Dear Peoples on the Innernets,
This is Mazie Grace speakin'. We is in trouble. Dang. See, every night all of us cats cuddle up with mommy. She thinks it's 'cause we wanna be with her and snuggle with her...well...that ain't 'zactly right. See, we knows that as soon as mommy goes to sleep, we can play and do all them things she tells us not to do...'cause what mommy don't know won't hurt her...or us, right? So we do everything we can to encourage her to go to the sleepy man's house and snooze!
Well, last night was just like all them other ones. Mommy got into bed, turned the TV on and started nittin'. She don't like us playin' with the strings she uses. In fact, believe it or not, she fusses at us when we try to chew on or play with her strings! That don't 'zactly seem right to us and it makes us mad, but that's a whole other story for another day. Anyways...we did our usual purrin' and headbuttin' and snugglin' up next to her in the hopes she would go on to sleeps...IT WORKED! See, mommy sleeps like a dead person and don't hear nothin'. So, we can swing from the chandeliers if we want and she will never know it! And, let me tell you, last night was one fine party at the Whiskers & Purrs house! Dang...we breaked out the nip and everything!
This mornin' when mommy waked up, we heard "WHAT IN THE WORLD! WHO DID THIS???" bein' screamed from her bedroom...somebody must've gotted themselves over the Nip Legal Limit and went plum crazy. All them strings that mommy had been nittin' was a big ol' fuzzy mess. It was very dramatical. She is real real REAL mad. She said she was sure it was me, Jimmy and Freddy 'cause we is "always doin' stuff like this"...uh, 'xcuse me...ain't everybody innoncent until proved guilty???
We just all meeted unnerneath the dinin' room table. We have decided that the best thing is to stay outta her way all day, but if we gots to run into mommy, we gots to look real pitiful and cute. Oh, and we gots to purr real loud any time we see her. That always gits her.
I wonner if any other kitties git into trouble like we do...if you have any suggestions as to how we can manage our mommy better, please let us know.
Very truly yours,
Mazie Grace