Whiskers & Purrs

Mazie Monday!

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Mazie Grace speakin' and today is Mazie Monday!  Peoples...we gots a BABY in the house!  Oh he is cute cute CUTE!  This mornin' I sniffed his face and his ears real real goods.  I even licked the insides of his left ear and then...well...I gived him a big loud growly hiss!  I mean, really now, you can't start too soon in lettin' kids today know who is boss...and...I am definitely the boss of him.  Well...maybe Elsie Fallulah and mommy are the boss of him but...when it's just me and him in a room, I am the boss of him for reals!

He don't know how to use his legs real goods yet...and he can't use his eyeballs real goods yet and...we ain't so sure he can hear real good yet, eithers.  Here's a video mommy taked of him...it ain't real goods 'cause mommy had the camera too close.  But...in her defense...it was real hard to hold such precious cargo and a video camera at the same time.

And so, there you have it...our sweet new baby boy.  We are gonna love him and make sure he is okay and then find him a good good home as soon as he is able to take care of himselfs. 

I hope everybody on the innernets has a very wonnerful Mazie Monday.  Remember, whenever you walk into a room on Mazie Monday, your beans have to stop what they is doin' and hum "Hail to the Chief"!

Very truly yours,
Mazie Grace

ULTRA BREAKIN' NEWS!!!

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Elsie Fallulah Graves speakin'.  As the Top Cat for the Whiskers & Purrs Gang, I am usin' my authority to innerupt our regularly scheduled programmin' with BREAKIN' NEWS!  This is BIG people!  Yesterday, one of the ladies mommy works with called us and said her kids had finded a 2-week old kitten.  It's mommy was nowhere to be founded and it was all alone.  Her daughter is very very VERY allergics to us kitties, so they just could not keep the poor little fella.  Mommy called Aunt Doktor Dugan and they agreed that we will keep the little soldier this weekend and in the evenin's and Aunt Doktor Dugan will keep him in the daytime while mommy is at work.

Here's the little man's picture.  We ain't sure of his name yet...he ain't old enough to tell us what it is.  Ain't he cute?  He is very very VERY tiny and mommy has to feed him every 3 hours with a bottle.

And here's a picture of him yawnin'...he sleeped on mommy's chest ALL afternoon.  We are skeert that maybe he will be a mommy-hog. 

He is VERY cute...actually...he looks a lot like ME when I was 2 weeks old!  See...

  

That's me on the left and Baby Boy on the right.   I was also a bottle baby.  You can read all 'bout that here.  Baby Boy is gonna be just fine...look how good I turned out!  I mean, really...I am Top Cat, the star of BIG INNERNATIONAL BLOG and a National TV Star! 

From the bottom of our hearts, we wanna thank the sweet kids that rescued this sweet boy and gittin' him outta harms way.  We promise to take good care of him and make sure he has everything he needs.  When he is old enough, mommy and Aunt Doktor Dugan are gonna work real hard to find him a forever and ever home.

Very truly yours,
Miss Elsie Fallulah Graves
The Whiskers & Purrs Gang TOP CAT

PS...We will make sure the Senator is able to address his public 'bout all them nip addiction rumors in a special edition of Meet the Senator Sunday later this week.

BREAKING NEWS: Public Outcry Over the Senator's Public Nip Intoxication

RICHMOND, Virginia (Cat News Network) -- The Cat News Network (CNN) has been following a developing story regarding Virginia Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III.  Graves appeared on the TLC documentary "Truth Be Told:  I'm Obsessed with my Pet" which aired Wednesday night, August 19.  During the documentary, Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III appeared intoxicated due to an hour-long Nip Fest.  The Nip Fest was a part of a birthday party being held for his sister, Fergie.  At times, the Senator exhibited signs of being unable to stand up straight or walk without falling over on his head.   

CNN contacted the Senator's office for a comment.  We received the following statement from his spokesperson:

"Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III is currently resting comfortably at home with his mommy and family.  He will not be making any comment regarding the TLC segment until his scheduled appearance on the Sunday edition of "Meet the Senator Sunday".  At that time he will address the rumors, myths and inuendo currently being circulated by the media frenzy."

CNN will continue to monitor the situation closely and will keep you up to date on these rapidly changing events as we receive new information.  Stay tuned for more breaking news.

Day #2 bein' big National TV Stars...

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

Well, here we are at day #2 of our bein' big National TV Stars.  Whew!  What a time we is havin'!  The phone ain't stopped ringin', the emails are comin' left and right, the bloggy has lotsa comments and our fan page on Facebook is wild!  Thanks to everybody for enjoyin' our time in the spotlight!

We is keepin' on our toes and stayin' on the lookout for that blasted papparazzi...it's bad enough that Fergie was caughted lickin' her stuff on National TV...we don't want no more bad pictures gittin' out...with all the kissin' and lovin' and snugglin' that goes on in the Whiskers & Purrs House...there's lotsa opportunity for pictures of stuff we don't want showed.  We are bein' extra carefuls.

Okay...we gots to git back to bein' big National TV Stars now.  Life sure is good!

Very truly yours,
The Whiskers & Purrs Gang

Reflections on becomin' National TV Stars...

 

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

Well...our big TV show aired just a little bits ago.  We are all so happy and relieved!  We thoughted it went real good and we are so thankful that all of them very super nice peoples from Pink Sneaker Productions and the kind peoples from The Learning Channel crossed paths with us. 

Aunt Sara, you are so kind and willin' to take time to rub our tummies and talk with us.  You're also very good at what you do.  Please tell Jude we are sayin' prayers for him every single day, 'kay?  Unkle Mark, we think you are the coolest person in the whole dang world!  You are so creative and funs.  Thank you so much for tellin' our story in such a compellin' and thoughtful way.  Unkle Warren, you is the best dang camera guy that has ever been in the whole dang world!  And, since you live in Charlottesville, please wave at us as you drive through Richmond, 'kay?  We like you very much lots.  Unkle Eric, you were so kind and good to us, too.  And, Unkle Shawn, thank you for coming with the crew for the 2nd visit.  We enjoyed havin' you all in the Whiskers & Purrs House, even if the visits was very shorts.

Now...here are some things we observed in tonight's show:

1. Mommy sounds like Ellie May Clampett, Loretta Lynn and Dolly Parton all rolled into one.  This is not necessarily a good thing.
2. Fergie licked her stuff not once but twice on national television and looked right smack dab into the camera while she was doin' it. 
3. Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III was catched right on camera sniffin' nip and wasted.  Senator, there will probably be a Senate 'vestigation into your activities...what was you thinkin'?
4. We have now been National TV Stars for 'bout an hour now and...well, we gots to be honest...WE LIKE IT!

Thanks to everybody that made the show and everybody that watched it!  We are thankfuls for you all!

Very truly yours,
The Whiskers & Purrs Gang

We're gonna be on National TV tonight!

Practicin' for the Papparrazzi...

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Jimmy Durante Graves III speakin'.  Well, today is our big day.  We will officially be big national TV stars after today.  We are very skeert.  We don't want to look like we are a bunch of rednecks livin' with a weirdo freaky bean.  We hope it comes off goods. 

I have started practicin' for when the papparrazzi start puttin' their cameras in my face all the times...I think I have gots it down pritty good now and I'm ready.   You just can't let them peoples git photos of you and then sell 'em to magazines and makes billions and jillions of dollars without sharin'.  It just ain't right.  I'm gonna do it the right way...I'm waitin' on People magazine or maybe Newsweek to call.  I just know the phone will start ringin' off the hook this time tomorrow!

Okay...gots to git lotsa naps in so we can stay up and watch ourselfs in all of our national TV star glory!

Very truly yours,
Jimmy Durante Graves III

Ready for our close-up, Mr. DeMille!

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Miss Elizabeth Taylor speakin'.  We are all very ready for our close-ups on TV!!!  Tomorrow is the big day!  This picture of me was taken by Aunt Sara.  She was a part of the crew that came to the Whiskers & Purrs House back in the spring.  We all liked her a lot...she has a big boy cat named Jude. 

We are all still a little skeert 'bout bein' on national TV and all...I am very worried 'bout the papparrazzi...I just know they are gonna hound me, what with me bein' so beautifuls and all.  Maybe I should consult Angelina Jolie for advice. 

Okay, I must start plannin' for my world debut.  The life of a innernational super star is gonna be very hectic.  I hope I am ready!

Very truly yours,
Miss Elizabeth Taylor

Mazie Monday

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Mazie Grace speakin' and today is Mazie Monday!  Oh, peoples!  I'm startin' to git butterflies in my tummy!  Now...I wish I could say I had eated me some butterflies...Mmmmm...tastey!  But...I'm gittin' butterfly-ey because I am skeert.  My big TV debut is Wednesday night! 

As all of y'all knows, me and my family is gonna be on TLC this comin' Wednesday night.  I'm skeert for several reasons...what if my mommy and our home looks freaky and people make fun of us?  Or...what if lots and lots of peoples falls in love with me?  What if they want me to be their little girl cat?  What if there are millions and millions of boys that want to kiss me?  What if there is somebody that starts stalkin' me and decides to kidnap me?  What if mommy has to hire security and then the papparazzi start accusin' me of havin' a affair with him?  What if there is cameras outside our house 24 hours a day wantin' to sneak pictures of me doin' stuff?  What if the stress of all of this makes all of the Whiskers & Purrs Gang start fightin' and stuff and we all decide to git a divorce?

Oh...I am just so stressed out 'bout this!  I think I will take me a nap.  Please...somebody wake me up when it's all over, 'kay?

Very truly yours,
Mazie Grace

Meet the Senator Sunday: Recess and Healthcare Reform!

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

Today is Sunday.  It is time for "Meet the Senator Sunday" with me...Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III.  I have had me a little down time what with the Senate bein' on recess and all.  I like recess.  It is great funs!  I don't gots to do anything at all when I am on recess...I gits to sleep, eat, poop, look out the window and stare at stuff, stare out into space and meditate and kiss me some womens when I'm on recess...wait a minute...that sounds an awful lot like what I do when I am bizzy bein' a high-powered Senator...I've always wondered why little kids like recess so much.  Once I became a high-powered Senator I finally unnerstooded. 

Now I wanna make one small comment 'bout all this talk that's goin' on 'bout healthcare.  I know some of my fellow Senators are bizzy havin' Town Halls and stuff...not me...I'm very bizzy with doin' my recess stuff.  But, I do want to say right now that I am 100% for healthcare reform.  I gots to tell you...when I go to the vetroregurgitarian, I just git disgusted.  First of all...they touch my stuff without askin' my permission.  Now I know mommy gives her permission but...it is MY stuff.  Stop touchin' it!  And, they squeeze and poke stuff.  Stop it!  And don't even git me started 'bout when they drain out all of my bloods to run tests and stuff.  We need healthcare reform and we need it now.  What is wrong with all you loud mouth people whinnin' 'bout the fact you don't want no reform?  I guess you crazy beans like havin' your stuff touched and squeezed and poked.  You peoples are weirds.

Okay, time to go stare out into space for 4 hours.  I'm on recess...life is good.

Very truly yours,
Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III

PS...Be sure to look for me on TV Wednesday night...I just know I'm gonna steal the whole dang show!