Whiskers & Purrs

'Terior Decoratin'

Once again, we ain't bein' treated right.  Mommy is mean.  We worked real real real hard today to make this house look better.  Did mommy 'preciate it?  NO!  She fussed at us for it.  Now I want you to be the judge...take a look at these piktures and see if you don't agree with us that we made things look a WHOLE LOT BETTER!

Here's how the dinin' room (that nobody has EVER dined in) looked when mommy leaved the house this mornin':

As soon as mommy leaved, we got to work to put our "stamp" on the place.  It just don't look right like this.  Mazie started scopin' things out since she's our spiritual advisor...whatever that means.  So, we worked and worked and worked and worked.  And here's the masterpiece we come up with:

Don't it look just perfect now???  You won't believe how hard this look was to achieve.  I mean, do you have any idea how hard it was to knock...I mean, place the lamp perfectly on the floor without it tippin' over?  And, we had to git the lampshade off, too...(we also had to keep it away from Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves, III....he still was drunk from last night's NIP and wanted to wear the lampshade on his head!)

I want everybody in the world to know that mommy fussed at us for doin' this.  Now that just ain't right.  A good mommy would never do such a thang. 

Mommy sucks.

Very truly yours,

Anonymous 

I Might Go To Jail

  Hello to everyone in the whole wide world.  My name is Mazie Grace.  I once was blind but now I can see...thanks to Henrico Humane Society, Uncle Dr. Blair and my Aunt Sally & Unka John.  You can see one of my eyes still aint completely right...but...I can see a whole lot better than I used to. 

Mommy says I'm a real interestin' character.  I don't know what that means but I think it means I'm HOT!  Me and Paris Hilton...Hubba Hubba! 

I got into trouble today.  In fact, mommy says I might even go to jail for it.  Dang...See, I LOVE LOVE LOVE to do laundry.  I started doin' laundry when I lived at Aunt Sally & Unka John's house.  It's the funnest thing in the whole wide world to do.  I like to drag socks, undies, t-shirts, bags, toys and just about anything else you can imagine to the water dish.  I dunk stuff in and out, in and out, and in and out until it's clean.  Mommy comes home and says she never knows what she might find in the water dish...socks, her granny panties, toilet paper...you name it...I've washed it! 

So, today Mommy came home from work and I was in the mood to do some laundry.  She was in the kitchen fixin' me and my brothers and sisters some supper.  I decided that I wanted to find somethin' different to wash.  Her pocket book was just layin' there.  So I managed to open it up and pull out a $5 and $10 bill.  $15 seemed like a fair amount to me...so, I put 'em in my mouf and went straight upstairs to the water dish.  I was so busy washin' the money that I didn't even hear her call me to supper.  She knew somethin' was up when I wasn't available to eat my Fancy Feast.  She came lookin' for me and found me hard at work.  She said, "Mazie Grace!  Don't you know that people go to jail for launderin' money???"  Well, of course, I didn't know that.  And, I mean, honestly...who could put me in jail?  Look how cute I am!  Honestly, humans can be so dumb!