Hello to everybody in the whole wide world. This is Lucy speakin'...as if you didn't already know. I mean seriously, people, I am the most important person in this house and when I speak, everybody listens! When I post on this here web site, the number of "hits" we git to the site triples! I've got lots to say so, stick with me and you'll learn somethin'.
As you have noticed, there's a count down clock in the upper right hand corner of this here blog that's countin' down the nummer of days 'til my birfday. Now I want you all to make note that March 13th is a VERY VERY VERY important day in the life of the world.
See, this time last year, I looked like this here picture below. See that big thing stickin' up outta my neck in the back was my feedin' tube. I've writed about that whole 'sperience before. My liver had decided to go on strike. I turned a real funky shade of yellow and I feeled real real REAL bad. I wouldn't eat anything 'cause it made my tummy hurt. So the doctor's at the Hospital For Very Sick Cats put in a feedin' tube. That way, they could make sure my liver could git all the supper it needed to make it feel good and to call off the strike. I was in the hospital for almost a whole month...23 days to be 'xact. Mommy came to see me at least 2 times every single day and would hold me and sing to me. Ricky the Angel Cat stayed with me the whole time. He kept tellin' me "Lucy, you gotta git better. Mommy needs you now more than ever since I'm 
not there. Keep tryin', Lucy." I didn't do real good while I was at the hospital. The doctor's weren't real sure if I'd make it. So they decided to send me home 'cause there wasn't nothin' else they could do for me. Mommy bringed me home (THANK GOODNESS!) and she stayed in the spare bedroom with me for almost a month.
Purty soon, I started turnin' pink again! And, I started eatin' my crunchies and my very extra tasty Fancy Feast. I made it to see my 13th birfday and now, a whole year later, I'm gonna celebrate my 14th birfday! HOORAY!
So, in celebration of my very extra special big-ass day, I have created a list of all the thangs I want for presents. See, Mommy says I deserve to have every single thang I want and more so...git your credit cards out and just say "CHARGE"! You've only got 3 more weeks until it's MY BIG DAY!!! Now I ain't gonna waste yours and my time by sayin' I want "world peace" or "love and tranquility"...I want all of this stuff or cold hard cash...remember, mommy says I deserve it. So, make it happen, people!
Lucy's Big-Ass Birthday Gift Wish List
- Cheese Burger with extra pickles and a super-duper size of frinch frizes with extra extra extra ketchups.
- Fresh nip imported from Italy.
- A professional belly, ear, chin, and butt scratcher named "Jacque" from France...Hubba Hubba!
- One solid week WITHOUT havin' to listen to an Aerosmith CD
- A brand new heated bed that's mine, all mine, and no other cat allowed to even look at it, let alone go lay down in it.
- Ice cream, lotsa lotsa lotsa ice creams with chockit stuff on top
- All the chockit milkshakes I can eat, any time I want 'em.
- All the other cats in this house, 'cept for Elsie, to be banished to the downstairs and never ever ever allowed to be upstairs with me again.
- Toy balls with bells in 'em.
- Sparkley balls with bells in 'em
- Balls with feathers on 'em.
- Ah, heck, just git me balls balls and more balls - preferably round ones.
- Mommy, and ONLY mommy, to brush my hair...ahhh...that feels real real real good, Mommy!
- Mommy to sing "You Is My Sunshine" to me, and only me, every day for the rest of the year.
- Mommy to kiss me at least 473 times every day from now 'til the end of time.
Okay, that's it for now. I might add to the list so be sure to check back often. Please plan on presentin' me my presents on March 13th. I will be waitin' and, please keep in mind, I don't like to be kept waitin'.
Very truly yours,
