Happy New Year to all the people in the world. My name is Mrs. Lilly White and I am exhausted from being so beautiful and nice. I hope you and yours have a wonderful year just like I'm gonna have.
The only thing that I hope to change for this coming year, is the way in which I have to poop. You see, I find pooping to be the most disgusting thing in the entire world. Can't someone do it for me? That is what I must find...someone to do my business for me.
As you can see in this photo, it's just not my favorite thing in the world to do...it's so very difficult to balance my lovely rotund body on one foot while grunting...there just has to be a better way...
See...I poop with only one leg in the box...it's just way to disgusting any other way.
Even my baby sister, Miss Elizabeth Taylor, does the same thing. See:
We just have to figure somethin' out! If anyone has suggestions, please let us know.
Very truly yours,
Mrs. Lilly White
