Hi to all the peoples on the innernets. This is Miss Elsie Fallulah Graves speakin'. It's my turn to tell you how I got my name. (My story is kinda long...I is sorry.) My life started out pritty hard. See I was borned in the woods. Me and my cat mommy and brothers and sisters didn't have no home. We was real real tiny...only two weeks old when, one day, cat mommy went to find somethin' to eat...but she never came back. See, she went to catch a birdy in a lady's yard. It made the lady mad so the lady's husband took my cat mommy and dumped her far far away from us. Me and my brothers and sisters were leaved all alone in the big ol' world. We was in trouble.
One by one all of my brothers and sisters started to go to heaven. I knowed I had to do somethin' QUICK! So, bein' the tough chick that I am, I started screamin' at the top of my lungs. The kids of the mean woman that had my cat mommy taked away finded me. The woman didn't want nothin' to do with me...she said she was "lergic" to me. That's okay, I didn't like her anyways. She had them put me in a shoe box...with the lid on it and would take me out to shove a turkey baster down my throat to give me milk. Can you believe that???
After a couple of days, the evil woman called her vet (she had GIGANTIC doggies) and asked what to do with me. The vet called one of his clients (my mommy) and asked if she could go pick me up 'cause he knowed the woman was a couple of bricks shy of a load...if you know what I'mma sayin'. Mommy came, took one look at me and falled madly in love! The first thing she said was "Look at her markings...she looks like a little cow!...Elsie the cow." Well, I ain't so sure that I like bein' called a cow, but, she did git my name right. I am very much an Elsie.
The big question is always "where did Fallulah" come from. Well...one night mommy was watchin' "Friends" on TV. Phoebe Bouffet was actin' silly and made up Monica's middle name...she called her "Moncia Fallulah Geller...mommy kinda liked the name Elsie Fallulah Graves. So...it sticked!
Some innerestin' things 'bout me...I was borned with only one nose hole...so I had a operation to open up the second nose hole. I also had a big gigantic toof comin' out the front of my mouth. So, I had it pulled. Mommy says I was very lucky...I had me a nose job and my teef fixed at a very early age!
Now my life is wonnerful. I spend my days playin' with my new brothers and sisters and my nights watchin' my Anderson Cooper...I LOVE MY ANDERSON COOPER! Life is good.
Very truly yours,
Miss Elsie Fallulah Graves
