To all the peoples on the innernets, this is Fergie the Duchess of Huntsmoor speakin'. Today I will tell you know how I gots my name.
Like my brother, Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III, I was a foster kid at my Aunt Sally and Unkle John's house. See, Aunt Sally and my mommy is friends. Aunt Sally knowed that mommy was real sad 'cause The One That Came Before Us named Ricky Eugene Graves had just gone to heaven a couple of months before she met me. Mommy was hurt and cried a lot. Ricky was a beautiful yellow boy just like I'mma beautiful yellow girl. So...Aunt Sally suggested mommy come meet me. The Humane Society was doin' adoptions at PetsMart.
Well...mommy came in and taked one look at me and falled head-over-heels in love. But she noticed that I was sharin' a cage with two other lovely baby girl cats...you can see our picture here:
(Left to right) Fergie, Coco and Lilly
I mean, seriously, people...how could you not fall in love with beautiful womens like us! When mommy saw that we was all skeert to death and dependin' on each other for comfort, her conversation with Aunt Sally went somethin' like this:
Mommy: "I want all three of them."
Aunt Sally: "WHAT?"
Mommy: "You heard me, I want them all."
Aunt Sally: "WHAT?"
Mommy: "I know it's crazy but I want them all. They're all supposed to be with me."
Aunt Sally: "WHAT?"
You can also see the little note on the bottom right side of the cage that says "I'm adopted"...HOORAY!!! We gots a home and a mommy!!!
To make a long story short, that was the beginin' of our new lifes. At that time, my name was Peaches...and I was not happy 'bout it. I mean, kinda sounds like a stripper's name, don't it? I mean, no offense to all the womens in the world named Peaches but, well, it just wasn't my name. I had to figure out a way to git mommy to unnerstand who I was.
See, it ain't real often you find a beautiful yellow-haired girl cat. Most yellow-haired little people are boys. But I am very much a girly girl. Mommy tried lotsa names on me...Scarlett, Ginger, Rosy...but none of them was right. One day me and her was talkin' and she said, "You know, little girl, you are very special... so special that you deserve to be treated like a queen," Then she said..."Wait a minute! There is a royal red-haired lady and she is bold and brave just like you! Fergie the Duchess of York!!! But we don't live in York...Hmmm...Fergie the Duchess of Huntsmoor Drive! That's it!
Ever since then, I has been Her Royal Highness Fergie the Duchess of Huntsmoor. I am a very happy girl. I am married to Felix Unger Graves III. We is in love and do lotsa kissin' every day and night. But I do have a little bit of trouble breathin'. I gots me somethin' called "asthma". I take my medicine every single day like a good girl...and seem to do alright.
Tomorrow you will learn 'bout Mrs. Lilly White and how she got her name! Please be sure to come back and read all 'bout it!
Very truly yours,
Fergie the Duchess of Huntsmoor