Hi ya'll. This is Elsie Fallulah speakin'. A few weeks ago, Georgie P. Puddinandpie really hurt my feelin's. He called me a two-timin' tart just 'cause Felix came up and made me let him lick my face. I wasn't lickin' him back or nothin'. It makes me mad just to think about it! I AIN'T NO TWO-TIMIN' TART! But, he said he was sorry and bringed me some nip to make up for it. Now we are boyfriend and girlfriend again!
I sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelin's. I take back everything I said...I thought you was flirtin' with Felix. So...does this mean that maybe, uh, well, maybe you might like me too? If you do, meet me at the bottom of the stairs at midnight. Maybe we can make kisses???
I am not a "two-timin' tart" like you said yesterday...
"Elsie was lettin' Felix wash her face! They was a kissin'! Elsie is nothin' more than a two-timin' tart!"
Felix had slapped me on the head and started lickin' my face. He didn't even ask me for permission! I wasn't lickin' his back. You have hurt my feelin's. I hope Coco scratches your eyes out and...I'm gonna tell Mommy that you're spreadin' rumors about me on the Innernets.
I'm so upset...I might just have to move outta this house 'cause I'm so hurt! See...I thought me and Elsie were boyfriend and girlfriend. We kiss all the time and she told me she only liked yellow boys. Everytime Felix (who, by the way, is DEFINITELY NOT a yellow boy!) would try to cuddle up next to her, Elsie would swat him away. She said I was her man.
Last night I went lookin' for her to get some of our usual Saturday Night Smoochin' and what did I walk in on??? Elsie was lettin' Felix wash her face! They was a kissin'! Elsie is nothin' more than a two-timin' tart!
I'm so sad...now I don't have a plus-size girlfriend. I'll show her...I'm gonna go find me an even better girlfriend! Coco is always makin' googley-eyes at me...I'm gonna go find her and make HER my girlfriend now!