Whiskers & Purrs

Mazie Monday!

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Mazie Grace speakin'.  It's Mazie Monday!  Today we are gonna talk 'bout...what else...Anderson Cooper.  See, my big sister, Elsie Fallulah, has been all worried and everything 'cause Anderson went to some place called "Ghana" and while he was there he was bited on the eyeball by a big ol' bug.  Now his eyeball is all swolled up.  Seein' as that I have had my share of eyeball issues, I told Elsie that I would give Anderson Cooper some advice.  

First of all Mr. Anderson Cooper, I am real sorry your eyeball got bited.  But...if you had Elsie Fallulah Graves with you, she would've deaded that mean ol' bugglet before it ever could've put the bitey on your eyeball.  Now you've got Ghana Buglet Cooties floatin' 'round in your insides.  Are all of your shots up-to-date?  Oooohhh...you better hope so or your eyeball just might fall out!

I tell you what you gots to do to git through this, Mr. Anderson Cooper...you gots to milk it for everything you can!  Don't tell nobody this but...well...it won't take long for your eyeball to start to feel better but...you can git all kinds of pitty and good suppers if you don't let on as though it's betters.  I had my last eyeball operation 'bout a month ago.  It was very real not funs.  I feeled bad for 'bout 3 days but...even though I was feelin' betters, I refused to eat my normal supper and would only eat Temptations...plates and plates and PLATES full of Tempations.  Plus, I had lots of very special time with mommy without any of the other Whiskers & Purrs Gang to bother us.  I bet your mom would be happy to stop makin' jeans and take care of you, too.  I milked my eyeball operation for almost 2 whole weeks!  I bet you could, too!

I hope you are feelin' betters by now but...if you are...that will be our little secret, 'kay?  Remember...pity is only good if you're feelin' good enough to enjoy it!  Milk this boogered-up eyeball situation for as long as you can!  I won't tell.  I will keep your secret just as long as you make Elsie Fallulah's Birthday Wish come true...she just wants you to send her a "Happy Birthday" message on Wednesday, July 15th, either on our blog, on Facebook (Elsie Fallulah Graves), Twitter (ElsieFallulah) or her email address (Elsie AT Whiskersandpurrs DOT com).  We're gonna donate $500 to The Best Little Cathouse in PA cat sanctuary if you do...come on, Anderson...Please don't break Elsie Fallulah's heart...or I'll tell.

Very truly yours,
Mazie Grace

PS...I am SO excited...last week I got my first ever piece of mail addressed to ME!!!  Look at it:

And look what was inside:

It's a Daisy the Curly Cat Card with Daisy in her coconut bra and hula skirt from Aunt Peggy and Laila and Minchie over at the Cataholic bloggy!  Wow...I'm gonna keep this forevers and evers!  Thank you, Aunt Peggy, Laila and Minchie!

Please don't forgit...

Meet the Senator Sunday

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III.  It's time for "Meet the Senator Sunday".  Today we are gonna take a break from our political comments and tend to some personal business.  See...my big sister, Elsie Fallulah Graves, is gonna have her 6th birthday on Wednesday, July 15th.  Elsie is a very good big sister.  I love her very much. 

Elsie Fallulah very much loves Anderson Cooper and wants nothin' more than to have him wish her a happy birthday on Wednesday.  Personally, I think this is silly...I only want nip and Temptations for my birthday but...everwhat...oops...I mean, whatevers. 

Since I am not only a outstandin' Senator but a good little brother, I thought I would grant Anderson an innerview and see if I can't pull some strings...

AC:  Mr. Senator, thank you for joining us tonight to address some of the most important issues facing the United States today.  Mr. Senator, do you have any comment regarding Alaska Governor Sarah Palin's recent resignation?

The Senator:  Uh, well, Anderson, I don't have a lot to say...I mean, I'm pritty sure that Miss Sarah is a few bricks shy of a load...and trust me...I know a lot 'bout loads shy of bricks.  See Sarah quit but she said she wasn't a quitter.  But, if you quit then you are a quitter.  Quitters quit and Miss Palin quit so she's a quitter.

AC:  Uhm, okay.  So Senator, do you think her political career is over?

The Senator:  Well, I think she quit so, yes, it must be over because when you quit you stop doin' what you had been doin'...so she quit politickin' so, yes, I would say it is over.

AC:  Okay...well, I honestly don't know what to say after that, Mr. Senator...

The Senator:  Well, while you're tryin' to think up somethin' else for us to talk 'bout, I've got a question for you, Anderson...

AC:  Okay...I think...

The Senator:  Anderson, my big sister, Elsie Fallulah Graves, has her 6th birthday on July 15th.  She loves loves LOVES you, Anderson.  She has to watch you every night at 10:00 on AC360.  When mommy goes outta town, she has to program the TV so it will turn on at 10:00 for Elsie...if she doesn't, Elsie licks bald spots in her furs.  It is very sad.  Well...Elsie only has one birthday wish.  She just wants you to wish her a Happy Birthday.  Could you do that for her?

AC:  Well, Mr. Senator, I am flattered at the request and appreciate Elsie's adoration but...well...I'm a big, high-powered and important journalist.  I'm not just a lowly reporter...I mean...what will Katie Couric and Brian Williams say if I start wishing fans "Happy Birthday"?  And let's not even talk about what Wolf Blitzer will say...I don't know, Mr. Senator...I just can't compromise my journalistic principles for a cat. 

The Senator:  Awwww, come on, man!  It's gonna take you maybe 30 seconds to leave my big sister an email.  How hard is that?  And, if you just say "Happy Birthday, Elsie Fallulah!" and really mean it...we're gonna donate $500 to The Best Little Cat House in Pennsylvania which is a wonnerful feline hospice sanctuary.  Come on Anderson!  Help a brother out.  I'm gonna have to hear 'bout this for the next six months if you don't do it.  Are you skeert of Katie Couric, Brian Williams and the little Wolfy man?  Are you a sissy?

AC:  Well...I just don't know, Mr. Senator.  I will have to let you know.

And so...dearest peoples on the innernets, we will just have to wait until Wednesday to see if Anderson see's the light and makes Elsie's wish come true.  Please help us persuade Anderson...leave him a message at the followin' places to let him know 'bout his #1 Feline Fan:

How to reach Anderson Cooper:

Facebook:  Anderson Cooper 360
Twitter:  andersoncooper
Blog:   http://ac360.blogs.cnn.com/

Ask him in your message to send his #1 Feline Fan, Elsie Fallulah Graves, a Happy Birthday note at any of these places:

Facebook:  The Whiskers and Purrs Gang
Twitter:  http://twitter.com/ElsieFallulah
Twitter:  http://twitter.com/thekids
Blog:  www.whiskersandpurrs.com

Very truly yours,
Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III

Operation Birthday Wish: DETAILS

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Elsie Fallulah Graves speakin'.  Oh how I love my Anderson Cooper!  I am very worried 'bout him...he is far far aways in Ghana with the President right now...I hope he is takin' his vitamins and takin' lotsa naps!

Since I can't be his cat, I hope with all my heart that he will send me a birthday wish...can you help me let him know?  Startin' now through Wednesday night, please send him a message that tells him how much I love him and want more than anything in the whole dang world for him to just know I'm alive and how smart I think he is and how handsome and...well...you know...the list goes on and on.

Here's how to reach my Anderson Cooper:

Facebook:  Anderson Cooper 360
Twitter:  andersoncooper
Blog:   http://ac360.blogs.cnn.com/

Ask him in your message to send me a Happy Birthday note at any of these places:

Facebook:  The Whiskers and Purrs Gang
Twitter:  http://twitter.com/ElsieFallulah
Twitter:  http://twitter.com/thekids
Blog:  www.whiskersandpurrs.com

You can start leavin' my Anderson Cooper messages now but...we want to hit his Facebook, Twitter and Bloggy REAL HARD on my birthday which is Wednesday, July 15.  Please, if you can help me with lotsa messages to him, I would appreciate it...I have my hopes up SO high!!!  I love my Anderson Cooper very Very VERY much!

Very truly yours,
Miss Elsie Fallulah Graves

Operation Birthday Wish!

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Elsie Fallulah Graves speakin'.  My birthday is on Wednesday, July 15th.  I will be 6 years old...a real growed up girl now!  I am very real excited!  I ain't tellin' everybody this just to git toys and Temptations and nips and kisses and tummy rubs...I mean...it would be nice to git all that stuff but...well...there's really only one thing I wants...

See...I love my Anderson Cooper.  I don't wants to marry him or nothin'...I mean, really now peoples...he's a BEAN!!!  EWWWWwwww...no, I don't wants to marry him but I just want to be his cat.  I think he is very smart and brave...and I just know he smells good!  I want to stay in his big fancy house in New York City and watch AC360 on his big flat screen TV and his mom will make me jeans and his maid will come and scratch my ears every half hour and feed me Temptations every 13 minutes and every 6 minutes she will kiss me on my face.  When my Anderson comes home real late after bein' on CNN, I will sing him my purry songs. 

But, see, mommy says that she wouldn't be able to go on without me here in the Whiskers & Purrs House.  She says I'm her favoritest girl in the whole world named Elsie Fallulah Graves and that, without me, she ain't sure she'd be able to make it.  So...I guess my hopes of bein' my Anderson Cooper's cat probably ain't gonna happen.    But I still love my Anderson Cooper...my only birthday wish is that he would know who I am and maybe Tweet me a Happy Birthday message on Twitter or send me a Happy Birthday note on Facebook or...maybe even leave me a comment on our bloggy.  Oh, dear peoples on the innernets, I would be the happiest girl in the world if he would!

So...I was thinkin' maybe you guys could help me at least try to git my Anderson Cooper's attention.  On Wednesday, do you think maybe you could help me fill up his Twitter page with Tweets 'bout wishin' me a happy birthday?  And maybe hit his Facebook page with LOTS of messages, too?  Oh, and maybe even hit his blog on CNN.com?  Please let me know if you might be willin' to help make my birthday dream come true...

OH, AND BY THE WAY...if we are successful at makin' my birthday wish come true...mommy said that The Whiskers & Purrs Gang will donate $500 to The Best Little Cathouse in Pennsylvania...remember that place?  It's the wonnerful sanctuary that took in our sweet Miss Molly Louise Graves.

So...please help us if you can...let us know if we can count on your help.  We'll post the full plan on Saturday if we git enough people sayin' they will help us.

Very truly yours,
Miss Elsie Fallulah Graves

Miss Elizabeth Taylor Lasers

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Miss Elizabeth Taylor speakin'.  Mommy had been workin' in the yard.  It was gittin' darks so I decided to help her out by turnin' on my lasers.  See...I am not always a mean girl...I can be nice when I want some Temptations...uh...I mean, when I want to.

Very truly yours,
Miss Elizabeth Taylor

Wordless Wednesday: Dreams

Asthma is very unfuns.

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Fergie speakin'.  I ain't feel too goods...mommy came home from work and discovered that I was havin' a asthma attack.  Asthma makes me hurt in my insides when I try to breathe.  I do not like asthma. 

Mommy had to give me my emergency inhaler...I'm startin' to feel betters now...please say a prayer for me that my lungs will git all better...I do not like to feel like this.  It is very unfuns.

Very truly yours,
Duchess Fergie

Mazie Monday!

Havin' eyeballs that work sure can tire a girl out!

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Mazie Grace speakin' and today is Monday...you know what that means...It's MAZIE MONDAY!!!  Oh sweet peoples, this past week has been so wonnerfuls!  I didn't git to tell you 'bout all that happened when I got to go see Unkle Doktor Blair last week...I must fill you in today!

See...me and mommy went in to see Doktor Blair to find out if my eyeballs were workin' after I had my big eyeball surgery a month ago.  When Unkle Doktor Blair walked in...he smiled real big at me and said "Hi cutie!"...I melted into a puddle of swoon when he said that...I got so flustertated that when he went to look at my eyeball, I couldn't open that secret eyelid all us kitties have...he tried and tried to git me to open it but I just couldn't do it.  So...Unkle Doktor Blair put some eyedrops in my eyeballs and BAM!  My secret eyelids opened!

When he looked deep into my eyeballs with his fancy equipment, Unkle Doktor Blair didn't really say much...he just said..."Ohhhhh....Oooooo...AHA!"  Well...mommy was 'bout to wet her pants 'cause she was so stressed out...she just wanted him to say 3 magical words...and then...well...it was all very dramaticals, dear peoples on the innernets...he looked at me and smiled and then it happened.  He said "Mazie can see!" 

Of course mommy gotted all 'motional and stuff.  I was very real embarrassed.  Unkle Doktor Blair said we still gots lots of eyedrops and visits to make sure everything is okay but...well, I CAN SEE!!!  Oh the stuff I've been seein' this past week!  I saw my very first ever BUNNY RABBIT!!!  I was a little bit worried that my fixed eyeballs was gonna pop outta my head when I saw Peter the Rabbit!  And, did you know that when you hear "tweet, chirp, tweet" that it ain't funny music or angels whistlin' a tune?  It's a little fuzzy critter with feathers and wings and a big pointy beak!!!  DANG!    I must say I am a little worried 'bout somethin'...whenevers I see either Peter the Rabbit or them little "tweety chirpy tweety" critters, my mouth starts waterin' and I start chatterin' and waggin' my tail real fast...I cannot control it.  Do you think that means somethin' is wrong?  Maybe the wirin' in my fancy eyeballs ain't right...please let me know what I should do.

And so, my dear friends on the innernets, that's all for this week's Mazie Monday.  I am very thankfuls for my eyeballs that can see and all of you.  Remember, when you walk into a room on Mazie Monday, your beans have to stop what they is doin' and hum "Hail to the Chief"!

Very truly yours,
Mazie Grace

Meet the Senator Sunday: Michael Jackson

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III speakin'.  It is now time for this week's edition of "Meet the Senator Sunday".  Today, dear peoples, I wants to talk 'bout the loss of Mr. Michael Jackson. 

When I first heard 'bout Mr. Jackson's passin', my first thought was "Michael Who?"...I ain't got the bestest long-term memories...but then mommy reminded me and we listened to some of his songs and I then realized that he was a very talented person.  Mr. Jackson, I am very real sorry you had such a sad life.  I just can't help but believe that if you hadn't been such a famous person, you would still be alive today and happy with your kids.  But you are gone now and, whether it was 'cause of drugs or not, I am sad that we will never hear your voice or see you dance again.

See, I unnerstand how stressfuls it can be to be so very famous and watched all the dang time.  Your passin' on to the great beyond has caused me to do a lot of thinkin'...and what with me bein' a big fancy Senator and all, I ain't got lots to think with so this is a big deal for me...I'm takin' one of your songs to heart, Mr. Jackson...see...I'm gonna make a change...for once in my life...before I gits into the same kind of troubles you had...and, it's gonna feel real good.  I'm gonna make a difference...I'm gonna make it rights.    See, Mr. Jackson, I'm startin' with the man in the mirror...I'm askin' him to change his ways.  See...that man in the mirror is gittin' on my last nerve.  If I move, he moves.  If I meow, he meows.  It's very much annoyin'.  I want him to stop...no message could be any clearer...I'm gonna git all sad and freaked out if he doesn't stop it.  Then, I'll have to start wearin' a mask when I inneract with my peoples and before you knows it...I'll be six feet under.  So...I'm askin' him to take a look at himselfs instead of me all the time and...CHANGE! 

I am gonna say prayers for your family and that you will finally be at peace, Mr. Jackson.   Godspeed.

Very truly yours,
Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III