This is Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III speakin'. Today is my birthday! I am 8 years old this very day. And in recognition of the anniversary of the occasion of my birth, I declare that today, March 17th, be Litter Box Emancipation Day...all kitties around the world are free to let it rip anywhere they please.
In plain ol' English, it's national "Piss Anywheres You Please Day". Us kitties need a release from the rigorous stress we face many times every day...tryin' to make sure we keep our business in the box. I say, Kitties, FREE YOUR BUSINESS and I can think of no better day to do it than on my very important birthday!
So, kitties of the world, sit back...relaximicate...and take a leak any ol' place you want all day today. And remembers...you are free to pee if you just believe.
Thank you in celebratin' my wonnerful day.
Very truly yours,
Senator Henry Jackson Edward Graves III