Dearest peoples on the innernets,
This is Georgie Porgie Puddinandpie speakin'. I am very real upsets. There has been some rumors 'bout me on the innernets and in some story books. I am very hurted and mad 'bout 'em. Mommy said I should make a public statement to all my peoples to sit the record straight. So...here it goes:
To all my peoples,
I do not kiss the girls a make 'em cry. I am a very good boy. Mommy says so. I do like to kiss me some womens but I am a gentlemen and I ain't never made anybody cry. I want everybody to stop talkin' bad 'bout me.
Very truly yours,
Georgie Porgie Puddinandpie