RICHMOND, Virginia (Cat News Network) -- The Cat News Network (CNN) has just received breaking news that the Mommy FBI has arrested Miss Elizabeth Taylor on suspicion of terrorism and stalking of her little sister, Mazie Grace. When Taylor was apprehended in the early hours of February 17, she was found to be in the possession of razor sharp finger nails and a snotty attitude.
Sources close to the investigation tell CNN that Taylor, 2 1/2 years old, known for her almond-shaped eyes and girly-girl meow, had been under surveillence for at least 36 hours. Suspicion was raised when an undercover agent witnessed Mazie Grace screaming at the top of her lungs as Taylor chased her all around the house, up the stairs and back down again.
Taylor was apprehended initially on the morning of Saturday, February 16, issued a strong warning and had her finger nails trimmed. However, sources close to the investigation say that Taylor "just wanted to see if Mazie Grace would 'pop' if she sticked her finger nails into the little blind booger". Witnesses say that throughout the day, Taylor tried to "beat the bejeezuz outta little Mazie Grace".
At approximately 3:00 AM, the Mommy FBI arrived on the scene as Mazie Grace screamed bloody murder while Miss Elizabeth Taylor had her paws wrapped around Mazie's neck. Once Taylor realized the Mommy FBI had her surrounded, she immediately released her hostage and adopted an extremely innoncent and sweet demeanor, saying to the agent "I'm too pritty to do anything wrong...why is you mad at me?"
Taylor is currently being held in the spare bedroom. She is not allowed any visitors, although she continues to stick her paws underneath the door to beg for contact with her family. A spokesperson for the Mommy FBI issued the following statement: "Miss Taylor has been apprehended and her reign of terror has come to an end. She will be held in the spare bedroom until she learns her lesson and stops trying to beat the holy crap out of her baby sister."
Felix the Magical Cat, serving as Taylor's legal representative, is currently working to secure Taylor's bail and subsequent release.
CNN will keep you up to date on these rapidly changing events as we receive new information. Stay tuned for more breaking news.
