This is Miss Elsie Fallulah Graves speakin'...I know you probably know that, what with you bein' God and all, but...well...I just wants to make sure you know it's me.
I want to thank you for makin' my hiney all better. It ain't swoled-up, itchy and red no mores. I'm feelin' so much betters. And, thank you for lettin' me leave the hospitals. I was tired of bein' there and missed my family so much. I want you to know that I have keept my promise to you...I have been a very real good girl and I ain't been mean to Little Joey Cartwright Graves III. I even let him fall asleep last night with his back up against mine...and I didn't even try to kill him or nothin'. I'm a womans of my word. I made a promise to you and I am keepin' it forevers and evers.
God, I gots another request for you. See, we found us a new friend. His name is Rumpy Reindeer Threet. He is the coolest doglet I've meeted...ever! And, guess what? His mommy is named "Jenny" just like my mommy! She has a kind heart and loves all animals. One day Rumpy's mommy went to the trash dump and found a beautiful wonnerful girl doglet. Here's her picture:
Rumpy's mommy rescued her that day and gived her a home with lots of love. Her name is Dede. God, Dede is such a wonnerful doglet but she has lotsa troubles...I don't know all of her troubles but part of it probably stems from what she may have gone through before Rumpy's mommy rescued her. She is nervous and skeert sometimes. God, could you please whisper Dog Language in Dede's ear and let her know she is safe and loved and will always have a warm home with good foods and lovin' kisses? Please help her to not be afraids, 'kay?
I'm gonna ask all my wonnerful friends on the innernets to say prayers for Dede, too. They was all so kind to say prayers for me and my hiney and that turned out real goods. I just know we can all pray for Dede to be okay, too.
Thanks for watchin' over all the aminals in the world, God. Please help the homeless critters to find shelter and foods and protect them from harm.
Very truly yours,
Miss Elsie Fallulah Graves