Dearest peoples on the innernets,
This is Mazie Grace speakin'. We have been waitin' on all day for the big manly men from Lowes to come and delivery our new dryer. See, our old dryer went kerflooey. So...mommy buyed a new one. The big manly men got here just a little bit ago and pulled the old dryer out from the laundry room. I don't know why, but mommy turned 'bout 57 shades of red and seemed to be very real embarrassed...I know I was THRILLED 'cause...when they pulled the dryer out from the wall, they uncovered about 4731 of my most favortist toys...you know what they are...
All of them tampons had been scooted unnerneath the dryer by ME when I was playin' with 'em. I had forgotted all 'bout 'em until I saw all of them in all of their tampon-fun glory! I wonder why mommy was so embarrassed. And, them big manly men from Lowes was embarrassed, too...I just don't git it...I mean, if these things are good for feminims protections, they must be upstandin' and respectable toys, right? Beans...I'll never figger 'em out.
Oh! I am so happy! I love to play with tampons! I just love to say the word TAMPONS TAMPONS TAMPONS!!!
I'm gonna play play play with them all Thanksgiving weekend! I'm even gonna teach my baby/brother/boyfriend, Little Joey, how to play with 'em and show him where mommy hides 'em. Oh, we're gonna have the bestest weekend EVERS!
Very truly yours,
Mazie "Tampon" Grace

