Hi to all the peoples on the innernets,
This is Felix speakin'. We have gotted 'bout eleventy-seven emails over the weekend askin' 'bout how I'mma doin'. Gosh...that sure does make me feel good, y'all! Now I knows that Mrs. Lilly White gits all upset when we talk 'bout it but...I just had to let you guys know that...
This mornin' at 'proximately 5:15 AM Eastern time, I, Felix the Magical Cat, made the most perfectly normal man-sized poop that has EVER been made!!! HAPPY DANCE! HAPPY DANCE! HAPPY DANCE!!! Now, I did struggle just a little bit with it but NOTHIN' like I did last week! I didn't even haffta scream or nothin'!!! And, it's the first time my poo has been even close to normal in almost a year!!!
Dang...Aunt Doktor Davies sure knows what she's doin' when it comes to fixin' a man's pooper! She gived mommy medicine for me...every night I gits me a shot. It don't hurt or nothin'! It makes my pooper feel better!!! Plus, with all them prayers you peoples on the innernets have been sayin'...shoot...I was bound to start feelin' better.
I am a happy, happy, HAPPY cat!
Very truly yours,
Felix the Magical Cat
