Dearest peoples on the innernets,
This is Little Joey Cartwright Graves III speakin'...I know...I am takin' my life in my hands by hi-jackin' the bloggy on Top Cat Tuesday. But...there's some stuff I just gots to say to Elsie Fallulah...she won't let me git near her in person so I hope she will listen to what I gots to say on the bloggy. Please say a prayer she don't kill me. I am just a little skeert of her. Wish me luck...here goes nothin'.
Dearest Elsie Fallulah Graves,
I sure wish you didn't hate my guts so much 'cause I don't hate yours. See...there are some things you need to know, Miss Elsie Fallulah...way back before I was borned, I was up in heaven. And while I was up there, I had me a talk with the God Person. I said "God Person, I know it's almost time for me to go to earth. I'm a little skeert but I gots me some requests...first of all...if I can be like any other person in the world, I would like to be just like Miss Elsie Fallulah Graves. I wanna look like her...minus the womanly bosoms 'cause I'm a boy and want to be a manly version of Elsie Fallulah Graves. I wanna have her kind of furs...I wanna meow like her...I wanna like the things she likes...I wanna not like the things she don't likes...I think you git my drift. I think Elsie Fallulah Graves is the most wonnerful person in the world."
And the God Person said to me "Well, Little Joey...I was thinking about having you look just like Brad Pitt. Are you sure you want to be just like Elsie? I mean...what with her bein' a girl and all?"
And I said "Yes, dear God Person, I want to be just like Elsie. She is good and kind and started out in life with all kinds of things goin' against her...her real mommy was taked away, she only had one nose hole and had to have a operation to make a 2nd nose hole and she had a gigantical tooth growin' out the front of her mouth...just like a unicorn's horn. But even with all of them bad things...Elsie growed into bein' a kind and lovin' Top Cat."
So...off I went on my journey...I was just like you, Miss Elsie, I lost my real mommy and Mommy Jenny came and taked me. She gived me warm bottles of milk and lots of kisses just like she did you. And, just like Big Sister Lucy Margarite hated your guts when you came into the family, you hated my guts.
Oh, Miss Elsie, please be my friend and let's play and snuggle, 'kay? I know it must be hard to have a new person come into the house but...well...I promise to be a good little boy and I will always love you.
Very truly yours,
Little Joey Carwright Graves III
