Whiskers & Purrs

BREAKING NEWS: Senator caught in bizarre costume acting weirder than usual...

BREAKING NEWS

RICHMOND, Virginia (Whiskers and Purrs News Network) -- The Whiskers & Purrs News Network has just confirmed that Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III was found dancing, out of control, with nothing but a bizarre pumpkin hat on while singing and shrieking at the top of his lungs.  He was whapping and slapping everything within whapping distance.

It is said that the Senator's mommy has been summoned to assist in calming him down and getting to the cause of the problem.  The Whiskers & Purrs News Network will keep you up to date on these rapidly changing events as we receive new information.  Stay tuned for more breaking news.

BREAKING NEWS: Felix

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

We might have some news 'bout Felix!  We don't wanna jinx nothin' so we is just gonna ask you to keep prayin' and please come back either later Friday afternoons or first thing on Saturday mornin'...Nothin' has changed yet...Felix still ain't eated NOTHIN' since Monday.  Mommy has been syringe feedin' him Hill's AD, givin' him fluids and his medicines.  But he don't feel goods, seems to hurt all over and still is hidin' either unnerneath the big bed or in the closet.

We ain't sure if it's good news or bad news 'bout Felix.  Mommy has been doin' some research on this here innernets.  She thinks maybe she has figgered out what might be wrong with our Big Brother.  She's gonna call the vetroreguritarian first thing Friday mornin' and, this is the real impordant part...if mommy is right, she is gonna open up a big can of WHOOP ASS on somebody 'acause we think maybe our brother has been sufferin' when he didn't really need to be and most definitely shouldn't have been. 

Remember...please keep your purrolators on high-speed and check back with us in just a little bits...

Very truly yours,
The Whiskers & Purrs Gang

 

URGENT: Felix is in the Hospital for Very Sick Cats

Dearest peoples on the innernets, this is all of us speakin'.  We is skeert.  Felix got pritty sick yesterday and was akchewally screamin' 'cause his insides hurt last night.  He is at the Veterinary Referral and Critical Care Hospital (VRCC) right now.  It is the Hospital for Very Sick Cats.  We is all so worried and sad.  Mommy's eyes have been leaky, too.  She stayed up with Felix all night last night...

Please pray for our Felix, 'kay?  It's real skeery here without him.

Very truly yours,

The Whiskers & Purrs Gang

BREAKING NEWS

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

We is inneruptin' our "How We Got Our Name" series 'cause of some very serious and dramatical BREAKING NEWS!  This evenin', mommy tried to kill me.  I'm quite sure of it.  I was mindin' my own bizniss, when all of a sudden, my paw ended up unnerneath her big ugly boxy foot!  She stepped on me!  I screemt as loud as I could.  Now mommy feels bad...very real bad...and that is good.

Very truly yours,
Mazie Grace

BREAKING NEWS: Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves Actually Uses the Litter Box

RICHMOND, Virginia (Cat News Network) -- The Cat News Network (CNN) has just received breaking news that Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III (D-VA) has actually used the litterbox instead of taking a whizz on the floor.  Sources close to the Senator told CNN "Dang...I've lived here since December and I ain't never seen Henry use the litter box.  He usually just let's 'er rip wherever he is and mommy hasta come clean it up.  Dang...this has me a little spooked!  Maybe the world is gonna end...I'm skeerd!"

Local papparrazzi caught Graves in the litter box around 3:45 pm.  Upon realizing he was being photographed, the Senator high-tailed it out of the box as fast as he could.

Graves has a long history of battling his mommy regarding litterbox issues.  Stating that he prefers to "do my thinkin' outsida the box", Graves has found very creative avenues to express himself: mommy's pillow, mommy's clothes, the water bowl, the bottom of the stairs, smack-dab in front of the door, etc.  Today's development in the bathroom habits of the Senator could signal a change in his policy and possibly a switch in parties.  CNN will keep you up to date on these rapidly changing events as we receive new information.  Stay tuned for more breaking news.