Hi to everybody on the innernets. This is Felix a speakin'. I'm mad. Very mad. Mommy has decided she ain't real sure if I have been neutered or not. See, I just showed up one day...you can learn more about my arrival here. Of course mommy taked me to the vetroregurgitarian. Aunt Doktor Dugan wasn't in that day and another vetroregurgitarian gived me an examination. She said that I had already had my very extra special private place operated on and that I had been "fixed"...whatever that means. That was 2 1/2 years ago people! Now mommy has decided that she just ain't real sure...she rudely walked in on me and Fergie do the big IT yesterday...Hubba Hubba!
First of all, can a man and a woman git some privacy? I mean really people. This is ridikilous. Just 'cause me an Fergie got a little somethin' somethin' goin' on don't mean it's anybody's business...that means you, too, mommy! And, mommy's been goin' round tryin' to look at my stuff and compare it to the other boys in the house that she knows for sure have been operated on...how could you embarrass me like that, mommy??? There's just no comparison. I'm the big studly man in this house. Maybe my balls growed back...did you ever think about that? You know I drive the girls wild. Do you really think you could compare me to say, The Senator? Jimmy? PUHLEEEZE! Don't be messin' with my stuff, mommy. I don't find this to be very amusin'.
I'm just flat out mad. I ain't sure I'm ever gonna speak to you again...at least until it's time for supper.
Very truly yours,
Felix the Magical Cat
