Whiskers & Purrs

Meet the Senator Sunday

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III speakin'.  It is now times for "Meet the Senator Sunday". I would like to talk with you 'bout my dear friend, Tommaso...(that I ain't never meeted but I sure plan on it after watchin' this here video):

First of all...if anybody knows Tommaso, let him know his long lost brother is livink right here in Richmond, Virginia.  I've been looking for him for years...so, come home and feel the love, brother.

Secondly, how in the worlds does one go 'bout findin' a rich old eccentric mom? I mean, I gots the old and eccentric part right...what about the rich part?

And finally, somebody might want to tell CNN's Nadia Bilchik that us Americans kinda have a hard time unnerstandin' a word she says...she might want to take the marbles outs of her mouth.

That's it for today.  Gotta go find my dearest friend, Tommaso, and see if he might want to adopterate me.

Very truly yours,
Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III

PS...I'm awful happy, thankfuls and glad that my little sister, Mazie Grace, ain't got that mean old Limpfomas. 

Meet the Senator Sunday: The BOO Edition

Dearest peoples,

It is now times for "Meet the Senator Sunday"...'cept for the fact that I ain't feelink so goods. Mommy is a little bit worrieds 'bout me...I am kinda "droopy"...that's a technical term for "I feel like craps". I really don't feel like doink my regularly scheduled "Meet the Senator Sunday" edition...so...I'm gonna scare the bejeezuz outs of you instead.

We is all very real aciteds 'bout tomorrow beink Halloweens. I hope all of our friends will be safe and git lots of treats. Please remember, keep your kitties on the insides tonight and tomorrow nights...our prayer is that everybody would always keep their pets indoors. But...the days leadink up to Halloweens are aspecially dangerous since there are so many mean and evil people in the world that likes to do bad things to us little people. So...please...promise you will keep your little ones safely indoors.

Very truly yours,
Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III

Meet the Senator Sunday: The Peoples Has Spoked

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

I know...I know...it's been forevers since we has posted any dang thing on our bloggy.  You know who you can blame for that, don't you?  Mommy continues to neglect us.  Howevers, it is time now, once agains, for MEET THE SENATOR SUNDAY!  

First of alls, I wanted to tell you that my book has now gone into paperbook so...be sure to git a copy...asap...I need the moneys so I can continue livin' the lifestyles I have become accustomed to...so...hurry ups!  Buy my book!  I needs the cash!

Secondly, I thoughted it was important to let you know that my peoples has joined together to demand that I share my wisdoms and senatorial good smarts with the innernets.  So...here I ams.  Unlike some senators, I take my job real serious like.  When my peoples call, I am here for them...unless it's at suppertime...or when I'm nappin'...I mean Senatatin'...

I have to be honests and tell you that I am just flat out disgusted with what I have been seein' goin' ons in politiks.  We are headin' into a big ol' lection year and I just dread it.  So many of them doofusses that will be runnin' are gonna bring embarrassments and shames on us smart senators...and there ain't that many of us, trust me.   Plus, mommy starts cussin' when she sees 'em on TV...that disturbs my sleeps...and we all know a good senator needs his good quality senator sleep.

One question I keep gittin' is "Mr. Senator, what should the republicans do with Sarah palin?  could they recycle her in some ways...I have thinked and thinked 'bout this...and, quite honestly, I am stumped.  See, recyclin' stuff is goods.  And, just 'bout every dang thing in the whole world can be recycleds.  newspapers, plastics, cardboards...shoot...you can even recycle poops!  you can put old poops int he garden and it will make your roses smell like...well...roses!  But after givin' it lots and lots of my high-powered senatorial thinkin's...for the lifes of me, I just cannot find a good use for Sarah Palins...

So, I think ol' Sarah & Todd need to go back to Laska where she can keep an eye on Russia from her house for us...and maybe she could take that ol' Bachman womans with her...I mean, "pray the gay away"???  Seriously?  I think we should have a "Pray the Bigots Away" campaign...and git rids of all them closed minded doofusses.  

And, so, my dearest peoples on the innernets, this is all I have time for today.  I am now gonna go stare at the wall and possibly pee in the floor.  Until next Sunday, please continue to vote for me every single day...twice a day when you can.

Very truly yours,

Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III

Meet the Senator Sunday: From the Royal Wedding

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III speakin'.  It's now times for "Meet the Senator Sunday".  As you all knows, me and the entire Gang came to London for the big ass Royal Weddin'.  We has been havin' one heckuva rockin' time!  

This is a picture of me and Elsie Fallulah hangin' out with the Queen and the King.  I want to make sure I innerduce you to my knew womans...her name is Pippa!  DANG...she is hot!  Me and her have been gittin' our freak on togethers...I'm a little bit worrieds, though...she's startin' to git all clingy and stuff...it's time for me to git back to the Whiskers & Purrs House before she starts gittin' any ideas, what with all this weddin' and vows and betrothin' goin' ons.

Okay, time for me to go git my freak on one last time before me and the Gang has gots to go back home.

Very truly yours,

Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III

Meet the Senator Sunday...the Senator Talks Tough.

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This here is Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III a speakin'...it's now time for Meet the Senator Sunday.  Peoples, I'm mads...just 'bout as mads as I have ever been in my whole entire lifes.  I'm mads 'bout this here ignoramus:

Mr. Malomar Gatoffee

First of alls, dude, have you ever thought 'bout maybe takin' a bath and cleanin' up a little bits?  Did your mommy not teach you anything 'bout groomin' your stuff?

Secondly, YOU SUCK.  There comes a time when us politicians need to be able to admit that it's time to go. And, dude, IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO GO...go FAR AWAYS.  

Thirdly, I'm really disgusterated that we gots to take time to focus on YOUR DUMB BEHIND when we need to be focusin' all of our eneriges on them poor people in Japans.  YOU SUCK.  YOU SUCK.  YOU SUCK!  GO AWAY NOW!

And, finallys, have you ever noticed how much you look like this guy...

Yeah, you two looks just alikes...you know...kinda like you just crawled out from unnerneath a flat rock or somethin'...I tell you what, Mr. Malomar Gatoffee...you better high-tail it outs of LibbieYa right nows 'cause we is comin' for you...and we is gonna open up a big ol' can of whoop-ass all over you.

So...maybe you can go join Mr. Osama bin Laden and you two can become roomies in a deep dark cave somewheres...right where you belongs...unnerneath a big ol' rock where only the creepy crawlies lives.

You is a big ol' creep, Mr. Malomar Gatoffee.

Very truly yours,
Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III

PS...YOU SUCK! 

 

Meet the Senator Sunday

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is your humble servant, Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III, speakin'.  It is now time for Meet the Senator Sunday.  Peoples, I have to be honests...I'm tireds...real tireds.  I mean, what with me havin' to do all my senatatin' to git us through the stuff goin' on in Egypts and now Libya, well...I sure could use a good long naps.  Oh, and don't forgit all the counselin' I've had to do with Charlie Sheen...geez...I'm startin' to think maybe he is hopeless.

Plus, we gots lots of constructions goin' on in the Whiskers & Purrs House...I gots to be on my guard and supervise all the work that is bein' dones...'specially them plummers...I have to watch them plummers like a hawks or they will walk 'round showin' their butt cracks and do somethin' funky...and we all know a man has gots to have his butt crack covered and his plummin' workin' rights.  

So, for this week's Meet the Senator Sunday, I'm just gonna naps and dream of a time and place where there is peace and love in Egypts and Libya, all the plummers in the world cover up their butt cracks and have their plummin' workin' rights and Charlie Sheen ain't bat-crap crazy.

Very truly yours,
Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III 

Meet the Senator Sunday: Thoughts for today

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III speakin' and it is now times for "Meet the Senator Sunday".  Peoples, there's just so much goin' ons in the world, I thought it was finally times for me to makes some 'fishal statements.

First of alls, I wants to say "Power to the Peoples" in Egypts!  Who would've thinked that the Twitters and the Facebooks could've made such a big-ass difference in the worlds.  Oh, and Mr. Mubarkik, you need to just keep your sorry old mean hiney far far aways.  Shames on you!  My mommy thinks my poopin' outsides the box is bads...what would she think if she had to deal with all the bad stuffs you've done???

And, Mr.Gatoffee, you is sorry sorry sorry!  I'm wonnderin' if you ever had your rabies shots.   That's the only thing that I can think of that would account for your supreme level of sorriness and meanness. Them peoples in Libya are just 'bout ready to runs you out of towns, Mr. Gatoffee...you might want to go aheads and bend over to kiss your hiney goodbye.  I just have two words for you, sir...YOU SUCK.

Oh, and Mr. Charlie Sheens...you suck, too!  We're all just 'bout fed ups with your reedickalussness.  Do us all a favor and just go aways.

OH!  And how can I forgit Lindsay Lohans.  Miss Lindsay, maybe you and Charlie Sheens can just go off to some secluded island togethers and take all your drugs and alkahols and the stuff you've stoled and leave us all alones.  Geez...YOU BOTH SUCKS!

And so, my dearest peoples, these are my thoughts on the world as we know it todays.  I hope you are all havin' a good Sunday.  I want to leave you all with some words of wisdoms...the world will be a better place if we all just don't be means and we don't suck.

Very truly yours,
Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III 

Meet the Senator Sunday: A Revolution...

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III speakin'.  It's time for Meet the Senator Sunday...and, boy oh boy...have we ever got a doozey.

As most of y'all knows, we have hads all kind of dramas in the Whiskers & Purrs House lately.  Anderson Cooper was comin' to towns to speak and our mommy used our green papers to buy a ticket to go see him.  Well, as you can imagines, this really upsetted Miss Elsie Fallulah Graves, what with Anderson Cooper breakin' Elsie's heart and all.

Well, what people might have forgotted is that me and my brothers and sisters are fambly...and...we is a powerful feline gang...we stick up for each others...trust me...people do NOTS want to git on our bad side...and that includes Anderson Cooper AND mommy.

So, we started havin' secret meetin's...gittin' our plans together and then we went on full attack! We was communicatin' usin' Facebooks and Twitters...There was tinkles where tinkles don't normally go...there was poops where poops ain't supposed to be...stuff was teared ups...We also started practicin' our chant...that was when mommy realized...the sitchewashun was gittin' bads.

She knowed that the power of the peoples can't be stopped...I mean...look at them people in Egypts...they had the RIGHT ideas...and, Anderson Cooper knows a thing or two 'bout feelin' the brunt of a Gang on the warpath...he had his hiney whipped when he was coverin' the Egypt Revolution.

So...as the Sunday speakin' engagement approached, the tinkles and Twitters intensified...and mommy gotted skeerter and skeerter...she knowed that things was gonna go from bad to worser if she didn't do somethin' fast...so...she made the very wise decision to not go see Mr. Anderson Cooper...to save face, she said she had to paint the kitchen...uhm, yeah, right mommy.  

Power to the Peoples!  And Power to the Whiskers & Purrs Gang!  

Peace out, peoples!

Very truly yours,
Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III 

Meet the Senator Sunday...

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III speakin'.  First, I want to just say to all the peoples on the innernets that has been so worrieds 'bout me that I am finally startin' to feel betters and be on the mends. I was pritty sick for almost 10 days with a severe booger attacks.  But, after 2 trips to the V E T and lots of medicines and lots of syringe feedin's by mommy, I am betters.

Today I want to ask you a question...I need your input.  You see, I received an email from this guy's people:

You see, he is gonna be speakin' in Richmond and thought while he was already here, he would innerview me since I'm a high-powered and inflooenchewal Senator.  Now, as most of you knows, due to the unfortunate "Operation Birthday Wish" incident, we ain't even alloweds to say this guy's name in the Whiskers & Purrs House...

He innerviewed me once before and I pritty much put him in his place...I think maybe I'm just a little bit too sopissticated for him.  I must be honest and say that I am a little surprised that he is keepin' his speakin' engagement since he just had his tail whooped in Egypt and all...maybe he's a little bit tougher than I thoughted.

Regardless, I need your help.   Should I grant Mr. Cooper's request and give him an innerview? I don't wants to hurt Elsie Fallulah's feelin's or nothin' but...as a high-powered Senator, I do need to git my message out to the masses and sell more of my books...and what better way to do that than to use Mr. Cooper's TV show.

Please let me know what you think.

Very truly yours,
Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III 

 

Meet the Senator Sunday

Dearest peoples on the innernets,

This is Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III a speakin' and this is Meet the Senator Sunday! Peoples, with all the bad stuff that is goin' on in the world, it's time that we all take a little break...and try to git some enjoyment outs of life.  We all gots to put the blizzards and that hot mess over in Egypt and the troubles in Iraq and the fact that Lindsay Lohan done gone and got herself into more trouble again...yeah, right...you "borrowed" that necklace, Lindsay...behind us.  

Here in the United States, today is Super Bowl Sunday.  Now I ain't quite figgered it all outs yet...I think maybe that Super Bowl Sunday is the day you sit 'round, watchin' TV, eat stuff that ain't no goods for you and burp and scratch your stuff.  

Now the highlight of the evenin' is all them fun TV commercials.  Today I want to share with you the very best TV commercial that has ever been mades...

Mommy gotted to meet them cowboys a long time agos...she said they was tough but...none of 'em could've managed the Whiskers & Purrs Gang.  We is just too tough and wilds...even for cowboys!

And so, my dear peoples, I hope you will sit back, relaxamicate and scratch your stuff...that's what I will be doin'...oh, and thanks to all you wonnerful peoples that are still sayin' prayers for me...I still ain't feelin' so hots after my booger attack last week.  Boogers are hard to git rids of and I am still strugglin' to breathe.  I hope I don't have to go back to the hospitals.  Mommy says I might have to if I don't start breathin' a little betters...I'm bein' a good Senator and takin' all of my medicines...I hope I'll be back to normals soon.

Very truly yours,
Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III