Dearest peoples on the innernets, this is Miss Elizabeth Taylor speakin'. I would like to file a complaint with the "We Ain't Bein' Treated Right" Committee. Some stuff is goin' on in our house that ain't right.
Every mornin' and every night, mommy fixes our Fancy Feast. She puts out 6 little plates on the kitchen counter and then starts to open up cans of Fancy Feast one by one. Ain't nobody allowed to git up on the counter while mommy is workin' on fixin' suppers. We have to wait patiently 'til supper is ready and she puts it down on the floor in our special Fancy Feast Eatin' Area in the kitchen.
Well...over the weekend, Mazie Grace figgered out how to jump up on the counter. She has been sneakin' bites of supper while mommy is fixin' it. THAT AIN'T FAIR! Mommy has been lettin' her do it. She says "poor little Mazie is blind and we have to be extra patient with her"...uh, 'scuse me...supper is supper... blind or not blind, it don't matter...if Mazie gits to jump up on the kitchen counter, we should all git to. She shouldn't git a head start on suppers. Mazie is workin' this "I am blind" thing to death.
I am mad and will not talk to mommy 'til she makes this right...or at least until she gives us more Temptations to make it right.
Very truly yours,
Miss Elizabeth Taylor
