Hi. This is Freddie Astaire Graves III speakin'. Mommy gots mad at me yesterday and I don't think it's fair. She came home after spendin' the whole day playin' with that person named "Work". She had played so hard at Work's house that she was all tired and cranky. She fixed herself some supper and, of course, I had to inspect it and make sure it didn't have no poison in it AND make sure it wasn't somethin' I wanted to slurp and lick and snack on. See, mommy don't particularly like it when I do my inspections. She just don't seem to unnerstand that I'mma doin' this for her own good. She's pritty ungrateful about it, to tell you the truth. Well, she had fixed everything and had turned her back to do somethin' at the sink. So, I figured I'd do my investigatin' when she wasn't lookin'...what mommy don't know, won't hurt her, right?
So, I jumped up on the table and carefully sniffed and licked and sampled her suppers...just as she turned around, unfortunately I had me a Booger Attack. You know, all 12 of us have gots the boogers. Sometimes them mean ol' boogers hit you and you just gotsta sneeze. So...just when mommy saw me samplin'...I mean, inspectin' her supper I had to make a big ol' sneezie. She fussed and fussed and fussed at me. And then, she throwed her plate of supper into the garbage disposal thingy that makes a big loud skeery noise. There is people starvin' in China and mommy throwed that perfectly good plate of supper away!!! That's just wrong, people. I don't particularly think it was a big deal but mommy sure did git herself upset. I just don't git it...boogers is gonna happen...boogers is a part of life. Just git over it, mommy.
Very truly yours,
Freddy Astaire Graves III