Elsie had a very bad day...

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Miss Elsie Fallulah Graves speakin'.  Monday was a very sad, bad day.  See, I had me a little problem...somethin' was bad wrong with my pooper.  Mommy discovered it on Sunday evenin'.  I had the poops very real bad.  It was so bad that my tushy was very very VERY red and sore and swollen.  It hurted when I walked and if mommy even thoughted 'bout touchin' me.  She tried to clean me up but it hurted SO bad...I can't begin to tell you how very awful it was.  I screamed very real loud and I growled and I hissed. 

So this mornin' mommy called Aunt Doktor Dugan's office and asked if she could bring me in...I went to see Aunt Doktor Dugan and she ruled out all kinds of things with some tests.  She said she didn't really know what caused my troubles but she had to give me a steroid, some stuff for pain, somethin' for my bad pooper, an antibiotic AND...she shaved my Butt-Tocks!.

But...you know what the worsted part was?  Them very nice peoples from The Learnin' Channel was with us...they got a big long shot of my Butt-Tocks!  My sore, red, hurty Butt-Tockses is gonna be on national TV for the whole dang world to see!

I am SO embarrassed...what will my Anderson Cooper think?  Oh...I will never be able to show my face again!

Very truly yours,
Miss Elsie Fallulah Graves