Hello to all the little peoples in the world. This is Lucy a speakin'. I have not posted on this here blog for a long long time 'cause I am way too busy for this kind of nonsense. But, I had me a big day today so I thought I should pass along the bigness of it all to you.
See, I ain't been feelin' as wonnerfuls as I usually feel. I mean, I am still as wonnerful as ever...maybe even more wonnerfuls, but sometimes I just don't feel like eatin' my suppers and then sometimes I make vomits. Mommy said we should go visit Aunt Doktor Dugan 'cause Aunt Doktor Dugan knows how to fix EVERYTHING! So, mommy came home from work early today, scooped me up and off we went.
Now, I have to admit that goin' back to see Aunt Doktor Dugan was not at the top of my list of fun things to do on a Monday afternoon. I mean, I know she was super-anxious and excited all day long just a waitin' for me to arrive, but...see...there's some Very Extra Evil Awful Stuff that goes on at Aunt Doktor Dugan's office. Now please unnerstand that she is the very extra-best Vetroregurgitarian in the whole wide world. But people, vetroregurgitarians have to do some very extra evil awful things in order to fix what ails us little peoples. The last time I visited Aunt Doktor Dugan, I had me a feedin' tube. I made lots of vomit and just feeled real real bad. So, I have me some baggage, ya'll. After lovin' and adorin' on me for about, oh, I don't know, FOREVER, she decided to get down to the evil awful stuff she just had to do:
- First she weighed me...IN PUBLIC, ya'll. Now that just ain't right to put a beautiful woman through such public embarrassment and stress...I'm down to 12 pounds. Last time I weighed 16 pounds...and, shoot, I used to weigh over 20 pounds when I was a little/big squirt. Mommy says I've been a watchin' too much of America's Next Top Model and I'm workin' too hard to fit into my skinny jeans.
- Then, she tried to drain every drop of blood I gots. She said it was to run tests on...I don't know, people...that just don't sound right to me.
- Then, and let me tell you, this is the awfulest part, she tried to make me tinkle. Well, without tellin' you more than you want to know, I will tell you that I WON THAT BATTLE! A true lady will NEVER take a tinkle in front of ANYBODY!
- And, finally, she squeezed around on everything I gots...I'm still not sure what that was all about. She listened to my heart, too, and told mommy that I gots me a heart murmur...I'm not sure but I think she just wanted to get all close to me and listen to my purry songs.
So...she told mommy that she would call us tomorrow with the answers to all of our questions as to why I ain't innerested in eatin' my suppers...and I know she will, too...'cause Aunt Doktor Dugan knows how to fix every dang thing in the whole wide world. Stay tuned tomorrow to hear about Aunt Doktor Dugan's report!
Very truly yours,
PS...here's some more pikchurs of a couple of the rug rats that live in this house...maybe I'm allergic to cats and Aunt Doktor Dugan will tell mommy she's gotta git rid of all these little hairy monsters!