Hi Everybody! I think ya'll all know that I love my mommy a lot. She ain't the best mommy in the world but she tries and that's all me and my brothers and sisters can ask for. She works real hard so she can go out and buy us Fancy Feast, Friskees and Nip. So I have decided I'm gonna help her out every single day.
Last night, I really really really needed to make a poop. Since it was Friday night and all, I thought I'd celebrate a little bit by makin' my poop in the bathtub. But, I know every time I 'spress my creativity in the bathtub, mommy has to clean it up. So...I came up with a brilliant plan.
I went ahead and got creative in the tub and then, in order to prevent mommy from havin' to work so hard, I pushed and rolled, scooted and smeared my creative masterpiece down to the hole that water runs out of...I think mommy calls it the "drain". Once I got it all down there, I just squished it all into the drain. I packed it in there good and tight! See, that way, mommy doesn't have to clean it all outta the tub. It'll just stay there in the drain forever and ever!
Now ain't I thoughtful? I'm sure you're a wonderin' why you never thought of that! All them other cats in my house just pooped in the box. Mommy had to clean all of our boxes out. But, bein' the considerate and outstanding Senator that I am, I cleaned it out for mommy. No wonder she loves me more than she loves all them other cats in the house. Dang, I wish everybody could have a thoughtful Senator like me.
Very truly yours,
Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves, III
