beauty sleeps but mommy has the TV on and the lights all on...she is makin' lotsa noises and takin' my picture with the bright light thing flashin' in my eyeballs....just add this to the list of abuse and neglect we all go through in the Whiskers & Purrs House.  It just ain't right....when will we ever git her trained?  What do other kitties do to git their mommy's to treat them right?  Please let me know.

Very truly yours,
Duchess Fergie

Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III returns from Tahiti

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III speakin'.  Dang...am I ever tireds!  I just got back from my big ol' vacation in Tahiti...WHEW!  Let me tell you...gittin' your freak on can really wear a person out!  I will post more 'bout my big 'venture in Tahiti with all them Tahiti babes later this week.  In the meantime...I gots to git some rest so I can git back to Senatatin'.  After watchin' the news, I can tell that just a few days of me bein' away has led to chaos in Washington.  I gots me lots of work to head to git everything back in good shapes.

I'm gonna go take me a big ol' nap!

Very truly yours,
Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III

The Dark Side of Miss Elizabeth Taylor

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Miss Elizabeth Taylor speakin'.  I do not like Mazie Grace.  She gits on my nerves.  She actually thinks it's okay for her to sleep on MY bed...uh, I mean, mommy's bed.  AND what's worser is that she thinks it's okay to try to snuggle up with MY big sister, Elsie.  Elsie and me snuggle all the time...she is mine, mine, MINE!  Mazie is not allowed to snuggle and git close to MY ELSIE!  Git away, snotty little girl!  I will stick my fingernails in you if you git any closerer...I am gonna turn my lasers on you and vaporize you off the planet...that will teach YOU a lesson 'bout innerlopin' in my territory!

Very truly yours,
Miss Elizabeth Taylor

Mazie Monday!

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Mazie Grace speakin'.  Today is Mazie Monday!  Oh, dear peoples...we are ALL so glad that mommy is home!  She has been far far aways 'cause her mom is very sick.  She came home 'cause she missed us so very much...oh, and, yeah, she's gots to go back to that place called "work".    Why she keeps goin' there, I'll never unnerstand...any place called "work" just does not sound like  lotsa funs.

We was all so happy to have mommy home last night.  There's no way I can put into words how very happy we was...I think showin' you this video will say it all.  It's kinda longs...sorry 'bout that.  It's very dramaticals...there's shots of me and Jimmy Durante Graves III kissin', Fergie and Mrs. Lilly White takin' baths, more of me and Jimmy kissin'...oh, and me lickin' Elsie Fallulah's foots.  See, Elsie is feelin' all fat and bloated...she has been drownin' her heart brokedness by eatin' Temptations, Fancy Feast and crunchies non-stops...so, she said she didn't wants to be in our video but I wanted to show her that I love her even though she is fat and lettin' herself go all 'cause of that mean ol' Anderson Cooper.

So take a look and enjoy...and...have a very Mazie Monday!

Very truly yours,
Mazie Grace

PS...remember...your beans have to stop what they is doin' and hum "Hail to the Chief" when you walk into a room on Mazie Monday!

Meet the Senator Sunday

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III speakin'.  It's Sunday and time for another edition of "Meet the Senator Sunday"...except there's just a little problem...see I am takin' a vacation and just don't have nothin' to say today...I tell you...with all that hard Senatatin' I have to do every day of the week, I think I'm due a vacation from the stress and turmoil I face. 

So, to unwind and relax, I'm goin' to Tahitti with some chicks.  I'm gonna live it up and have a freaky time with the ladies.  I just hope that annoyin' Anderson Cooper don't decide to 'vestigate me and do a big expose about me and git me in trouble 'cause I fully intend to go wild and let it all hang out this week.  Dang ol' Anderson Cooper...we are all still very mads at him...last Sunday was the last time I will ever grant him an innerview.  I bet my refusal to talk with him will put a big damper in his career.  That's what he gits for breakin' my Elsie Fallulah's heart.

So...I'm off to Tahitti with some babes.  I hope you all have a good week and will return next Sunday for the next stimulatin' edition of "Meet the Senator Sunday".

Very truly yours,
Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III

Trouble is brewin'...

Betty Louise

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is all of us speakin'...mommy had to go out of town real unexpectedly.  Her mommy is very sick.  While she was away, she noticed a stray cat that her dad had been feedin'...she is super-tiny and very very friendly.  Her mom and dad can't take this little girl in 'cause mommy's mom is so very sick.  So...you know what our mommy is thinkin', don't you?...

MOMMY, STEP AWAY FROM THE CAT...DO NOT TOUCH THE CAT...LEAVE THE CAT WHERE IT IS!  We don't want no more cats in this house...there might not be enough Temptations and Fancy Feast for all of us if you bring her to the Whiskers & Purrs House...

STOP IT MOMMY!

Very truly yours,
The Whiskers & Purrs Gang

PS...the kitty's name is Betty.

Them good ol' days...

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Elsie Fallulah Graves speakin'.  I am sad and all of y'all know why...I won't go through it all again...it is very sad and dramaticals.  I just wish I could go back to the good ol' days when I was a baby girl and all it tooked was a nice sunbeam to make me happy...

I am very real sads...I think I need some Temptations to make myself feel betters.

Very truly yours,
Elsie Fallulah Graves

Anderson Cooper broke Elsie Fallulah's heart...

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Elsie Fallulah Graves speakin'.  My only wish for my birthday did not come true...Anderson Cooper has broked my heart.  I guess I'm just not important. 

Me and mommy talked 'bout it...we are still gonna give The Best Little Cathouse in Pennsylvania our donation...even though I might not matter, all them little cats at the sanctuary do.

Thanks to every one of my wonnerful friends that tried to help make Operation Birthday Wish a success...you all are the best friends a girl could ask for.

I am very sad...I'm gonna go binge on Fancy Feast and Temptations to try to help myself feel betters.

Very truly yours,
Elsie Fallulah Graves